Illustration Friday: Routine
A young lady on the E-train, obviously bored by the same old routine.
I have a few routines I like to do. First of all, I sing classic rock songs in the style of Frank Sinatra: (snapping) "Hey hey mama, say the way you move / Gonna make you sweat, baby make you groove/ Doobie doobie doobie doo..." After the crowd is warmed up, I proceed to my long list of bar jokes:
Two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second guy would have ducked...
A horse walks into a bar, & the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"
A mushroom walks into a bar, & the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind!" The mushroom says, "Hey, I'm a fun-guy!"
Jesus walks into a bar & the bartender says, "Close the door - were you born in a barn?"
A jumper cable walks into a bar & the bartender says, "Don't start anything!"
A termite walks into a bar and asks "is the bar tender here?" (This one's my favorite.)
Whenever anyone says "Thank you for calling," I say "Thank you for answering." Much to Jen's dismay, we took up referring to her years ago as "Joe-mama" (our son's name being Joe, you see.) What can I say, I crack myself up.
Please add your own routines. And don't forget to tip your waitress.