Pluto, god of Hades, woke up. He stretched. He contemplated brushing his teeth, but there was no one to impress, bar the Minions, and they should be trying to impress him, for Jupiter's sake. There were always the dead to play with, but they were as boring as a cheese sandwich on a hot day. He lay in bed, contemplating the cracks in the paint on the ceiling. He lifted his head as someone knocked urgently but reverently upon his door. "What?" he shouted. "What do you want?"
The door opened slowly. It was Nix, chief of the Minions. "Hey, Boss," Nix said, "We've got a problem."
"What?" Pluto demanded.
"It's the river
"What?" Pluto shouted. "It's that schmuck, Neptune! That overgrown plankton has been bitching that we've been leaching off of him for years!"
"Well, he is God of the seas, you know?" Nix said, and immediately regretted it.
"Get him on the screen," Pluto commanded, "I'll be right down!"
Five minutes later, Pluto was at his command station. The Minions kept their heads bent, trying to avoid his attention. "Come on, come on!" he shouted, as the sound of ringing echoed through the chamber.
"Mercury Online is down," Nix said, finally. "We can't get through. Phones and cable aren’t working either. It says your account is no longer valid."
"Great, just great," Pluto grumbled. "One convenient bill, my ass." He stormed out of his castle and walked through fields of the uncomplaining dead to the puddle
"Having trouble?" one of them asked, an old man with a scraggly beard and one eye. Pluto ground out the other one with the heel of his boot and continued to his castle.
"Nix?" he asked, once inside. "Any mail? You know, comes in envelopes, written on paper?"
"Actually, something came in from Jupiter yesterday," Nix said.
"From Jupiter," Pluto said. "A letter from the big guy. Yesterday."
"Yeah," Nix said.
"And I wasn’t told about this because..."
"Well, Hydra accidentally spilled some coffee on it, and when we tried to dry it off over the coal pits of torture, it kind of got burned up."
"Great," Pluto said. "Just great. No idea what it said, right?"
"Well it's your mail, boss, and-"
"Shut up." Pluto cocked his head. "Hydra, huh? That's a pretty... wet sounding name." He headed towards the elevator. "I’m going back to bed, now. Anything else happens, just shoot me while I sleep. Understand?"
"Yes sir!" Nix said, snapping to attention.
"And Nix..." Pluto scowled at his head minion. "Brush your teeth tonight. Five demerits."
"Yes, sir," Nix replied, crestfallen. Pluto entered the elevator and press the button for his private apartment. As soon as the doors closed, the lights went out. Pluto pressed all the buttons. Nothing happened.
"Fine," he muttered. He curled up on the cold metal floor, and went to sleep.