Written on 2/28 on my Pocket PC:
It's 2am. I'm on the F train home & wondering if there will be a bus waiting for me in Queens. I doubt it. If not, I'm walking the three miles home, because I'm not paying $20 for a black cab. At least it's nice out.
I saw my cousin Chris's band, The Influence play. I wonder what I can say anything about them except "they rocked." I'm thoroughly inebriated & wonder if it's a good idea to be writing or if I'll get motion sickness. I hung out afterward with Chris & Allison, meeting new people, tossing back alcoholic beverages, and inhaling a few carcinogens. I'm wondering what that says about me, that I started the evening wound up in anxiety, (long story,) but a few cigarettes, whiskey, and friends make everything alright with the world. I guess it's all part of being human.
They played at the Crash Mansion, which is by the Bowery mission, where every homeless person in NYC seems to emanate from. My eardrums are still pounding. Earlier tonight, Joe took his green belt test in Jeet Kune Do, and I filled up on diner pancakes as we celebrated afterward. Jennifer dropped me off at the subway so I could go to Manhattan & enjoy the show.
Times like this, when I go out with friends, I feel as if I'm living two lives that don't quite mesh. Family man by day, club-hopper by night. Jen is wonderfully accepting the handful of times a year I do this. I feel like I'm getting too old for this, but what the hell. Life is too short not to enjoy yourself.
I wonder what my kids must think, the times when I leave at night & come home the next morning. I don't have a frame of reference. My parents' social life was strictly church-centered. We always socialized as a family. The few times they went away by themselves were on Catholic retreats, and we were left in the care of fellow Christians.
OK, we're jiggling too much and my stomach doesn't like it. Going to stop this now.