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Tuesday, April 08, 2008

High Anxiety

Sorry I've been away a while. I seem to be having some sort of inner ear difficulty. I feel like... remember when you were a kid, and you tried to play a 45 (kiddies, ask your parents) without a spacer? You tried to line it up perfectly on the turntable, but no matter what you did, it was always a little out of whack by the end of the song? That's the way I feel. No pain, no sickness, just a little bit out of whack. I may actually go to a doctor tomorrow. I hate going to the Doctor in NYC, because even when I have an appointment, I wind up waiting for hours in the sitting room. Once, I was taken to an examining room, (where they take your blood pressure and temperature before the doctor sees you,) where I passed out. I woke up a half-hour later, made my way to the nurse's station, and asked what had happened. They had simply forgotten about me. Needless to say, I never went back to that office.

Also, a Doctor's visit is never the end of it. If I go, the Doctor will want me to go to someone else the next day and take some tests, which I won't find the results out for until God knows when. Why can't I go see Doctor McCoy? All you had to do was lay down on his table, and some "womp-womp" thing would go by above you. He'd look at the flashing colors and know just what was wrong with you. Then he'd put a painless "hypo" against your arm and you'd feel all better. And if you were already dead, it gave him a chance to say, "He's dead, Jim!"

I'm having fun imagining all the things that could be wrong:
Brain Cancer
Total Solipsistic Universe Collapse
Psychic invasion by 5th dimensional begins
Alien gestating in my brain stem
Turning into a vampire (blood deficiency)
Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo *(most likely the case, but why be normal?)

Maybe I just need more sleep. Or less sleep. Who knows.
Goodnight.

TTFN
-Tony

6 comments:

Knitting Painter Woman said...

I hate hate HATE being worried about my physical self. And when the worries are entwined with concerns for metaphysical self, Aeiiiiii! Have you read The Brain That Changes Itself? There's an interesting initial chapter about Bach y Rita's work on vestibular malfunctions AND HOW THEY TREATED them.http://www.orthorehab.wisc.edu/rehab/faculty/bachyrita.shtml He died recently but the above link lists all his colleagues. Best wishes.

Caroline said...

Worry only makes things worse much worse... if you'll stop worrying after seeing the doctor go and see one!

merlinprincesse said...

Have you met any body snatcher recently?

merlinprincesse said...

Probably just a tiny ear infection or something related with sinuses... Do you sneeze a lot? :)

french toast girl said...

I like the Total Solipsistic Universe Collapse theory.

I love you!

studio lolo said...

You left out a possible parasitic invasion. Could be ascarids. They're known to go into the brain. Yuck! Been near any raccoon poop lately?