Saturday, May 05, 2007

On Becoming a Vampire & a Cannibal


Joe & the LaRocca clan, after receiving his First Holy Communion.

A reading from the Forgotten Gospel of Edgar the Absent-minded:)
Jesus looked at the twelve across his table, and saw they were all sitting where they were supposed to, for yea, they each had place-mats with their names upon them. He took the bread, broke it, and said, "This is my body, When you eat this, remember me." Then he passed around the cup, and said, "This is my blood. When you drink this, remember me.

"You may think this is but symbolism, but I tell you- it is not. In a few hundred years, a church will be founded in Rome, and the priests of this church alone will be able to actually turn papyrus-like wafers and fermented juice of the grape into my body and blood. It shall be called transubstantiation. And my followers shall actually be eating and drinking of me."

And the apostles looked around at each other, and Thomas the doubter, spoke, and said, "Thou art truly creeping me right out, oh Lord."

Here endeth the lesson.


(Look, Boss, de plane- de plane!)

TTFN
-Tony

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Joe! Now lets eat and drink MWAHAHHHAHAAAA ...

Laura McDowell said...

Congrats young LaRocca...

Hey look Tony, you referenced yet another 80's jewel...Ok more late 70's...but Fantasy Island was running until 84.

That'll be it for tonight...Bet your getting tired of seeing my face ;-)

Shano said...

Hee. You're shedding a leeetle more of the real LaRocca. Thanks for sharing the photos AND for the chuckle at the end of your post. Zee plane. Most unused expression.

Aravis said...

You crack me up! I needed that. Great picture, btw.

Tony LaRocca said...

Bee- how could anyone ever be tired of such a pretty face? (Dodges slap from wife.)

VallyP said...

I love this post Tony...it gave me a good chuckle as well as having quite a point! Actually, your blog is great altogether. Can't think why I've never been here before as I've seen your name on other posts. That's always the thing though, isn't it? There are so many bloggers, you can't always get to all the lovely people out there ;-)

Thanks for stopping by on mine by the way!

studio lolo said...

Always fun to see what you're up to! I'm too afraid to comment seeing as someone saw me as 'hostile' on the last post :P
They "so" don't know me.

Penny Cork said...

Tony, this is a lovely and fun post.

Congrats to Joe!

(Hmm... Isn't a television remote control the traditional first communion gift for a young man?)

Best regards,
:)

Tony LaRocca said...

Studio- no, you've never been hostile- at least not here. The person I was talking about, in fact, has never posted on my blog- to my knowledge. He wasn't being so much hostile as harassing someone every day, both on her blog comments & through email. Disagreeing is one thing, harassing is something else.

Penny- young men don't get the remote until the man of the household dies...

oldmanemu said...

Tony I found his a very clever and funny blog. I have been trying to find your blog for a few weeks since I read one of your comments on the blog of french toast girl but the page was always unavailable until today . I like blogs which question beliefs

Nava said...

Thanks for the enlightening lesson!
I've always wondered about that last supper... Now all my questions are resolved.

Inkster said...

LOLOLOLL
that is TOO funny.

Rayne said...

Excellent family photo!
I remember sitting in church when I was a kid and retelling the scripture reading with my own twist to my friends. We would always sit up in the loft so we thought we were getting away with something. Until the day Mother Superior No-Sense-Of-Humor decided to join us. She did no appreciate my version of Job's side of the whole episode of 'let's destroy my life, and test my faith and then think it's okay because you give me some stuff in the end' thing.
She was pretty accurate with those rosary beads, just like Indie Jones and his whip.

Tony LaRocca said...

Rayne- As the Devil says in (the original 1967 version of) "Bedazzled," "Well, Job was what you'd technically describe as a loony!"

String said...

Hummm...someone said the very thing to me last week. Yes the picture is delightful!