Monday, May 30, 2005

Here's ANOTHER Word from Our Sponsor:

I finally got around to renting I, Robot. I knew that the movie was far from the classic sci-fi book by Isaac Asimov, (and to be fair, the book as-is could maybe be made into a special on the Disney Family Channel,) but I decided what the hell.

I'm not going to go into the rediculous plot that a three-year-old would be one step ahead of. No, I'm here to talk about PRODUCT PLACEMENT.

From the moment Will Smith puts on clothes, (why do we get a long full nude shot of him in the shower, but when Bridget Moynahan showers we only see her through a foggy window? That's sexual discrimination, Goddamn it, and I'm suing,) a FED-EX robot delivers him a pair of CONVERSE ALL-STAR SNEAKERS.

All right, you think, product placement over. But no, Mr. Smith goes on to lovingly caress his CONVERSE ALL-STAR SNEAKERS making sure that we see that they're CONVERSE ALL-STAR SNEAKERS before putting them on.

Enough, you say. But then, he visits his grandmother. "Hi honey- what's on your feet?" she askes. (I'm absolutely serious. That's the line.) He replies "CONVERSE ALL-STARS, Vintage 2004" (this is to inform everyone watching, that no- these are not futuristic CONVERSE ALL-STARS, you can buy them now!)

But wait! There's more! When Will Smith goes to work, one of the first things out of his boss's mouth is- you guessed it- "nice shoes!"

Now- isn't there some legal recourse I can take? I spent my hard-earned cash to rent A F**KING COMMERCIAL. (There are far more advertisements in the film- MV Augusta SPR, JVC, Audi, Dos Equis… they're just not as blatant.) Can't we get a class-action lawsuit started or something? IMHO these crybabies have no reason to whine about people downloading movies off the internet, (or buying them from the guy on the corner if you live in a big city,) if the movie we pay to see is just chock full of commercials. Not to mention that you have to sit through half an hour of commercials in the movie theater before you even get to the movie!

Sigh. Enough Tirades. Go back to bed. Sigh.


1 comment:

steve said...

Don't know if you ever watched the series, but on one episode of Futurama the character Fry has a crazy dream about some futuristic underwear. He tells his friends at work about it the next day and they tell him that his dream was actually a commercial beamed directly into his brain while he slept. Happens to everyone.

Brrrrrrrrrr. I just gots the chills...