Sunday, May 28, 2006

Danger: Insomniac Blogging

I woke from a strange dream, which featured two people I haven't thought about in 15 years, nor were I ever that close to. I was in a corridor, and I moved pylons around, but had to wait for people to go by before I could go on myself. I know it sounds vague, but that's the way dreams are. Maybe my s.c. is telling me I'm too subservient.

I got up to make a neural noise mp3 for myself. Nothing major, just a 7.5 brainwave. It will drown out the wife's snoring and the kids' breathing. This apartment is too goddamn loud. And humid. I should just sleep on the couch, but it's lonely & uncomfortable. Unfortunately, so are my headphones, despite their high fidelity. So it goes.

Why are our brains so disjoined from our hearts? Why is it so easy to know something in our minds but not really understand it? Why can I be almost obsessed with a topic one day and completely disinterested the next? Does anyone know anything about anything? I keep searching for the truth behind the truth, which I suppose makes me an occultist in a way. Is this right, or is it just a distraction from living?

I had another dream where I deliberately left Mandy-Pandy on a subway by herself, thinking she'd get where she needed to go. A few hours later I realized this probably wasn't a good idea and started calling the MTA and the police, asking if anyone had reported a two-year-old alone on a train. After panicking, I woke up. I know there's an obvious lesson that she needs guidance, but hell, she's only two! Shouldn't I be having these dreams about my eight year old son? Or how about dreams where I do the right thing, for a change?

Or maybe I should just go back to bed.



Caroline said...

Hello Mr wide awake!

You ask "Why are our brains so disjoined from our hearts?"

Draw a picture and show how yours are connected and where they aren't. Whether it turns out a picture you are proud of or not this does give your not conscious self a chance to answer your question for you.

Some dreams have messages but others really are just processing what is going on already and can be ignored. I suspect your Mandy-Pandy one is like that. Unless you start having it repeat on you... then look at it again.

Did your neural noise thing work? I've always found sleeping in headphones just too uncomfortable...

mab said...

most say that dreams have nothing to do with our real world...who knows? thanks for your kind comments at my blog...
have a great holiday!