Monday, December 31, 2012

Merry New Year!

Ugh, I had one of those four hours of sleep nights, the kind where you wake at 3:30am and just know you won't fall back asleep. It's for these moments that coffee was invented.

I spent a fun but chilly day in Princeton yesterday with my friends Craig and Kevin. We did our usual tour of The Princeton Music Exchange and that bookstore I can't remember the name of (I bought a collection of Neil Gaiman short stories, along with a Philip K. Dick book I'm pretty sure I haven't read already, Martian Time Slip. Or maybe I have...

After many false starts, I'm finally well into story number nine. I used the same characters and theme from another short story attempt that just wasn't working and changed the setting and conflict. The pieces fit this time. It always amazes me when that magic happens, when most of the tumblers just fall into place.

I finally got to see Prometheus the other night. I watched it with Joe. Fortunately he fell asleep before all the gory bits. For those who don't know, it's the prequel to the Alien franchise. For some bizarre reason, Ridley Scott insists that it's NOT a prequel, it's just... a movie set in the same universe that sets up and explains what happens in the other films. Hmmm... I liked it, I thought it had just enough fanwank too make you go "oooh," as opposed to George Lucas's level of overkill. (I still haven't forgiven him for having Darth Vader create C3P0, but I digress.)

Anyway, happy New Years Eve everyone.


Friday, December 28, 2012

And yet again...

The clouds are racing across the full moon like they're on their way to a hot date. Considering they're about a mile away, the force of the wind up there must be enormous.

I'm trying to ignore the pain in my toe. The pressure on the side of my boot all day pushed the bruise-blood inward, so a lovely purple motif has spread across my sexy hairy hobbit feet.

I bought a combination desk / exercise bike last night, so I can cycle while I write. The last damn story has been a royal pain for me. I'm wondering if I'm deliberately sabotaging myself?

I'm in a miserable, pissed off mood this morning. I'm just angry at everything. I'm sick of being cold everywhere I go. I'm sick of being me. I think I'll just be an asshole to everyone today. It's too late, I've already sat next to my friend Pete on the subway and traded bad Star Wars jokes in between Arnold impersonations (Give the people AIR!) And said good morning to the little old lady waiting for the bus, but I swear, the next person I see...

I had a good talk with my BFAM Jeff last night. He's always been there for me. There have been good and kind people in my life, like pearls spread out across the ocean floor. To all of you, thank you. You matter.

Goddamn it, now I have to start all over again.


Thursday, December 27, 2012


Sigh, if it's not one damn thing it's another. I stubbed my little toe last night. I didn't think too much about it until I woke at 3am with stabbing pain shooting through my foot. My bad little piggy is all black and purple and most likely broken. I got a few cushions from the couch to elevate it, took some Advil and tried and failed to go back to sleep. I broke a toe in the army, so I know there's nothing a doctor can do for me. I'll just have to limp around work until it heals, assuming gimping around on it will not derail the healing process. Like I need this on top of my knee and back issues. Drinking a cup of coffee with a shot of espresso to get me through the day.

You know, there was a time in my life when a day was something I looked forward to instead of having to get through.


Tuesday, December 25, 2012

My cousin Dean told me when I was a kid to never wear my coat indoors, because my body will adjust to the temperature. So every time I get on a warm bus in winter, I strip naked. Not only does it keep me from getting cold when I get off, it ensures no one will sit next to me.

The new Doctor Who Christmas episode is on tonight. I thought I'd be happy that Doctor Who is mainstream, but more than anything, I'm annoyed at the whippersnappers all over the internet. Have some respect for us old timers who loved Doctor Who when we were mocked for it. Doctor Who isn't love triangles and soap operas in space, it's tin foil monsters, rubber masks, and granite quarries. It's 100 minute epics shot on a shoestring budget. Lousy kids.

I took the train to see my sister today. My nephew is seriously addicted to Minecraft. He almost makes me feel ashamed I haven't played in so long. I had a cool world, with a TARDIS, (built on the side of a mountain to give the illusion of being dimensionally transcendental) Stephen King's Dark Tower, complete with a field of roses and a door with red eyes, a control room for my brain, with a portal to hell for my id, a floating glass platform for my superego with motivational quotes on plaques... It's all good therapy.

Merry Christmas to all.


Wednesday, December 05, 2012


Now that the R is running, I have to wait for it. But it's worth it for a seat all the way downtown.

Quote of the day - my daughter seeing The Wrath of Kahn for the first time: "Ewww, I can see his BOOBS!" Yes, Ricardo Montelban had the manliest pectoral muscles in the galaxy. Perhaps that was his fantasy?

Uggh... Wizard needs coffee, badly! And I just realized that instead of my breakfast and lunch bag, I grabbed a bag with two overripe avocados. Sigh. My brain is on auto pilot lately.

The Whitehall station is moldy and reeks. I suppose I should be happy that it's in service at all.

I like to watch fellow subway riders, hopefully in a non-stalker-ish way:

The man sat with ambivalence, simultaneously so rigid it seemed he was supporting the side of the train while his bearing sagged so heavily it looked as if it were pulling his entire body to the floor. His lanky arms hugged his chest over a threadbare button-down v-neck sweater. His face was a mask of either tragedy or constipation. Every few seconds his eyes would loll from side to side daring anyone to guess the secrets of his suffering.

I hope everyone has a happy day. Peace.


Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Fame and Knees

Reading articles about Ke$ha, J-Lo and Li-Lo, I've decided to change my name to To-La. All members of the media can feel free to use it.

I've been having all kinds of knee trouble lately, so I bought arthritis medicine hoping it would help me get through the day. I applied it while watching last nights Adventure Time with the younglings (which was a little on the dark side, one of the reasons I love that show.) Within a few minutes, my leg started burning like an Oedipus. I also made the mistake of wiping my nose, which had the same lovely effect on my nostrils. (Note to self, scrub hands thoroughly before going to the bathroom.) I was able to sleep without feeling like someone was twisting my leg, it just felt like someone was roasting it instead. I've taken some painkillers, so I'm goifng to have to make sure I drink lots of coffee to balance them out. It's called living healthy.

A month after the hurricane, the R train is FINALLY going all the way downtown! I no longer have to stand on the E and then change trains twice, and I don't have to walk all the way to the Freedom Tower to catch the E coming back. Every little bit helps.

Except for occasional flashes of happiness, my days seem to blur into each other. I have to go imprint some diverse memories. When you feel trapped in molasses, the only solution is to eat your way out.


Monday, December 03, 2012


I'm on the bus. I forgot my metro card, but my friend Pete was kind enough to swipe me a ride. Either a lucky or unlucky way to start a day, depending on how you look at it.

I'm forcing my mind into a positive frame. I imagine this literally: A frame made out of sunshine and rainbows, my brain a pink-grey gooey mass, me with a shoehorn, lovingly molding it inside and sealing it in with glass, my brain pressed against it like a child's face against a car window, staring out at the universe with wonder. I guess I should squish my eyes in there too then. It's OK, they're very close.

Wishing everyone happiness.