Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Re-mem-mem, Re-mem-buh-mem-ber

Illustration Friday: Remember


Things that are annoying the living crap out of me this week:
1) Snotty Mac commercials. Yes, Vista's over-the-top User's Account Controls is annoying. Yes, you can easily turn it off. Go back to your coffee houses & think of all the cool software you could use if you had a real O.S.
2) Windows Vista. Yes, I turned off User's Account Controls. Yes, I want to keep the damn thing off, so it will stop interrupting whatever I'm doing & asking if I REALLY meant to do that every time I break wind.
3) Anyone who spouts the unbelievable pigshit that there are any jobs in America that Americans don't want. No, Mr. President, there actually are thousands of citizens & legal immigrants across America who mow lawns, clean houses, etc. They just have this silly notion that they should be paid fair wages for it. Stop pretending that you care about anything on this issue except having a cheap work force for your buddies.
4) The Sopranos. What, it wasn't enough that you wasted the entire last season on Vito & Johnnycakes, now you have to waste a whole new episode on his shower-pooping kid? Does this have ANYTHING to do with the series story arc? Um... you do know that this is the final season, don't you?
5) Saul of the Mole Men. Let me get this straight: You didn't have a new episode last week, and this week's episode was just a stinking clip-show? A pox on both your houses!
6) Adult Swim Fix. When TV networks are asked why the commercials are always 200 db louder than the shows, they always fall back on the bullshit answer that commercials are broadcast locally, so they have no control over it. However, on a web broadcast, there's no farging excuse. I make it a point to mute my speakers & turn off the monitor when you interrupt your online broadcasts every five minutes anyway, but it's the principle of the thing.

and most important of all:
7) People who have no life or friends in real life, so they have to harass others on their blogs. Yes, you- you know who you are. Stop whining like a baby about "freedom of speech on the internet" because people are telling you to leave a kind & loving person whose blog does nothing but help others alone. She absolutely deserves every award, praise, & recognition that she's received for her hard work, and nobody cares how jealous you are. Get your hand out of your pants, get out of your mother's basement, & try very hard to NOT be an asshole. It's not that hard, really, just try a few minutes at a time & go from there. We're all rooting for you. Go. Now.

TTFN
-Tony

PS- I forgot
8) Artists in the I-Tunes store that let you buy any track of theirs as an mp3 EXCEPT THE ONE SONG YOU WANT without buying the whole album. Wasn't that the whole point of I-Tunes- that you could buy ANY song for $.99 without having to buy the filler? And the entertainment industry wonders why the public has no sympathy when people download just what they want illegally...

26 comments:

Jennifer Blake said...

Lovely play on words Tony ! *grin*

Anonymous said...

Oh no. I'm one of those "People who have no life or friends in real life, so they have to harass others on their blogs."!!!! You have to remember how to sew that MEMBER of yours back on Tony or your Angel won't be happy! MWAHHAHHAAAAA ...

Tony LaRocca said...

You express your opinions freely, which is fine. This person is just being harassing and needs a life. BTW- did you here about the guy in Japan who lost his schlong, paid thousands in microsurgery to get it replaced with an "organ donor's" and then paid to have it removed months later because he psychologically couldn't accept it as his own? You learn something fun every day...

Anonymous said...

Oh no again HAHHAAAA! You've just saved your member Tony, couldn't let a second hand schlong get in your way
};-}

Madcap Baroness with Teacup said...

I so agree about the snotty Mac commercials. Yea, they are sooo hip.

Have no idea who number 7 is about.

Don't remember dismembering myself, but I've never sewn anyone else back together. Defeats the whole purpose.

french toast girl said...

I dig this illo. :) And I love you.

arvindh said...

cool play on words!

Craig J. said...

So, what's the one song, eh?

ChristyMarcusLitster said...

Tony you crack me up every time I come to your blog!
First of all your "Get your hand out of your pants, get out of your mother's basement, & try very hard to NOT be an asshole" comment had me literally LAUGHING OUT LOUD and not "lol"ing.
Secondly, you illustration reminds me of university and the many injuries we all sustained when trying to sew at 4am... Me I chopped off the tip of my thumb and bled all over my white silk... the chick sewing on the machine behind me at 3am sewed right through her finger tip (right through the nail and everything) and just pulled it out and kept sewing until someone said "um don't you think you should get a tetanus shot??" Great illo!

Digital Scott's Illustrationblog said...

What a terrific idea!!! Smart guy!

Tony LaRocca said...

Craig- "Cut You Up With a Linoleum Knife" (Don't talk- WATCH!) From the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie. Believe that?

HARDWAX said...

Schlong,
I agree with everything you said except 4 [I have to disagree with something]. Beautiful artwork, love the line work and those deep reds, best of all, It's educational.

Larry Lee said...

Nice take on the topic. Good thing he has thread and needle with him. Just what every swordsman carries ;^)

I had to laugh at your rant about Vista/Mac. I just got a new Vista PC at work and it occurred to me that the ad is marketing genius by Apple. Every time Vista asks me to 'allow or deny', all I can think of is the Mac ad. So there you go, every time I use Vista I am reminded of the Macintosh. What more could Apple want?
Now that Apple has delayed OS/X Leopard in lieu of iPhone seems like prime time for PC to 'fight' back.
Keep the rants coming.

studio lolo said...

AAgghh!!! Great take on the word. But you always do a great job because you come from a different perspective most times. You keep it fresh!
Okay, ahem...I love the Mac vs. PC commercials! I think the fact that they irritate you means they're doing exactly what they set out to do. Makes you remember them...and yes, maybe hate them too, but you won't forget them any time too soon.
And that mean blogger person? I know two off hand, one male and one female. They hate any posts that are too cute or cloying or have kitties or bunnies. I know I post my fair share of kitties and "feel the love" stuff. But it honestly comes from my heart (which makes them puke) but in my opinion they just need to get over themselves in a HUGE way. They're boring, lonely and angry because life didn't give them what they felt they deserved. Take a number. Most of us feel that way, but some of us know how to channel it without being mean. Whew! Thanks for your sweet words on my kitty post...another one straight from my heart and with no apologies to the assholes :)

Ian T. said...

Yikes, I'm sensing a little hostility here :).

I have no idea about some of other stuff you're talking about, but it's interesting!

Christine said...

heh heh heh very funny. Great blog too... glad I came for a nose :)

Anonymous said...

WHERE is Hellcat when I need her? MWAHAHHAAAA

*VOMIT*

SIR IASIS said...

WOW no words to describe this art work!! it is AMAZING!! i love the idea of how you made dismember and remember relate its so original!!! You are definetly my IF Hero!!! WERD Up!

merlinprincesse said...

Yeech! I love your illo... Yeech! Hhehhehe. Now, Tony, take a deeeep breath, inhale....exhale... slooooowly..... Feel any better? :) Aunty Merlinprincesse is sending you good vibes.... I hate those pc vs mac ads tooo. Yes we have them up North! :))))

Craig J. said...

Ah, well, I have that soundtrack, so we'll have to see what I can do for you.

steve said...

Owww, nice one Tony. This reminds me of a scene in one of the Rambo films!

Tony LaRocca said...

Thanks, fair Hellcat, it's been so long since I felt your vomit...

Anonymous said...

Adding a *TRIPLE VOMIT*

For your pleasure *vomit* };-}

Laura McDowell said...

Tony...

Genious...Pure Genious...I love it.

Your rants were pretty amusing too...and the loooooong list of comments. Man you got a comment from "French Toast Girl"...you must be like the who's who of the virtual illo world ;-)

I will be coming back here, definitly...Psss....Your background is scary :D

oldmanemu said...

To all those who are wondering the person flaming the blogger was me . I made 2 very inappropriate comments on a certain persons blog I deeply regret that . Tony is right to criticize me publicly. I hope he does not mind me posting on his blog. I did a very stupid thing and I am all ony says I am and worse.

Tony LaRocca said...

Um... it's ok... Just try not to do it again.