Saturday, May 05, 2007
On Becoming a Vampire & a Cannibal
Joe & the LaRocca clan, after receiving his First Holy Communion.
A reading from the Forgotten Gospel of Edgar the Absent-minded:)
Jesus looked at the twelve across his table, and saw they were all sitting where they were supposed to, for yea, they each had place-mats with their names upon them. He took the bread, broke it, and said, "This is my body, When you eat this, remember me." Then he passed around the cup, and said, "This is my blood. When you drink this, remember me.
"You may think this is but symbolism, but I tell you- it is not. In a few hundred years, a church will be founded in Rome, and the priests of this church alone will be able to actually turn papyrus-like wafers and fermented juice of the grape into my body and blood. It shall be called transubstantiation. And my followers shall actually be eating and drinking of me."
And the apostles looked around at each other, and Thomas the doubter, spoke, and said, "Thou art truly creeping me right out, oh Lord."
Here endeth the lesson.
(Look, Boss, de plane- de plane!)