Sunday, December 02, 2007


"I used to think the brain was the most interesting part of the body... Then I realized, well, look what's telling me that!" -Emo Philips

EMO IS FINALLY DOING A SHOW IN NYC! (Check another one off my "things to do before I die" list!)

Joe & I saw Beowulf in IMAX 3D yesterday. It was a lot of fun- I enjoy watching monsters rip people in half and the blood splattering out at my polarized glasses. A rather boring epic poem I had to read in 11th grade English, Beowulf obviously required a bit of rewriting to make it to the big screen. For example, Grendel's mother (a CGI Angelina Jolie) is now a seductress, luring in both the king (Grendel's father) and Beowulf. The ending was changed... the list goes on and on. And was the addition of Christian-bashing really necessary? Of course it was- this is Hollywood we're talking about.

Other notes:
1) I really don't remember Beowulf being naked when he fought Grendel in the poem. It was actually kind of funny, the way they "Austin Powered" out his genitalia with various silhouettes, props, strategically placed helmets, etc. Maybe this was the effect they were going for, I don't know. I just kind of thought the filmmakers were wandering from their target audience on that one.

2) Kudos for sloppy breasts! Whenever you see CGI breasts, they're always silicone-firm. I was impressed at the jiggliness of the peasant's breasts as she scrubbed the blood out of the tables. (Of course, Angelina Jolie's CGI mud-covered ones were rock hard. And mud-covered. But then again, if I wanted to see her real ones naked, I could find them on the internet in a second.)

3) Why didn't they just use real actors in a CGI enviornment instead of spending millions of dollars trying to motion capture and animate them? As an animator, I was quite impressed by the life-like textures (and facial hair) on the characters, but they still looked like puppets when they talked. Very Shrek-ish. Weird.

All in all, it was a lot of fun. (And a million times better than Chris Lambert's 1999 version.) If you're a High School student, however, just make sure you don't see the movie instead of reading the poem, or your teacher will probably have a lot of laughs at your expense.



Craig J. Clark said...

From what I can recall -- and keep in mind it's probably been just about as long since I've read Beowulf -- the dude did disrobe to battle Grendel. He may have given a reason for doing so, but I couldn't tell you why.

Tony LaRocca said...

Beowulf DOES drop his sword & drop his shield & armor in the poem. It does not say, however, that he got buck naked. It didn't offend me, nor did I mind seeing it with Joe. It was just that with the whole "Austin Powers" treatment it all seemed a bit weird. It also seemed odd from a target audience standpoint: I just don't think the CGI buttocks are going to make girls flock to see this.

Knitting Painter Woman said...

I remember liking Beowulf, but probably because I first read it in The Golden Treasure of Myths and Legends illustrated by Alice and Martin Provensen.
Q.You know what Grendel and his mother have for breakfast?
A. Danish

Tony LaRocca said...

Knttng-Pntr-Wmn - THANK YOU- that joke's right down on my level :)

Knitting Painter Woman said...

You could hardly expect them to want lutefisk!