Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Same Old Routine

Illustration Friday: Routine

A young lady on the E-train, obviously bored by the same old routine.

I have a few routines I like to do. First of all, I sing classic rock songs in the style of Frank Sinatra: (snapping) "Hey hey mama, say the way you move / Gonna make you sweat, baby make you groove/ Doobie doobie doobie doo..." After the crowd is warmed up, I proceed to my long list of bar jokes:

Two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second guy would have ducked...

A horse walks into a bar, & the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"

A mushroom walks into a bar, & the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind!" The mushroom says, "Hey, I'm a fun-guy!"

Jesus walks into a bar & the bartender says, "Close the door - were you born in a barn?"

A jumper cable walks into a bar & the bartender says, "Don't start anything!"

A termite walks into a bar and asks "is the bar tender here?" (This one's my favorite.)

Whenever anyone says "Thank you for calling," I say "Thank you for answering." Much to Jen's dismay, we took up referring to her years ago as "Joe-mama" (our son's name being Joe, you see.) What can I say, I crack myself up.

Please add your own routines. And don't forget to tip your waitress.



Lou said...

My morning routine is to drink a glass of OJ and eat Fiber One Cereal with raisins. I've been doing this for years where I get a little edgy if I run out of one or the other.

To add to your wife's "Joe-mama" nickname, my son's nickname has always been Mac. Soooo... I'm a Mac's Daddy. Ba-Doom-Boom. :)

Caroline said...

She certainly looks bored - I'm sure your lines would cheer up enormously - unless she's heard them all before.

I hadn't heard the termite one before - I like that!

Rayne said...

Excellent sketch.
This entry is proof positive that New Yorkers are extremely tolerant because I'm pretty sure if you did that in any other city they would have tossed you off the train.

Aravis said...

Your first joke seems to be the sequel to this one I heard years ago:

"A man walks into a bar. Ow."

Loni Edwards said...

Great sketch Tony!