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Saturday, February 23, 2019

Warning: Perspective from your eyeballs may vary!

Me: Huh... Captain Marvel looks kind of average fare, but what the hell, Marvel usually delivers. Maybe I'll see it if Mandy really wants to, but movie theaters are so ridiculously expensive these days. Best of luck, though. I just hope she's not planned to be a Goddess-level deus-ex-machina savior of the Avengers in Endgame. After the awesomeness of Infinity War, that would be a total cop-out.

Brie Larson: "I started paying attention to... the critics reviewing movies, and noticed it appeared to be overwhelmingly white male... I don’t need a 40-year-old white dude to tell me what didn’t work about A Wrinkle in Time, it wasn’t made for him!"

Me: ...Oh jeez, are you seriously going to go down this road? Come on, Disney, you know better than that. Let's not fabricate hate where none exists. I frequent a few dens of online iniquity that some people would probably knee-jerk label as "sexist" or worse, and honestly, almost all of the guys there just have the same "wait and see" attitude right now. Everyone loves Marvel because they keep their movies fun. Remember when movie hype used to try and make people feel good about their films instead of trying to piss them off? SJW politics ruin everything they touch, so let's just all keep feeling good about the Marvel universe, please?

Media: SHOTS FIRED! POOR "ALPHA" FWAGILE MASCUWINITY INCELS CAN'T HANDLE A STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER IN THEIR SUPERJOCK FILMS!

Me: Oh, by the hairy armpits of Vishnu... Men have absolutely no problem with female lead characters in the sci-fi/fantasy/horror world, as long as it's well written and isn't deliberately misandrist. Wonder Woman beat you to the punch, and most men didn't have any problem with that. Lots of men consider Rogue One to be the best Star Wars film after the original trilogy. Bumblebee was pretty well accepted. Hellraiser, Halloween, there's a new film called Alita that looks pretty cool, Game of Thrones when it followed the books... hell, men on the whole have been rabid fans of Alien for 40 years. No one has ever had an issue with Princess Leia (even though Disney is putting out Star Wars revisionist cartoons that shit on Luke to try and make her look even better by comparison, but that's another kvetch...) In fact, a lot of us men over forty read and loved A Wrinkle in Time back before Brie Larson was even born - though she has regally decreed that by virtue of our skin color and evil dangley bits, it wasn't written "for us." So why the false narrative? Why are you deliberately trying to piss off your core fans? This is why Marvel's comic book division is suffering -

Media: THIS JUST IN! MISOGYNISTIC COMMENTS FESTERING ON 4-CHAN AND YOUTUBE!

Me: Sigh... Of course you're going to find examples of adolescent trolls on the internet, but they're an extremely tiny percentage of the whole. There's lots of misandrist comments out there too, the difference is, they're socially acceptable. Honestly, what did you expect? You're deliberately farming for outrage, and most of what you're referring to is the inevitable backlash from men sick of being accused and insulted, and shamed into silence just for saying so. This is the same garbage that's tarnished Star Wars and tanked Ghostubsters 2016. I don't know why -

Media: TRUMP-SUPPORTING NECKBEARDS ARE REVIEW-BOMBING ROTTEN TOMATOES!!!

Me: Sigh. Come on, you know that's an outright lie. You CAN'T put reviews on Rotten Tomatoes for it now. You're talking about people commenting that they personally won't see it. That's not a review. I can't say I blame them after the way you're -

Media: ALT-RIGHT, INCEL MISOGYNISTS BOYCOTT CAPTAIN MARVEL! FWAGILE MASCULINITY AT ITS MOST EVIL! IT'S TIME TO BRING DOWN THE PATRIARCHY THAT DOESN'T WANT YOUR DAUGHTERS TO HAVE SUPERHERO FILMS OF THEIR OWN! WHY MUST THEY DO THIS? WHAT ARE SO MANY ALT-RIGHT, WHITE MEN AFRAID OF???????

Me: You know what? You win. I don't even care about Brie Larson's slightly prejudiced virtue signalling. It was a stupid move, but it wasn't even that big a deal - just Hollyweird being Hollyweird. But you've basically ruined any good will I had towards this film, and I refuse to be bullied into seeing it. I have no desire to give Disney any money for it now, and because of your misandrist bullshit, I might even wait until Endgame comes out on streaming instead of shelling out big bucks in the theater. My wallet and I bid you good day.

Media: NO, WAIT!... It's all Brie's fault, right? She kind of sortta says she didn't mean anything by it... maybe. Come on, don't be like that. Give Disney another chance you fragile, privILEGED, WHITE, MISOGI- (cough) I mean, wait...

TTFN-
Tony

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