Thursday, January 20, 2005

Confusion Say...

I'm suffering from terminal confusion. Or perhaps it's the early onset of a midlife crisis. Well, I've already owned the red convertible, so maybe I'm past that stage and heading on straight towards dementia.

Everything used to be so clear. Religion: Roman Catholic. Political Compass: Conservative. Star Trek: Good. Soap Operas: Bad.

Now everything's so confusing, or perhaps it's just me who's confused. I always thought that being a conservative meant small government. Now it means the government trying to constitutionally define marriage and idiotic ideas like privatizing Social Security. I never so much supported the Republican Party, I just despised such democrats as Bill & Hill, & Ted Kennedy, along with the Michael Moores that sacrificed our country at their altar. But now, we have republican president who is an utter nincompoop. Kerry, on the other hand, was a two-faced jackass. So politically, I'm left in the mire, not supporting anything. I feel without conviction. Or maybe it's just realism? I don't know.

I grew up Roman Catholic. I've grown apart from the Church because I simply don't believe in Religion anymore. God is, religion is what man says God is. I believe in God, the almighty, creator of heaven & earth, of all that is seen and unseen… & that's it. That doesn't mean that I have anything against people who have faith, or follow any religion. If you get comfort from it, then I'm happy for you. I just honestly never did. But these days I feel, as Brother Theo put it in the Babylon 5 episode "Passing through Gethsemane:" "Rudderless, directionless. Cast adrift without compass on an ocean of ecclesiastical possibilities. Tossed by the winds this way, that way…"

I always wanted to be a writer, so I went into the Army after high school. I'm still trying to figure out that one myself. I'm an electrician now. I'm grateful I have such a good job and a way to support my family, but at nighttime I go to bed wondering how the hell I got here.

Star Trek bores me to tears now- except for "The Wrath of Kahn." That's still the greatest science fiction movie ever made. "Kirk... my old friend…"

Soap operas are still bad- at least I'm clear on that one. I was working in an apartment, and the owner left me alone with his beautiful greyhound puppy. He left on the TV every day to keep the dog company. Unfortunately, it was always Days of Our Lives. When the characters screamed at each other, the puppy would cower in the corner. I turned it off. Dogs should only watch educational TV, like The Venture Bros., and The Muppet Show. OK, Star Trek too, but only the original series. Shatner is God.



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