"You didn’t ask me what I wanted for father's day," my father chided me over the phone.
"That's because you always say, 'Nothing, don't waste your money,'" I replied. I had, in fact, bought my father hard copies of Scott Adams's God's Debris (which is available as a free e-book,) & its sequel The Religion War. "What did you want?"
"I want you to go to church & say a prayer for me." My parents have never accepted my conversion from Catholicism to Pastafarianism.
"I'll pray for you, but if God is everywhere, why do I have to go to a church?" I asked.
My mother joined in then. "We're praying for you, but you have to pray for yourself too."
"I have been," I told her. "But since I keep praying for the same things over & over, I think God's become bored with me."
I keep forgetting the walls have ears, because while tucking my son in, he asked, "Does God get bored with us?"
"No," I lied. (Joe still has not gotten over his terror that in five billion years the sun will explode.) "I was just teasing Grandma. I’m allowed." Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, how could God not be bored with us? Between television, surfing the net, video games, and our love/hate obsession with an act that even bugs perform- how could God be at all interested? Oh, I’m sure here & there we've caught his eye, like when we nuked Hiroshima & Nagasaki, (though the second time the novelty had probably worn off,) and the moon landings probably made him say, "Neat!" Jesus, DaVinci, Einstein & Hitler probably got his attention, but I bet he wonders why everyone is still drooling over Shakespeare. (Secretly, I bet a lot of English & Drama professors do too. It's probably just that no one wants to be the first to admit that the emperor has no clothes.)
So I ask you, (assuming for argument's sake that God is a separate- which I personally don't believe- all powerful & omnipotent entity,) what do you think someone would have to do to get His attention? What would make Him (or Her if you're inclined) stop flipping channels & say, "Wow! Come here & look at this!" It doesn’t have to be something possible with current technology, but it does have to be something new. Take a second & let me know.