Dear Vommitus Masses at Verizon.
For the second time in not even two weeks, my phone line & DSL are down (I'm writing this from a library.) The first time, it was out for four days, each day your useless employees telling me that "it will be up by noon." This is the second day of this round without service, and once again, I'm hearing the same pigeon guano come out of your mouths. Kindly get your collective worthless heads out of your fundaments, get over here, fix my phone line, and stop fornicating it up every time you open the service box down the street.
I'd say "thank you" if you'd actually do something