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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Paranoia

The washing machine upstairs, it mocks me, MOCKS ME with it's off-center-load rumbling! I know it's plotting to neuter me with it's hidden cotton cycle. I'm going to creep up the fire escape and drive a knife into it's cruel, soapy lint trap.

How can you tell if lemon juice has gone bad? Would it taste sweet?

Why does everything I eat taste like food?

I definitely must XXmXXX XXXXXXXX one of these days. I would have done it years ago, but the wife won't let me.

Sorry.

When your left buttock shrivels up, turns black, and falls off- is that something you should see a doctor about?

Is it only funny if the person you want to impress is laughing at it?

NFTT
-Tony

6 comments:

Caroline said...

Are you have a good day or a bad one?

Aravis said...

I somehow get the impression that the first thing you mentioned led to all of the others, especially the butt cheek one. *G*

Rayne said...

A wee bit of cabin fever?
I am curious. If your buttock, left or right, shrivels up and falls off do you put it in a bucket of ice and bring it with you to the doctor? Can they reattach it? I hope so. I would miss my buttock.

Tony LaRocca said...

I think that would require some micro-buttock surgery!

merlinprincesse said...

Yes....

Michael O'Connell said...

unplug the washer… eat the lime, but ONLY if it tastes like food… and definitely see a doctor if your left buttock falls off… i can't imagine you doing anything half assed!