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Friday, April 15, 2005

A Plea for Sanity in an Insane World

I'm doing a small job in the apartment complex where I live. Jen, Joe & Mandy came by to visit. Here's Joe modeling my lovely pipework.



In other news, it seems the Firesign Theatre is performing live versions of their classic albums Waiting for the Electrician or Someone Like Him, and Don't Crush that Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers. (Probably one of the greatest comedy albums of all time. Every time I listen to it I get something new out of it.) The only problem is that they're only doing it on the West Coast. Isn't there a petition I can get going somewhere to get them to come to NY? This is Manhattan, for Christ's sake!

Speaking of Christ's sake, (And no, that's not what Jesus drinks when he goes to a Chinese restaurant, though that would make a good brand,) people seem to be upset because gamblers are wagering on who will be the next pope. Me, I'm pissed because the P.C. war has claimed the greatest of them all. Yes, friends and neighbors, Cookie Monster is going on a diet. Kids are getting too pudgy, and it must be because they see Cookie Monster scarfing everything in site on Sesame Street. No, it's not that the kids are sitting around watching TV all day and playing video games, (not that there's anything wrong with that.) Or perhaps more kids these days are hurt, scared, lonely and bullied, and are turning to food for comfort. Yes, I know this is not a good thing, but changing the greatest Muppet ever created will NOT change that. Look at the real problems in your children's lives, people, and leave the big C alone!

Yes, friends & neighbors, stick a megaton nuke up Elmo's whiny ass, please, but LEAVE THE BIG BLUE GUY ALONE. It's bad enough George Lucas ruined my childhood by making Greedo shoot first and having boy genius Darth Vader create C3P0. It's bad enough that you can't even trust Bill Cosby to walk the walk anymore. It's bad enough that whenever they show Bugs Bunny cartoons on TV they edit them for P.C. so much they're not funny anymore. JUST LEAVE MY COOKIE MONSTER ALONE, YOU BASTARDS!

Rationally yours,
-Tony

1 comment:

steve said...

Cookie Monster is a good friend of mine and he's pissed that his contract with Sesame Street doesn't cover what foods he gets to promote. It only covers the trademark of his professional name (Cookie Monster). I hear that he's hired American Eagle from the Muppet show to represent him in court. I'm supposed to be a material witness, but Oscar the Grouch stopped by and threatened me with greivous bodily harm. Sigh, dreams shattered. :-(