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Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Banging My Head Against the Wall



Yesterday, I had this conversation with my boss.
Boss: I need you to do me a favor.
Me: Sure.
Boss: Can you take 4 to 6 days off?
Me: No... no, I can't go a week without a paycheck, sorry. I have jury duty next week, though.
Boss: No, sorry, I need it this week.
Me: Sorry. (Extends hand.)
Boss: Oh, I'm sorry to lose you, you're reliable and you know what you're doing. It just sucks. By the way, I need this light put up and these outlets in before you go today.
Me: No problem.

(Me walks away, feeling like an idiot. I've been running work for these people, I'm one of the few people in the shop that never misses a day, never comes in late, I have a clue what I'm doing. I'm really feeling used and abused. I know others have taken up the offer to miss a week of work, but that's not the way it's supposed to go! Oh well, at least he didn't just keep me and bounce my check like some other asshole I can mention. I'm just sick of these tiny little shops. There's no wait for M-Journeymen at the union, maybe a day or two- Whoops! I have jury duty! How can I collect unemployment, or start a new job, if I have jury duty next week? Ok, I can postpone it, just call this number.... no, that's the wrong number, there's a new number.. FUCK, IT'S AUTOMATED!)

Voice: Please insert date you wish to postpone to. This must be within 2 and 6 months from your jury date.
Me: 05.17.2007
Voice: May Seventeenth, 2007... That is NOT within the allowed time period! Please put in a date within 2 and 6 months.
Me: Yes it is! Allright... 05.01.2007
Voice: May First, 2007... That is NOT within the allowed time period! Please put in a date within 2 and 6 months.
Me: Grrr.... 04.01.2007
Voice: April First, 2007... That is NOT within the allowed time period! Please put in a date within 2 and 6 months.
Me: GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU STUPID MACHINE!

(Me calls back, gets number for dial-up. Waits and waits and waits. Gets put on hold. Finally gets through to human being.)

Rude Human: Why should you be postponed?
Me: I'm starting a new job next week.
Rude Human: You have to fill out a letter, explaining-
Me: Wait a minute- why do you have an automated system if I still have to fill out a letter.
Rude Human: You can use the automated system? Then why are you wasting my time?
Me: BECAUSE IT'S NOT WORK- (click) - ING! AARGH! YOU MINIMUM-WAGE-MONGOLOID! YOU WORTHLESS, GOVERNMENT EMPLOYED SEA-COW! GO STICK YOUR HEAD UP YOUR ASS AND FILL YOUR BRAIN WITH YOUR OWN RANCID BUREAUCRATIC FECES!

(Me glutton for punishment. Me calls again.)

Not Rude Human: Ok, what's your name and social?
Me: (Gives info.)
Not Rude Human: Just fill out the form and mail it in.
Me: Um... will it get there in time?
Not Rude Human: You can always drop it off.
Me: Thanks!

(Stay tuned...)

TTFN
-Tony

14 comments:

Katherine said...

Oh for the love of dog! Why must they make things so difficult and convoluted! I know, I know! Just to see poor schmucks like us jump through hoops. It's the only way they get any entertainment at their pissy little jobs. Good luck.

murphy said...

FTG and I have a similar routine with our foreheads + our desks when we feel like the only rational ones left on the planet. It goes like this:
1. Lift head.
2. Bang head.
3. Repeat.

Aravis said...

It sounds to me as though they already have their heads up their asses, etc., which is how you found yourself in that position. The work situation sucks, too. Good luck with everything!

Caroline said...

What is it with (un)civil servants?

And weird bosses who think its fine to force you to miss a week?

Why would you work at all if you didn't need the money??? Okay I know some people do but really...

HARDWAX said...

I'm pretty sure there's not a hyphen between sea and cow.

HARDWAX said...

I came back to look at the youtube, I knew I had forgotten something. My head hurts, but I like it.

Sammy said...

Thanks for the comment... by the way, you seem like such an interesting person! such character and frankness! hahahaha! Hope you get a great deal out of life man! you deserve it! :)

String said...

You think it's bad there, you should be over here! MY GOD.

Rayne said...

Oh, Tony. I am sorry things are going so rough right now. And so damned difficult. Why does it have to be so convoluted? Keep us informed. I hope your day goes much, much better today.

V.K. said...

well shit man! that's one of the funniest, absorbing and lamentable posts I've read in a long time. Sorry it's so f'ed up :-(

I will send you mail art!!

Tony LaRocca said...

Hardwax- you're probably right, but it sort of accents my enunciation of the syllables SEACOW SEA-COW! See? It just doesn't have the same effect.

scarecrow said...

Jeez Tony! The brits could make a full length made for TV mini series out of this.

It looks like you have the bird's nest on the ground. Come on get cracking. You can make the spring line up.

Later

HARDWAX said...

You're right, and I feel like a jerk, no a sea cow, sorry that's sea-cowsea-cowsea-cowsea-cow.

Tony LaRocca said...

Stop that! None of my friends are allowed to feel like jerks on my page. Go do that on your own! :)