Sunday, March 06, 2011

Internet Jokes I'm Sick of Seeing.

1) Snappy answers to test questions:
You all know what I'm talking about. There's a high-school exam with physics problem showing the Earth orbiting the sun. An equation for velocity is given, and the problem asks how fast the Earth is going. The student draws in a mutant space hamster kicking the Earth and adds something about it to the equation. The teacher writes, "SEE ME AFTER CLASS, JOHN!" in red pen. Mildly humorous the first hundred times I saw it or its ilk. 90% are probably fakes.

2) facebook comments in a historical setting:
Jesus: Ow, these nails hurt
Pilate: Should have listened to me, bro!
Mary Magdalene: What about our baby?
Judas Iscariot: Dude, use some Chapstick!

Ok, wait, that one is actually funny. But most aren't.

3) Mom of the year photos:
Some trampy looking chick with her hands barely covering her naked boobs vamping in front of a webcam, while in the background a baby is smoking on a bong while cleaning out an AK47. Just don't care.

4) Your version of anything:
If I'm looking on YouTube for the scene from Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask where the 50' breast ravages the countryside, it's because I'm too lazy to get off my ass and put my DVD in the laptop - not, I repeat - NOT because I want to see YOUR re-edited version of it with some parts in black and white, new music, and intermittently sped up and slowed down like Zach Snyder during sex. Woody Allen is a comic genius. You are not.

5) Iphone auto-corrected text snafus:
Me: I'm picking up your mom from church later.
You: Thanks! She says she wants you to bring her book of hymens and her favorite vibrator that looks like Magilla Gorilla.
Me: WHAT???
You: Oh, #$@!'ing autocorrect - she said she wants you to bring her book of hymns and her favorite vibrator that looks like Magilla Gorilla.
Me: Whew, you had me scared for a second!

Again, 90% are probably fakes.

6) RickRolling:
Never was funny, never will be.

I'm sure there are more but I can't think of them right now. Please feel free to add your own.


1 comment:

Rubin Pignk said...

I tired of commercials and advertisements that are longer than the video they precede.

Viral video is starting to show the greasy thumbprint of advertising.