Friday, March 16, 2018

An Open Letter to Rush Limbaugh

Dear Rush (may I call you Rush?)

The great late physicist Stephen Hawking didn't come up with the Big Bang scientific theory, it's what's generally accepted because it's the theory that best proves the evidence. That's the way science works.

(Keep in mind, this theory does not prove that "nothing" existed before, just that it's what scientists call an Event Horizon - which means that nothing that happened before it can be modeled with current knowledge, nor could it have any predictable effect on what came afterward. Think of it as information written on a piece of paper. If you burn it you'll have a handful of carbon that might show you what it was previously made of, but it would be impossible to know what it said. Likewise, as no one else can ever read it, neither the present nor the future can ever be affected by it.)

For example, without any other evidence, humans thought. "The world must be flat." But soon proof (ships appearing mast first over the horizon) accumulated, and the theory that the world was round developed.

Then we thought that the Earth was the center of the universe, because the bible said so, and to the naked eye, it appeared logical. But then the telescope came along, and the paths of heavenly bodies were mapped. The only way the new data made any sense was to accept the theory that everything, even our planet, moves in orbits.

Likewise, all the scientific data we have points to the universe expanding into existence from a single point - AKA The Big Bang theory. Now, no one can prove this beyond a shadow of a doubt for obvious reasons. But until there is evidence that disproves it, it is the most accepted scientific theory (which, by need of evidence and repeatable experimentation, is different than a regular theory.)

Interestingly enough, we've discovered that recently, that expansion has begun to accelerate instead of slowing, as would make sense. But instead of saying "nope, we're ignoring that because it disproves our theory" scientists accept it (Dark Energy), and are trying to discover why. If this leads to a new, more accurate model, then it will be generally accepted. That's how science works.

Keep in mind, there is nothing about the Big Bang theory (which was put forth by a priest) or even evolution which suggests that there isn't a God, just that it happened differently than a bunch of goat herders thousands of years ago said it did. The religious world had to eventually accept that the Earth goes around the sun despite what's written in Genesis, so why couldn't it be wrong about other things? Agreeing with an atheist on matters of science doesn't make you one. There are many scientists throughout the world who practice religion.

I'll leave you with this thought. If God created man to do his work, then wouldn't he want man to find out all he could about how his creation really works to do so?


P.S. This discussion is redundant, as everyone knows that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the world, along with the great Beer Volcano and the Olive Garden of Eden.

May you all be touched by His Noodley Appendage.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Coming Soon, to a Kindle Near You!

Often, when I'm working on a story, I'll doodle the characters to help get a sense of them. The cover sketch, however, takes a little more work.

Coming soon!


Wednesday, March 07, 2018

It CAN'T be worse than the TV movie

Despite the bad reviews and cheesy dialogue in the trailer, I still want to give A Wrinkle in Time a chance. Sadly, Mandy says it looks too scary for her, so I'll probably wait for Netflix.


Tuesday, March 06, 2018

Let No Ruffle Go Unfeathered

I've seen a lot of IPs that I grew up with go through major changes in recent years - some of them deliberately baiting and trying to cause division (see below) - and my question is this:

Instead of buying or inheriting a property and making wide-swept changes, why not just make something new?

If creators have an idea, theme, ideology etc. that they wish to express, why do they have to hijack classic, beloved characters to do it? Why not create something new of their own? If it's good, it will stand up on its own. The latest formula seems to be "Hijack existing IP, then spew preemptive, generalized accusations at anyone who doesn't like our changes."

Here's a Muppet News Flash: No one is obligated to like anything.

If the answer is "because an existing fanbase means money in the bank" then when they shit all over that existing fanbase, they deserve all the criticism they get.

Speaking of untrue adaptations, I've finally gotten around to reading Don Quixote (a modern translation, not the 400 year old original Spanish version, obviously.) He's a bit of a dick compared to the Peter O'Toole cinematic version. But I guess when you adapt a book that's about 1000 pages long, you have to change a few things. I can't wait until Terry Gilliam's The Man Who Killed Don Quixote (starring Jonathan Pryce) is finally released. Gilliam is a god. He's allowed to change anything he wants.

Yes, I'm a proud hypocrite.


Monday, March 05, 2018

Black Mirror Rating Request

While it's all still very well written and great science fiction, I wish the Netflix produced episodes of Black Mirror (seasons three and four) came with a sort of emoji rating. That way those of us who loved the original British series for its dark, sick and twisted dystopian Twilight Zone tone can know which of the new feel-good, wider-audience episodes to skip.


Friday, March 02, 2018

Giant Squids Have Feelings Too!

Okay, here's something that always bugged me about the otherwise awesome "Key to Time" miniseries on Doctor Who. The Doctor and Romana practically cream in their jeans over the injustice of trapping princess Astra, but they didn't give two shits that the same fate awaits Kroll, the giant squid. Maybe he had friends and family, squid hopes and squid dreams, he had every right to live his giant squid life as Astra did. But since he wasn't a pretty blonde, no one - not even the Doctor - cared.

But then again, Tom Baker wasn't planning to marry the actress.


Thursday, March 01, 2018

Dream Journal Entry 3.14159265...

A few nights ago, I dreamed that my paternal grandfather was still alive, and that he was driving my father's old, black, late 60s Buick. It broke down half-submerged in water, and I had to fix it underwater. I needed a snorkel, but for some reason mine was broken. I went from store to store and shop to shop trying to buy a new one, but they were all broken, or didn't work.

Keep in mind that IRL I do not own a snorkel, nor do I know doodlysquat about car repair.

So now Trump wants to do away with due process for gun owners who might be a problem. Yeah, I'm all for sane reform, but doing away with the constitution isn't the answer.

I've decided to work on a few short stories before I gear up for another novel. It never ceases to amaze me how sometimes the story or characters take on a life of their own, and things go off in their own direction. While I try to leave things alone at times to let the creative juices simmer, this does illuminate the importance of writing every day. My brain is much more in a creative zone when I'm actually being creative.


Tuesday, February 27, 2018


In the old days, I would have just ran to this blog, and stated my feelings about things like school shootings and Star Wars films (not that they're related) but lately, with everything so polarized and so much vitriol between anyone who dares to disagree with anyone else, I fell like the fun has been taken out of it. Because saying "I'm above it all" is just another kind of virtue signalling.

I mean, I feel a deep and terrible sadness for the victims, for their families, and for the surviving kids. I feel sad and angry when I see people on one side claiming that it's a hoax, and that these kids who suffered so much and had their lives changed forever are just actors. I feel sad and angry when I see people on the other side spewing accusations against anyone who believes in their second amendment rights, or who dared to vote for a president they don't like. I feel sad and angry whenever I see the phrase "Toxic Masculinity" rear its head (yay, let's teach our boys that their gender is inherently evil. Can't cause any psychological harm doing that...) The list goes on and on.

So does it matter if I say "I believe in the right to own a weapon and protecting all of the constitution, but the assault weapon ban needs to be reinstated?" Does it matter if I say "Generalized accusations on either side just makes everything worse?" (I know, I know, it's Russian Trolls, all the way down.) Does it matter if I think the NRA needs to get their heads out of their asses, but goddamn - the deputy who was supposed to be protecting the kids ran and hid, the FBI was warned about this monster and did nothing, the cops were warned about him and did nothing... It's not a whataboutism to point out that the government failed at every possible level.

Does it matter if I feel that people on both sides of the issue are, for the most part, decent human beings?

Probably not.

Be decent to each other. You don't have to be excellent, just decent.


PS. The Last Jedi sucked.

Monday, February 05, 2018

At least it wasn't Tom Brady.

Last night I dreamt I was walking down my parents' street in the middle of a moonlit night. I saw a singing, ghostly apparition with the most beautiful voice I'd ever heard. It was Judy Collins.

She then sang me questions about my books, and demanded that I answer in song.

Please feel free to interpret.


Thursday, January 11, 2018

School Basement Antiquities

Check out these antiques I found in a school basement in Brooklyn - the likes of which our children shall never know!


Sunday, December 10, 2017

And the lazy writer cast his pestilence upon the internet and cried "IT IS DONE"

After over two years, I've finally updated my website, and the sad realization hits me that it's been far too long since I've made any art.

Check it out:


Friday, December 08, 2017

The Internet is Standing By!

I'm going to be a guest on tonight's episode of The Speculative Fiction Cantina. The show starts at 6PM EST, and there will be a Q&A period, so be sure to call in!


Saturday, December 02, 2017

Continuing the Titanic Debate...

I'm pretty sure that I've brought up this thought experiment at some point over the years, but let us assume for the sake of discussion that there is an afterlife.

Let us also assume that we live in a multiverse of infinite possibilities, and each decision forks a different timeline.

What happens to these infinite selves when we die? Are their souls spread out amongst the living, until the most living version of our self dies? Do these conglomerate souls accumulate in the afterlife, and we join them when we die until we are whole? Or does each one get a separate afterlife in an infinity of choices?

If the last is true, then are the infinite afterlives as septate as in "real" life, or can they all be explored, observed, and experienced?

What if Rose actually did commit suicide, and everything after that point was a hypothermic hallucination until her death?

Even better: What if Jack really pushed her in at that point, got a sex change, stole her identity, and the rest of the stupid movie was all a psychotic fantasy that he was telling to his (adopted) granddaughter?



Friday, December 01, 2017

I'm going to be a guest again on next week's (12/08/17) episode of The Speculative Fiction Cantina. The show starts at 6PM EST, and there will be a Q&A period, so be sure to call in!


Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Topicality is topical.

I can't believe people are still going on about Titanic and the whole "how big was the door" controversy. It's as if they think James Cameron really really wanted to save Jack, but just couldn't think of any way to do it. It's like the in-depth scientific analysis of the Stormtroopers in Star Wars, and how their blasters don't really shoot lasers. They're not really bad shots, it's just that the stars of the films had extremely heavy Plot Armor.

So everyone everywhere seems to be sexually harassing everyone else. And yet, Kermit the Frog never complained about Jim Henson fondling his green tuchus for over thirty years.

I can't believe Net Neutrality is back under fire. I've said this before, but to fellow fans of Objectivism: The ISPs want you to believe that they're Dagny's vision of Taggart Transcontinental or Rearden Steel, but that's a lie. The internet is not something new that they built from the ground up with their own money and the labors of their minds, it's something they've found a way to gatekeep through acquisition. With all of their lobbying, government subsidies, and strangulation of competition, they're much more Jim Taggart and Associated Steel.

Everyone have a fun Thursday and Friday. May your leftovers finally be finished.


Wednesday, November 15, 2017

So that's what 513 pages looks like...

The paperback of The Forgotten Cathedral is now available on Amazon. It should take a few days for it to combine with the Kindle page.

In the meantime, it's time for a toast!


Friday, November 10, 2017

Because $2.99 is just too outrageous a price...

When you planned to spend your day designing a paperback, but you have to spend time filling out DMCA forms instead. (Urge to rip the lungs out of some worthless __________ while they watch seriously rising)

EDIT - And yea, it has been removed. Go Go Gadget DMCA Takedown! 


Tuesday, November 07, 2017

The Forgotten Cathedral is now available.

It's only about nine months later than I had planned, but Debris of Shadows Book II: The Forgotten Cathedral has finally been released for kindle. (If you don't have a kindle, the app is free for smartphones and tablets.) A paperback version should be available within the next few weeks, as it takes a little more time.

Thank you to all my friends and family - especially those of you who emailed me now and then and asked when it was coming, because you wanted to know what happened next. I can't tell you how much those words of kindness kept me going.

A special shout-out to my friends Masha and Waldo for your help with Russian and Spanish words and phrases (respectively.) Any mistakes or mistranslations are purely mine.

This is the longest thing I've written to date (134+k words, or about 530 pages) so I'm happy that apart from a few promotional things (updating my website, getting the paperback together, adding it to Goodreads, annoying my friends with a new Facebook page to like, etc.) it's finally done. I can finally enjoy life, binge Stranger Things and Black Mirror, catch up on other people's books - especially those written by my friends, get a haircut, play games on the phone on the bus instead of editing on my way to work, or even take a nap!

A final note, this is the middle of a three-part serial, so while I've tried to make it so reading The Lies of the Sage is not required, it is, of course, recommended. And yes, there will be a concluding part three. Unless HBO wants to make a series first...

Thank you again, my friends, I hope you enjoy.


Sunday, October 29, 2017

T-10 (for Kindle) and counting...

My Cute, Little, Sainted, Sicilian Mother: What is it with you and bugs? Your next book isn't going to be full of disgusting bugs again, is it?

Me: Well, it IS a sequel...

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Pre-Birthday Tease

I'll be forty-five in a few weeks. I feel like the father in Something Wicked This Way Comes, and Mr. Dark (played by Jonathan Pryce) is tearing the book of my youth away, page by page.

Okay, that sounds a bit dramatic.

I was thinking about what I wanted for my birthday. See, that's part of what's not fun about being an adult. If I want something, I can just get it. But birthdays are excuses for big things. I've actually burned out my birthday present on Weird Al & Emo Philips tickets for Joe and myself in spring. (Jesus H. Tap Dancing Christ, tickets to his upcoming show at the Apollo cost 4x as much as they did for the one in Town Hall in Morristown last year. I know that it's the Apollo, but sheesh!) But I can also have a little special something...

At first I was thinking of the new South Park game, The Fractured But Whole. I loved The Stick of Truth, but goddamn, $60 + $30 season pass is ridiculous for a game that - by all accounts - is only about 10 hours long. Also, first day DLC pisses me off.

And lets be honest, the writing on South Park has sucked more and more every year to the point that it's barley watchable anymore.

Where's My Fortune Cookie by Phil Proctor of The Firesign Theatre sounds like a definite win. He actually showed me a proof of it when we met a few months back. It's sort of his autobiography, and filled with Firesign anecdotes. But on top of that, I have another nice little present planned for myself. 

Let's put it this way. If you enjoyed Debris of Shadows Book I: The Lies of the Sage and wanted to reread it so that it would be fresh in your mind before you read Book II... then this is the time.


Monday, October 09, 2017

Insert Sarcasm Where Necessary

For those who accused me of misogyny just because I didn't support Hillary Clinton, I apologize. If only I had been more like Harvey Weinstein...


Thursday, September 07, 2017

And Even More Shallow Thoughts

There are things in life I simply can't comprehend. Like people who deliberately make their lives as difficult as possible. I say I can't comprehend it, but I've been guilty of it. In many ways I still am.

Then I wonder, if there is a god, FSM, or Head of Lettuce Named Ralph, then is that the way He actually wants things to be? Is God nothing more than that bright blob of 1960s FX energy from Star Trek that fed off of negative emotions?

That's the problem with religion. Once you start looking at the state of the world and asking logical questions about motivations, you come up empty handed. Actually, that's not entirely true. Robert Anton Wilson once said that if you can't understand someone's behavior, just remember that they're a primate at heart.

It makes me think of The Godfather (novel) when the Godfather explains to Michael about Luca Brasi - that as you go through life, you meet men who are crying out for others to kill them. The trick is to make yourself the one person they're afraid of doing it. Handy information, if you ever want a psychopath hatchet man.

Or you could go for the Kurt Vonnegut perspective - that most people are motivated by loneliness. I always liked his view that his job as an author was to help people see that they were not alone.

Or how about the book God Wants You Dead, which sheds light on the fact that humans love love love subscribing to ideologies - be they religions, political parties, sports teams, NuWho vs. Classic Dr Who.... The internet has fed so much confirmation bias and provided so many strawmen that these days, it's impossible to tell the difference between politics and fundamentalist religions.

I forget who said it (possibly Wilson again) but you can't talk someone logically out of a decision that they've made emotionally.

Sigh... time to get ready for work.


Saturday, August 26, 2017

Time keeps slipping...

Wow, where has the time gone? The final proofread of my final draft is 50% complete. My day job, out in Far Rockaway, has just been too draining to focus on the real work.

I know I'm always apologizing for the lack of posts in recent years, but I feel like there's nothing left to talk about, at least nothing that really needs talking about. How often can I bitch about work, or talk about what movies I've seen or games I've played? I've given up on making any kind of social or political commentary - I just don't have the energy to deal with it anymore.

Maybe that's my thing to bitch about? Nah. Nihilism only goes so far, unless you're really, really creative about it, ala Rick and Morty.

I'm actually shaving with an electric razor while I write this. I'm not sure why, perhaps its compulsion? There seems to be two defining factors in my life - body fat and facial hair. The rest was just circumstance.

Sigh... I'll just make one social commentary. I can't help myself.

Folks, we're living in the most peaceful era in human history. Hate groups (ALL hate groups) only make up a teeny, tiny percentage of the population. Stop letting the media act like the sky is falling, just so they can drive us apart to sell more ad space. So unless these pieces of  shit physically harm others or try to change the law, ignore them. Stop giving them attention. Stop giving a free pass to some while damning others, because you're only going to make the ones you selectively damn feel justified in their evil bullshit. If you hate hate, then don't give it a voice, and don't justify it in any form.

Here endeth the commentary.


Sunday, June 25, 2017

Almost at the end of June

Hello there. Sorry I haven't written in a while. Life has been full of ups and downs, ins and outs, but nothing major. Just life.

For those waiting on Debris of Shadows Book II, all I can say is that it's coming, slowly but surely. I had planned to have it released by now, but editing, rewriting, and proofreading is an arduous task. I'm determined to put out a professional novel, and that takes time.

When I finished the first draft a year ago, it rang in at 95k words. For comparison, The Lies of the Sage was 81k. As I edited the second draft, the plot and characters became more and more complex. It came to be roughly 133k, which is nearly one and a half times longer than the first draft. Think roughly 530 pages. Nowhere near The Stand, but still pretty substantial.

So, at the moment, I'm about 33% done with my third and final polish-draft. I'd like to say this should be the final edit, with perhaps one or two passes afterwards just to be sure all my i's are crossed, and all my t's are dotted. I'd love to say this shouldn't take more than another month or two, but working full time, especially in the far-flung corners of the empire, can be pretty draining of my brain power.

At any rate, thank you all for your support, especially those friends and family who have left Amazon and Goodreads reviews for my other novels, and ask regularly when it will be done. You keep me going.

My daughter graduated Middle School last week. Time slips way too quickly into the future. Always proud of her and her brother, and all they do.

In completely different news, I've been a fan of the Firesign Theatre ever since I was about sixteen. A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of sharing a drink with one of its two surviving members, Phil Proctor. It's a rare opportunity to get to talk and spend time with someone whose work I've admired and respected for so many years, I'm glad I had it.


Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Another day in the month of May

It's May, but it feels like April. That's okay, I like it cool. I feel like I'm different people these days. There is one of me who laughs at everything, one who is angry at everything, one who wants my life to be better, one who wants to sleep. I feel fractured. I'm sure it will pass. And then come back.

The most honorable Papasan turned eighty-five last week,. He's three years older than Señor Grandpagoni was when he passed away. I'm going to be forty-five this year.

My life seems to go in stages. Sometimes it feels like it's in a holding pattern. Sometimes it feels like it's out of control. I find myself not caring about things I used to, and interested by new things.

I'm still a gentleman of leisure, despite temporary jobs. That should last for another month or so, I'm guessing. I try to go out with friends when I can. We drink and talk about our lives, how everyone is becoming more and more divided.

I'm taking my sainted mother to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2 tomorrow, down in Bridgewater. AMC has taken the whole fun concept of a cinema drafthouse and turned it into something expensive. I used to love going to the one in Arlington when I was stationed there, a lifetime ago. I got to see Heavy Metal and Yellow Submarine there. I can always pop them into the DVD player, but it's not the same as meeting a bunch of new people at midnight because we're all weird and like the same old animated films.

I hear Howard the Duck makes another Cameo.

I try to ignore politics these days, even though I can't help but find them entertaining. Comey is the good guy, Comey is the bad guy, Comey is the good guy again. So it goes. I just got sick and angry at everyone turning against each other because they didn't worship the same gods or goddesses, but I don't think I helped at all, just made things worse. Oh well. I can't seem to escape religion.

They made a TV series out of Neil Gaiman's American Gods, which is cool, but they're stretching it out to three-plus years, which I'm not happy about. One season would have been more than enough. I like it, but the pacing is way too slow. Thumbs up to Gillian Anderson as Lucille Ball (the Goddess of Media), Orlando Jones as Anansi, and the incomparable Cloris Leachman as whatever ancient Slavic goddess she's supposed to be. The woman is over 90, that's awesome that she's still working.


Anyway, my daughter's class is singing "Walking on Sunshine" at their Middle School graduation, and I promised I'd play the video for her, over and over.

I hope you had a special day.



Friday, May 05, 2017

He's Quagmire, Quagmire...

All partisanship aside, could it be that the real problem is that the cost health care in the U.S. has skyrocketed beyond that of any other first world nation, and until that problem is fixed, any attempts to regulate who is going to pay for those astronomical costs are always going to sink to an us vs. them quagmire? Could that quagmire be the distraction goal of the powers that be, so the real problem never gets addressed? Please (kindly and respectfully) discuss.


Thursday, April 27, 2017

Life rolls on

I just finished working at the NYC International Car Show. It's a temporary electrician's job the Union usually gives to guys who are out of work. Lots of putting cables and lights up, or putting video walls together, then taking them down again.

The most honorable papasan turns 85 tomorrow. I wonder if I'll live that long, where I'll be, and what I'll be doing. I keep imagining amazing technological, biological, and medical advancements, but then reality kicks in, and I wonder how many of their researches will be squashed for non-profitability.

This may not be an original thought, but I wonder lately if humans have emotional thermostats. That's why some people can't be happy or satisfied no matter where they are or what they're doing, or sabotage any hope of success, their friendships or romances, or any attempts at improving their life. Their brains think they are supposed to be exactly where they are, and will do anything to stay there. So who or what gets to set the temperature? Discuss.

At any rate, wishing the best to all. Take care, my friends.


Friday, April 07, 2017


Once upon a time when I was about 23, I worked at the S'barros on Hilton Head Island. One day, a little old man came in and bought a few slices. I said he looked familiar, and he mumbled something under his breath. As soon as he walked away, it hit me.

"Enjoy your pizza, Mister Rickles," I said.

He turned around, walked back to me, and crooked his finger. I leaned in, and he leaned over the counter, his nose an inch from my face. He looked me up and down, and asked, "How the f**k old ARE you, kid?"

Rest in peace, sir.


Monday, April 03, 2017

The American Dream is Having Growing Pains

When you try and create something, there is always that period when you ask yourself, "What am I slaving away like this for? Why am I bothering? No one is going to read/see/hear it, no one is going to care."

Well, maybe people will, and maybe they won't. The truth is, there's nothing you can do about it. Don't let it upset you. Don't let it feed your depression, because it will. There's a reason AA uses the prayer "Let me change what I can AND IGNORE WHAT I CAN'T and give me the wisdom to hide the bodies where no one will find them." Because worrying about things or people that you can't change, no matter how unjust it seems, is an emotional black hole that will carve you away from the inside.

Just make your art, my friends. Make it the best you can. Just try to find intrinsic joy in the making, and then, when you're done, move on to the next one. No, you may not be successful, or recognized for your hard work. Yes, you may crash and burn. Yes, you may get shitty reviews, or be completely ignored and get no reviews at all. But you know what? You can't care about that. All you can do is the absolute best you can, and put it out there. Success is not guaranteed, but failure is if you don't even try.

Good luck, my friends, in all that you do.

TTFN -Tony
t - 12,603

Saturday, April 01, 2017


Based on J.J. Abrams’ completely original script for The Force Awakens, here is the scientifically extrapolated plot for the next Star Wars film. WARNING – SPOILERS BELOW!

The Alliance camps out on an Ice Planet that is totally NOT Hoth. Darth Emo sends some AT-ATs to attack their base. Finn manages to slice one open and stick a grenade inside, giving everyone else time to escape.

Luke Skywalker takes Rey to the jungles of his hideaway planet so he can properly train her in the ways of the Schwartz. However, it turns out that she’s such a natural, she does not need any training, nor does she need to learn any discipline, or have any personal growth. She’s just too darn good.

Darth Emo decides to send some bounty hunters after Finn and Poe, including the last of Jango Fett’s clones, YubbaDubba Fett. After a nifty escape in an asteroid field (where the good guys evade a giant space slug that is not – we repeat – NOT a worm) they fly to a city in the clouds. One of them remarks that the planet it hovers over is so not Bespin. Darth Emo captures them at dinner, and proceeds to torture them.

Rey has visions of her friends’ plight, and wants to rescue them. Luke tells her sure, go ahead, she’s already practically perfect in every way. The ghost of Han Solo appears, and confirms that yeah, she’s awesome.

Rey goes to the cloud city and winds up having a fight with Darth Emo. In the fight, he tells her that he is actually her cousin. She screams that no, it’s not true, it’s impossible - and chops off his hand.

Oh yeah, and someone gets frozen in carbonite.