Saturday, March 25, 2006
Do the Monster Mash
Even monsters like to sit in their bathrobes & have a nightcap.
Day 5, and I still can’t walk, still can’t sit for more than five minutes before the pain in my feet & back tell me that if I don’t get up NOW I will be in agonizing pain for the next two hours. I could be using this time to write, to work on False Idols, to play Civ 4... I go to the MRI on Tuesday & the doctor on Thursday. Until then...
I’ve been reading Dr. Sarno's books about back pain, as recommended by Howard Stern, of all people. His theory is that all back pain is the result of repressed rage & anxiety. The sub-conscious cuts off oxygen to muscles to cause pain in order to distract us from emotions we don’t want to deal with. All you have to do is accept this in your sub-conscious & you shall be healed. Obviously, the solution is to become a serial killer so my pain will go away. So if you see someone in your neighborhood, naked save for a ski mask & New Balance sneakers (& socks so I don’t get blisters) wielding a butcher's knife, you'll know it's me. Although 'till I kill enough to heal my back, I'll probably be in a wheelchair.