Hello my friends, I’m sorry that it’s been so long. I’m looking at the headlines for something to write about, and everything just seems so banal. I don’t care that Halle Berry is happy to run around naked, or that some star of some reality show I don’t watch is “criminally annoying,” or someone’s mother is sleeping with someone… I don’t know… In addition, I don’t want to hear any more about the mosque being built near ground zero, or how the MTA is crying poverty again or what imaginary numbers say the economy is/ isn’t recovering depending on who is slanting the news because overall it just sort of makes me feel powerless. No wonder people concentrate so much on celebrity idiocies.
I feel cooked after being out in the sun all day hauling bits of scoreboard (blocks with LED lights on them) with ropes and pulleys and constructing gantries and scaffolds. I wonder why so much of my life I’ve wound up doing things opposite of that that I’m suited for. Is it a subconscious desire to round myself out, or do I feel a need to prove something? OK, I know that I’m smarter than the average bear, but I can also fight off heat stroke while standing on top of a scoreboard, hauling up large bits of metal and fixing ballasts.
I may have mentioned this before, but I wonder how much the push for self esteem is forced consumerism. Due to books and TV shows and movies and commercials with little sad faces that look like illustrations in a Shell Silverstein book, I feel like I’m supposed to be happy and confident all the time, and that everyone else but me obviously is. So I need to buy a self-help book, (as the late great George Carlin said – if someone else wrote it, it ain’t self help!) or buy some sort of happy pill or do yoga, or something along those lines. I agree with Ayn Rand on the subject- self respect and self love comes from doing and being someone you can respect and love. But I also think that I just need to accept myself and stop imagining that everyone has their shit together but me. Our stools are all loose.
On that pleasant note, everyone have a pleasant night and a fun-filled tomorrow.