Sunday, March 06, 2005

Complain, Complain, Complain!

They found a lost portion of the Book of Revelations. (It had fallen behind some Cardinal's desk.) It translates as follows:

"And the death of the culture & arts of the world were marked by there only being two shows left on television, & their names were Law & Order, & CSI. And yea did it follow that the world spent its economy on Family Guy DVDs so they would have something good to watch. And yea, did the word fall into economic collapse, except for the DVD division of Fox Television…''

Why can't someone create a cybernetic implant that makes one deaf & blind to advertising? The building I'm working in has flat screens in the elevator, for Christ's sake. It's called The Captivate Network. Get it? Captivate- as in captive audience?

The worst offender is AMC Cinemas in the Bridgewater Mall in NJ. They run a video projector showing advertisements before the show, with the volume at a deafening level. You can't have a conversation, you can't think, you're a captive audience with no choice but to pay attention to the f**king commercials. And they actually complain when people buy the bootlegs off the street corner!

Someone is trying to pass a law in NY that says movie theaters must post the actual time the movie starts. Not when the commercial reel starts, not even when the previews start- but when the actual movie starts. Of course, the move chain owners are crying foul. It's not fair to take away their captive audience. I actually had a manager get angry at me once. I took my son to see a movie (The Incredibles, I think,) and Joe was upset that we were a minute late.

"Don't worry," I told him, "the movie doesn't actually start for fifteen minutes."

Would you believe that the manager who overheard this actually lectured me that I was not being fair? Apparantly movie theaters make zilch off the movies and the advertising, (like the outrageous cost of popcorn and soda,) is a way to make ends meet. I told him that I did not give a rodent's toushie, and if I wanted to watch television commercials I'd do it at home for free. If he wants money, he should get it from Tom Cruise, Nichole Kidman, or any of these other assholes that make enough per picture to feed a small nation for a year. Nyah.


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