Sunday, February 13, 2005

Out of Me Head

More and more, I find myself afraid of being squished between the cogs of bureaucracy. I suppose it comes from watching Brazil to many times.

Every once in a while, I'll look at a word I've typed a gazillion times and wonder if I've spelled it right. Does this happen to anyone else?

Friday night, some friends & I went to Hooters. For those of you who don't know, Hooters is a restaurant where you're served by human Barbie Dolls who pretend to flirt with you for larger tips (see the South Park episode "Raisins" for a great portrayal.) It's a fun illusion, much better than sitting in a cheap dive looking at other depressed construction workers- as long as you keep in mind that it's an illusion. Well, somebody at the table next to ours didn't quite understand this. He kept begging the young lady for her phone number. "I'm not allowed to date customers," she kept saying, a smile plastered to her face. "Think about it." Finally, they just rotated her with another server. We left at this point, so I don't know if he tried his moves on the next young lady or not. He wasn't a bad guy, he just bought too much into the illusion. All in all, the experience reminds me of a comment Kurt Vonnegut made in Hocus Pocus, that in nowhere but America is sex promised so much and prohibited so much. It occurred to my Heineken-saturated brain that I was sitting inside of advertising turned real life.

On another note, I was surprised at how many couples were patronizing the restaurant. I asked our Barbie Doll about it, and she said that a lot of guys took their girlfriends there on dates. If I had ever taken a girlfriend (or my wife) to Hooters on a date, I probably would have gotten a good slap and a lecture.

When I was in seventh grade English class, Ms. Birzdeck (sp?) told us that time dragged on when you were younger, but it sped up faster and faster as you got older. Of course, we didn't believe her. Now there doesn't seem to be enough time for anything. I half-expected that if this happened, it would be when I was OLD, not old-er. At least I can have the comfort that my senile years will be over quick!


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