Friday, March 06, 2009

To the Parents Who Brought a 5-Year-Old to See Watchmen:

Dear Parents - I'm assuming.

Jen & I saw Watchmen this morning at the AMC Loews on Horace Harding blvd. in Flushing. I saw you in the back row with a five year old - maybe younger - kid. I have to admit I'm pretty liberal minded as to what I let my kids watch - my five year old daughter runs around the apartment yelling, "Giggedy goo!" But I was shocked to see that you thought this movie would be a good idea for a family outing. Ok, I thought, maybe you never read the graphic novel. Maybe you didn't even know the rating. Maybe you just saw superheroes in the commercials and thought it would be a good movie for a kid. Maybe the theater employees warned you that the film was completely inappropriate for your child, maybe not.

Anyway, the movie started, and as the Commedian got the living crap beaten out of him and thrown through a window, I thought, "OK, maybe they realize this isn't a kids' movie now."

I thought the same thing during the fight when a gang member's splintered arm-bone was driven through his skin.

And in the rape scene, when a woman was punched and kicked until she was bruised and bloody and forced over a table...

And when dogs fought over a leg from a child's corpse...

And when a pregnant woman was murdered...

When Rorschach repeatedly drove a meat cleaver into a child molester's head...

When one inmate chopped off another's arms with a buzz saw, splattering blood everywhere...

When somebody was electrocuted... (I got my sewage line!)

When Rorschach cooked an inmate's face in deep-fat-frying oil...

During the hot and heavy sex scene...

When people exploded like bloody meat throughout the movie...

But no, when we left, you guys and the kid were still there. Maybe I'm just mad at myself for not having any testicular fortitude. I really wanted to ask what the hell you people were thinking. because I find it frightening that you put your child through that kind of stimulus. No, I don't think your kid is going to grow up to be a psychopath, but I also can't imagine how a child's mind could process that kind of violence. Maybe you could explain it to me.

TTFN
-Tony

PS - A quick review - I loved the movie, but it would have been even better with a squid!

7 comments:

Craig J. said...

I liked the movie, too, but one thing I missed terribly was the Hollis Mason scene. I trust you know the one I'm talking about. Out of all the omissions, I think that one hurt the story the most.

Tony LaRocca said...

I agree, apparently they cut it out at the last minute. Another thing I felt was missing was the triumphant cry of, "I DID IT!" and when Sally kisses the photograph at the end.

Was it just me, or was the sex scene like watching a bad porno? Jen and I were laughing through it, which I don't think was the intention.

Craig J. said...

If they cut it out then that means they can put it back in. Without it, the subsequent scene with Nite Owl and Rorschach among the lowlifes at the bar doesn't have the same kind of punch. And I, too, missed "I DID IT!" And Hooded Justice's "For God's sake, cover yourself."

As for the sex scene, well, I think it's actually meant to be somewhat ridiculous. I've talked to other people who have seen the film and the flame going off always gets a big laugh.

Tony LaRocca said...

I knew the flame thrower was deliberately for laughs, but teh whole scene - the exaggerated gasps and moans and expressions, it all just seemed very silly.

Knitting Painter Woman said...

If it does take a village, why do so many of us stay silent? And how could we say what we think without seeming prudish? Or starting a riot? That child will definitely need anti-anxiety meds or a good shrink.

Tony LaRocca said...

I've been having a good giggle reading articles about this on the internet, ranging from, "What the hell is wrong with the parents?" to, "I brought my three children to what I thought was a comic book superhero movie, and I walked out! How dare they market this porn and violence to children!" That one cracks me up, as every commercial states that it's rated R, and it's not hard at all to do a tiny bit of research. There are lots of sites that tell parents what's in movies. It's fun for adults, but not for kiddies.

Aravis said...

I can't imagine putting a child of mine through that. I mean, I like to torture kids as much as the next person, but not traumatize them!

I'm with you, Tony. I don't know how I would have handled that.