Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Tony's Movie Reviews: Transformers



Let me start by saying that this is not really a Transformers movie. It's more like Godzilla vs. King Kong with robots. (Optimus Prime doesn't appear until halfway through the movie, Megatron isn't even moving until the last act.) Having said that, it's a great, action-packed movie & lots of fun. It was just a little sad that the Transformers themselves are secondary to the plot.

The Good:
Great story, excitement, believable characters. Amazingly, the U.S. Army were cast as the good guys (which has actually caused some dissent on weblogs.) The Transformers- what little we saw of them- were absolutely as they should be. Kudos for the return of Peter Cullen as Prime.

The Bad:
Although the military were not villains (for once,) the Big Bad U.S. Government took the form of a secret branch of the FBI. I know, I know, this is a Hollywood movie after all. So, Michael Bay, maybe you want to explain to my nine year old son why his country would torture Bumblebee (a good Autobot, for those who are not initiated.) It upset him a lot. The best I could come up with was that you wanted to make sure you were still invited to parties in L.A.
I also could have done without the ten-minute comedy relief scene of the Autobots destroying Sam's yard while tip-toeing around it & trying not to let his parents see them. That was just dreadful.
Far too little actual Transformers in the damn thing! (For the almost 2 & 1/2 hours of running time, there are maybe twenty minutes of actual Transformers in it.)

The Ridiculous:
How many other construction workers muttered a "yeah, right!" when the girl decapitates a Decepticon with one swipe of a Sawzall? If you've ever had a blade fold like cardboard when you hit an unexpected nail while cutting a sheetrock wall, you know what I'm talking about.
Oh, and I'm so so glad that the filmmakers ditched veteran voice actor Frank Welker (the original) for Hugo Weaving to voice of Megatron. Those eight lines or so that he had really added an extra star onto the reviews. (Insert sarcasm here.)

Summary:
If you want to see a movie that's full of fun, action, and excitement, go see this movie. You won't be disappointed. However, if you want to see a creative anime film that's actually about Transformers fighting across the galaxy, rent the original 1986 Transformers: The Movie. I promise you won't be disappointed either.

Side Note:
Did anything happen at the end of the credits? (Not the corny scenes with Sam's Parents.) The anal wipes at AMC Loews Fresh Meadows 7 on Horace Harding Blvd in Queens cut the projector about 2/3 of the way into the credits, despite the angry protests of the twenty or so of us who were still watching. Also, their speakers kept cracking throughout the film. If I have to sit through ten minutes of television commercials after paying to see a movie, I better get my full money's worth!

2 comments:

String said...

Great review! Very thorough will rent it on DVD!

Craig J. said...

Ehh. I wish I could say I was tempted, but even Roger Ebert's three-star review can't convince me to spend my hard-earned money on this.