Tuesday, July 25, 2006

False Idols Clip #2

Here's another small sampling of False Idols. Getting done... slolwy...

A note to all 3dsMax users out there. If you're going to mix fog and volume fog, make sure to put the volume fog FIRST. I banged my head against the computer for a day trying to figure out why all my opacity maps were being ignored. Rendering in layers also saved a lot of time and headaches- much easier to do than focus effects. More info on False Idols can be found here.

Of course, if you want to see more of my modest work, check out my profile at Enjoy!


Saturday, July 22, 2006

Opposites' Fatal Attraction

This was difficult to come up with. At first I played around with 3ds Max, making a planet that was half city and half water. As you can imagine, the result looked ridiculous. Then I was going to do (first with 3ds and then sketched) someone pulling his face in two opposite directions with his hands. Then this came to mind.

I've been called a "walking talking dichotomy." It must be so easy for those who have a clear idea of what they're doing and why they're doing it. Or maybe they just don't care why. I've also been diagnosed as being both left and right brained to the extent that I become easily confused about how to go about doing things. You'd think my brain would be kind enough to just mesh together, each hemisphere knowing what job to do and when, but no, that would be too useful.

As I'm sure I've blogged before, I have this annoying ability to see and accept multiple viewpoints. I know a lot of opinionated people, (I admit I was one, once,) and this makes them very angry, as I tend to see national and global problems as giant swirls of oil and water with all colors mixed in, rather just in terms of black and white. I once thought that the two-party political system we have here in America was a giant conspiracy to keep anything from being done, but now I think it's just human nature. We want opposites. We want an "us" to belong to and a "them" to be angry at. If we're unhappy, we can always blame the enemy. "It's all ____'s fault!" So much better than actually correcting the problem.

The doctor says I can go back to work, so I'll probably have a new job sometime in the next week. Everyone chant with me, "No driving, no Staten Island! No driving, no Staten Island!"


Thursday, July 20, 2006

Ok, I Admit It

Ok, I admit it. He has to be, without a doubt, the stupidest life form ever to sit in the white house. I was annoyed earlier this week that everyone was making such a big deal about the eavesdropped conversation between W & Tony Blair, but this…

Think about it. One of the reasons W was elected was because of Clinton's legacy of getting a hummer in the oval office (and admit it, all you women out there screaming "sexual harassment" now, you were silent as mice during Monicagate & the Paula Jones fiasco,) so you'd think W would have some sort of professional demeanor to keep up appearances if nothing else. But if you just don't know NOT to touch a woman in an unwanted, intimate way… make that the head of a foreign government... during the G8 summit… in front of news cameras… just… Jesus, I can't even think of something witty to say! I'm just flabbergasted that anyone could be that freakn' stupid.


Monday, July 17, 2006

Thoughts that Keep Me Asleep During the Day

Illustration Friday's word of the week is Sacrifice. About a third of the entries are related in some way to Jesus. (See post below.) A small fraction of the rest either joked about the seventy virgins suicide bombers are supposed to get in the afterlife, or sacrificing virgins to volcanoes. Is there some correlation here? Are the virgins tossed into the volcanoes the same virgins that are available to terrorists in the afterlife? (Yes, I DID mention this as a comment to someone's IF post.) Perhaps the way to end terrorism is to close the volcanoes, though I'm sure that would send the ACLU rushing to have them opened, briefcases at the ready. What environmental effect have sacrificed virgins had upon the mantle of the Earth?

Back to the virgins awaiting terrorists; what happens after their seventy ethereal cherries have been popped? (If you'll forgive the vernacular.) Are they cast, hymenless, into the void, or do they stay on to be in the suicide bomber's harem? Perhaps this is the fine print in the deal with the devil. Sure, you get seventy virgins, but the afterlife is an eternity. You can only be a virgin once, despite the "second virginity" shtick they tried convincing us Catholic teens of in high school. What does a terrorist do for fun once his virgins are used up? Take up macrame?


A friend of mine does work for a cartoonist, and is involved with the merchandising of his comic strip's characters. Wouldn't the ultimate merchandising be DNA mutation? Imagine if you could have your own Penguin that looked like Opus, your own real dog that looked just like Snoopy, or a cat that looked just like Mooch? For an extra hundred thousand bucks, you could get his meows to sound like the word "Yesh." (The trick is clipping the tongue just right.)


The richest s.o.b. in the world would be the guy who invented a drug that would safely stop periods from happening. Maybe it was already invented, but Kotex had the poor bastard bumped off. A great slogan would be "Why be Manhattan when you can be New England?"


Friday, July 14, 2006

Illustration Friday: Sacrifice

Self Sacrifice is never as easy as it looks.


Monday, July 10, 2006

Analyze Tony

I dreamt last night that I was working for some old, bald, mafia guy. He asked for a ham and egg sandwich. I made him one, but he said no- he wanted a loaf of bread cut lengthways, filled with hard-boiled eggs and slabs of ham.

Any ideas?


Friday, July 07, 2006

Illustration Friday: Skyline

(click above for higher resolution)

Here's the view from my brain.

I had so much fun making my sticky-guy last week that I decided to melt him. He deserved it. Probably.

Sky line: Angel, your legs must be tired after running 'round heaven all day.

I want to make one of those anti-smoking commercials where someone is burning in hell for giving second-hand-smoke to innocent babies. Seriously- flames burning their rotting flesh and muscles off their skeletons & everything. As each anti smoking commercial becomes more and more an act of emotional terrorism, it's the next logical step. (Anyone outside the U.S. probably has no idea what I'm talking about.)

A skyline is wherever the ground (or an object on the ground) meets the sky. Ergo, you can have a skyline that's 1x10^-infinite millimeters across. It's all a matter of perspective.


Monday, July 03, 2006

The Updated Childhood of a Geek

Megatron, in 1986's Transformers the Movie.

The Transformers teaser is finally online- a year before the movie's release. Interested as I am, I can't help being annoyed that the characters & storyline are going to be "updated." Every time someone "updates" an existing franchise (translated: re-tools it for the largest common denominator at the expense of long-existing fans) the result is some sort of formless goop that pleases no one, (i.e., the deservedly-bombed Aeon Flux movie.) Sure, Transformers the Movie was a critical disaster, but the fans loved it & it made money- so why mess with success? It's groovie that they're doing a live action/cgi G1 film, but why not keep the original characters and voices the same as they were in the 80s? Who knows, the movie doesn't come out till next year; hope for the best, expect the worst.


Jen looked at my Photo Friday post and laughed. Then she squinted. "You're not thirty-four," she said.

"Sure," I replied. "I was born in '72."

"November, 1972," she corrected. "That makes you thirty-three."

"Oh yeah," I replied, and corrected the post. I honestly thought I was thirty-four. I lost a year, somewhere. I hope it was a good one.


Photo Friday: Happiness is...

I've decided to give Photo Friday a shot. The word of the week is Happiness. Happiness is being a 33 year old Doctor-Who-Geek without shame.


Yes, It's Another "Truth, Justice, & All that Stuff" Blog

I took Joe to see Superman Returns on its opening day. It's a lot of fun, & I love the fact that they did their best to make it fit in with the style of Superman I & II. (Let's just wipe 3 & 4 from our memories, ok?)

Then, of course, came the part that has already been bemoaned on a plethora of blogs and radio talk shows: Perry White is throwing out assignments, and he demands that his reporters find out if Superman still stands for "truth, justice, and all of that stuff." Unless you're twelve years old, you know that the line is supposed to be, "Truth, justice, and the American way." Even if the line was written into the television show for McCarthy-era reasons, it's been attached to the Man of Steel ever since.

The movie makers throw their hands in the air and claim they didn't want to offend anyone, they just feel that Superman is a global figure now. He doesn't belong to America anymore.

That sentiment is fine. However, the writers/director/whoever are full of shit, because if they merely felt a sense of global community, they just didn't have to use the line at all. I don't believe any of the other movies in the Superman franchise say it (correct me if I'm wrong) and no one would have thought of it if it wasn't included. By putting the bastardized version in the script, the moviemakers deliberately wanted to make a political statement and be noticed. Whether you agree with them or not- and personally, I don't- they're acting like the punks around here that spray graffiti on the walls. If you want to use the most powerful media in the world to make a statement- especially one that relates to what has been an American icon for almost seventy years- at least have the balls to admit your motives.


p.s. It's still a great movie. Go see it.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers to the Right...

Illustration Friday this week is Sticky. Sticky sticky sticky. Is there anything worse than something sticky on you? Maybe sticky acid, I suppose. Keep in mind it can always be worse. Making the best of a sticky situation, as they say.

Beliefs are sticky. Religion is sticky. Religion is the ability to not only believe something in the absence of proof, but to insist that others believe in it (without proof) as well. Perhaps the lack of proof is the reason so many people angrily protect their beliefs.

If my blog has been obsessed with religion lately, it's because I've been obsessed with understanding my own beliefs, which have become all feklempt in the last half of my life. I have a lot of fun trying to get my son to understand his own belief system:

Me: (ala Mike Myers) Come, Mr. Bigglesworth!
Joe: I'm not Mr. Bigglesworth, I'm Joe!
Me: What does that mean?
Joe: I'm a boy, I'm not a cat!
Me: How do you know?
Joe: Cat's have fur.
Me: You have fur on the top of your head…
Joe: No! No no no… Cat's meow!
Me: They what?
Joe: ME-OW
Me: You just went "meow!" So you must be a cat!
Joe: NO NO NO!

We become stuck to our beliefs, we become stuck in our own behaviors. Gravity sticks us to the Earth's surface. I am rubber, you are glue. What ever you say bounces off me & sticks to you. Thbbbbt.


p.s. be sure to check out Joe's sticky pic on dARTh-joe!