Today's novel progress: 711 words.
Dear President-Elect Obama:
Congratulations on your winning the electoral vote by a landslide. People were literally dancing in the street last night. I wish you the best of luck, you have a hell of a job ahead of you. So just a word of caution: By all means, be proud of yourself, but please, don't popularity cloud your vision.
Allow me to explain.
Bill "Slick Willy" Clinton was a president who could do no wrong in the eyes of the media or his followers. He believed himself above the law, an attitude that led him to commit perjury and become the second president in history to be impeached, (third if you count Nixon's resignation.) His desire to bask in the glow of the dot-com bubble instead of warning caution over the inevitable crash caused the recession of 2000. President George W. Bush armed himself with the conviction that God approved his every decision and surrounded himself with yes-men. 9/11 gave him the highest presidential approval rating ever, a statistic he used to shred the constitution and mire us in a never-ending preemptive war. While the current financial crisis has bi-partisan causes, the gap between the rich and poor under his leadership has become the greatest in history, and wanton deregulation has possibly caused a second great depression. Here in New York City, mayor Bloomberg overturned the term limits the people voted for twice because of his conviction that, being the great liberal nanny that he is, he knows what's best for us.
Do you understand what I'm saying here? You won the electoral vote by a landslide, but 46% of the people voted Republican. They didn't do this because they were the hateful, racist, uneducated, militant Nazis that the media made them out to be, but because (besides simply having different values than you do,) they had legitimate concerns about your lack of experience, national security, your economic plans, and (dare I say it,) your past associations with questionable characters. Don't forget, as Clinton, W., and many presidents before them did, that you have the job of leading this half of dissenting Americans, NOT marginalizing them. No, you should not compromise your ideals for them nor should you appease them. You merely need to take the time to understand and respect them as fellow Americans. You have much to prepare for in the next few months. Make remembering to be humble one of your lessons. Remember, as the liberal media will continue to treat you as someone who can do no wrong, that your judgment is not absolute. (And for that matter, remember the lesson of Hillary Clinton: the liberal media is a fickle mistress.) As the little gay guy chanted in History of the World, "Remember, thou art mortal!"
Again, congratulations, and best of luck to you.