Please Explain it to Me

As someone who bought a copy of Blue Oyster Cult's Agents of Fortune, when he was 12, and a fan of SNL in the 70's and 80's back when... well, we don't need to get into it - you know. Anyway, as someone who enjoys comedy and classic rock, I have one question, a question that I really would like answered before I die:

What the hell is up with the cowbell sketch?

Honestly. I just don't see how the fact that there's a cowbell in "Don't Fear the Reaper" warrants a five minute sketch, much less one that many consider a "classic." So many people think this is hysterical, and I just don't get it.

Please, please, will someone explain it to me?

TTFN
-Tony

Miomarmo - That's a Spicy Meataball!

I can't claim that I've ever been a crusader for anything, including the environment. I've often taken George Carlin's stance on such issues: "The planet is fine. The people are fucked!" My feeling has been that regardless of whether pollution has caused global warming or not, it just can't be a good thing to poison the air we breathe, the water we drink, and the food we eat. (Of course, you can always take the stance that since humans are members of the animal kingdom and creatures of nature, everything we create is as natural as a beaver's dam, but I'm sure some would disagree.)

Environmentalism has sadly become just another ism. There are those who cannot differentiate between different parts of an ideology or look at all sides of the picture rationally. Others just use pet causes for popularity or celebrity status. The worst problem with the environmental cause is that it's become one of those polarizing political issues: Democrats are for some reason automatically seen as "for" the environment, and Republicans "against." I think it has something to do with Al Gore.

Anyhoo, over the years, I've been able to separate the people who just like crusading and protesting for causes because it makes them feel special from those who actually care about things and try to make a difference. The labors of the latter (like Elena, for example,) can be found at Miomarmo, a new website dedicated to... well... they put it better than I ever could:

The World We Live In
We live in a world beset with enormous challenges in every category of human endeavor. The struggle for peace, prosperity, and liberty has taken on a desperate, shrill edge. Although daily news reports of atrocities and catastrophic trends in our weather and atmosphere are older than the Dead Sea Scrolls, our progress toward self destruction is clearly accelerating at a rate that only 100 years ago seemed inconceivable to all but the most profoundly radical thinkers. Wells, Einstein, Thoreau, Huxley and the like foresaw vast social and environmental collapse brought on by fast changing technology and human population growth. They painted harrowing pictures of unchecked and unsustainable exploitation of the planet. But they were dismissed by practical minded men as eccentric philosophers and purveyors of science fiction. In the hubbub of everyday life, our planet seemed an inexhaustibly renewable source of human consumables. And, only 100 years ago, common sense seemed to dictate that the Earth’s bounty was indeed inexhaustible and endlessly renewable.

But times are changing and today’s voices are resonating more distinctly and effectively. Rachel Carson, Al Gore, Edward Wilson, and the like, clear-eyed observations that the Earth is showing undeniable signs of exhaustion. At the same time, man’s inhumanity to man is fueled by rampant economies driven by cheap labor and a culture of violent politics that prize weapons whose killing efficiency over matches debate and compromise. Voices of peace and reason rise, and then are struck down by ruthless opponents. Animals, land, and vegetation are plundered with a reckless, efficient pursuit of excess and wasteful consumption. There are many, many places in the world and hundreds of millions of people who have never known the feeling of a bountiful and safe Earth. Animal and plant populations, both domestic and wild, are wiped out or consumed with horrific efficiency to attain objectives of comparatively little value. Forests are cleared, oceans stripped of life, and toxins dumped into the food chain from multiple sources.

Not a pretty picture. Yet we believe humanity and life on Earth will abide. As science and common sense come together to point to clear priorities for human conduct in the years ahead, many of us hearken to voices of the past as well as emerging voices of our time for guidance on practical modes of living. We are coming to understand that the single act of conservation or kindness repeated over and over can be part of a global pattern of such acts and persons. MioMarmo is a place for where we come together to share insights, advice, experiences, resources and paths to practical action for improving all life on Earth by improving our own lives.

Eloquent, no? So head on over, not just today, but every day, because there's always something new and insightful to read. But there's a much more important reason you should go there: Every time you do, you'll be put at ease by the soothing and adorable marble I made for the logo:

So you see? There's something there for everyone.

TTFN
-Tony

Anti-Smoking Terrormercials & You

Joe woke us up this morning with this question: "Mommy, did you ever smoke?"

"No," Jen said. I elbowed her in the ribs and made a loud coughing noise. "Ok, yes," she admitted, "but not since long before you were born."

"Why do you ask?" I asked. (I've explained to the boy that yes, once upon a time, I've puffed a few Marlboros as well.)

"No reason," he said, shrugging.

It hit Jen. "Wait a minute," she said, "is this because of those commercials where the lady has her fingertips cut off because of smoking?" (For those who don't know, Jen's fingers are different sizes because of a birth defect.)

"...Yeah," Joe admitted.

"Haven't I explained to you before that I was born that way?"

"I know."

"So why are you asking?"

"I don't know..."

Now, I know smoking is bad, and kids should learn not to do it, etcetera. Such education started when I was a kid in the 70s. It didn't work, because by the time were were teenagers, we had done most of the stuff they had been telling us non-stop not to do. When I was a kid, I would go so far as to replace my grandfather's cigarettes with little rolled up pieces of paper that said "Please stop smoking, I love you." Part of this was because of my father. He had smoked, once upon a time, and hated the habit with a passion. I was much more afraid of what my father would do to me if he caught me smoking than I was of any health risks. However, by the time I was 14, I was bumming smokes off my friend's older brother. (I admit I didn't actually inhale until I was 18.) While there was never any of the "peer pressure" that ABC After-School Specials blamed everything on , the fact that the cool kids did it was enough. Part of the problem was Antioch. Antioch was a Catholic youth group, where a lot of smoking went on in the parking lot. No one really cared that much. Hell, in our High School we had a smoking lounge, much to the chagrin of the lady who would come on Smokeout Day to show us all pictures of rotted lungs.

I rarely smoke anymore, due to the bar ban, as I'd never do it in the apartment or around the kids. The only time I would really smoke as an adult was when I was having a beer. I never had a pack a day habit, or even a pack a week habit. I'd go through a pack in a month, which would mean the cigarettes would be stale before I reached the end of the pack. I think all these bans have less to do with actually caring about public health and more with skyrocketing health-care and insurance costs.

So, what's my problem? I just think that as with almost every issue, terrormercials are not the answer, and are more misleading than anything. For example, Buerger's Disease (which is what the amputated lady in the Anti-smoking ad in question suffers from) affects 6 in 10,000. That's right, it's rare. Apart from grossing people out, I doubt if such shock tactics have had any real effect on anyone's behavior. Instead of trying to terrorize your kids, try actually talking to them, being honest, fessing up about your past mistakes, and yes, admit that while it's a horrible habit with health consequences, one cigarette isn't the end of the world.

Although it's about pot and not cigarettes, I'd suggest everyone to watch the South Park episode, "My Future Self 'n' Me." (free online!) They do the subject of over-the-top scare tactics much more justice than I could.

TTFN
-Tony

Do the Electric Slide

Illustration Friday: Electricity

(Click on the above picture for high-detail. Go on, you know you want to.)
This little steampunk fellow seems to have discovered a new power source along the cobblestone road, and he's quite happy about it. He started out as a sketch at the bottom of directions Jen had scribbled down:

Converting sketches to 3d is fun. I tried adding a few more details, like some hoses and an access hatch, but it just didn't look right. Being an electrician I decided to do something educational as well. If you ever wondered just how two (or more) switches can control one light, here's a 3-way switch diagram:

(To add more, you would need to put 4-way switches in between the travelers. I was going to draw one, but I didn't want to get too complicated.) Right now, the light is on. Change either one of the switches (pivoting from the center dot) and the light goes off. Change either one again, and it goes on. Ingenious, no?

What am I doing up at this ungodly hour, I hear you cry. I have some miserable chest congestion that I can't get rid of and I can't sleep. I've taken all kinds of expectorants to no avail, including something ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING called "Buckley's Chest Congestion Mixture." Not only is this the most foul thing I have ever tasted, I'm still sputtering and hacking and nothing's coming up. Thanks a lot, Buckley. With all the noise I'm making, my neighbors are probably taking measures to have me condemned.

In other news, after two years, Disco Daleks has been yanked by YouTube for it's use of the YMCA song. Sigh. From what I've been reading online, such use technically does fall under those murky waters called "fair use." However, YouTube is not going to get sued on my account, so I'll just let it go. Mabye I'll put some generic synthesizer disco music to it and re-post, but I doubt it; it just wouldn't be the same.

TTFN
-Tony

Why are Blue-Collars Supposedly for Hillary?

I'm a Local 3 IBEW member living in New York City. I've been unemployed for the last five months - which, sadly, is par for a NYC A-rated electrician ever since the dot-com bubble broke back in 2000. So, as a confused dues-paying union member, I'm begging - will someone PLEASE explain to me why the media keeps insisting that Hillary Clinton is the savior of the blue-collar workers? No, we can't lay all of our problems at her feet (or at the Republicans', for that matter.) But please, will someone tell me ONE DAMN THING she has done for labor since she took office eight years ago? How in any meaningful way has she helped blue-collar workers - especially those in the state she's supposed to represent? And no, speeches and spin don't count.

TTFN
-Tony

Ideologies Will Kill You

I've been reading one of the most fascinating books I've seen in years, titled God Wants You Dead. It's a study of ideologies, (ideas that take on a life of their own,) and how they control people as a queen ant controls her collective. (Did you know that ants and humans are the only species that actually fight each other to the death?) The controversial title refers to people who refuse medical treatment for religious reasons, or suicide bombers: if you think God would prefer you dead than alive for "His" cause, then by your logic...

The book goes on to explain that memes can be broken up into categories, including parasitic and symbiotic. Symbiotic ideas help you, enrich your life, and jive with your biological needs. Parasitic ideas are those that use people for their cause, and become more important than the well-being of the people who think them. This includes religion, nationalism, environmentalism, conservativism, liberalism - just about any "ism" you can think of.

A large part of the problem is when ideologies demand an all or nothing level of acceptance. The book suggests breaking every ideology down into its component ideas. A large example of this is the political parties our government is broken up into. If you're for a strong military but think we should leave Iraq, against illegal immigrants, for labor unions, support abortion rights, support the NRA, think taxes should be lowered, are against class-action lawsuits, against the patriot act, but for teaching creationism in the classroom - who do you vote for? You don't have a choice, you have to vote for one ideology or the other, neither of which truly represents your views.

Take a good look at the ideas that control your life. Of course, you will always have ideas in your brain. But if you find yourself getting angry when people's ideas don't jive with yours, find yourself unable to pick and choose which parts of a religion or political party you agree with, or find that there are no beneficial or logical reasons behind your ideologies, it might be time to change them.

TTFN
-Tony

"Today the pits, tomorow the wrinkles!"

Illustration Friday: Wrinkles


TTFN
-Tony

Remembering Rose

Sorry I haven't been on in a while - things have been a bit hectic over here.

Jen's grandmother passed on last week, at the age of 83. The cancer that started out as a small lump in her breast earlier this year spread throughout her body. She was loved and will be missed dearly.

It's rather hard on Joe as this is his first experience with death. I've tried to answer his questions as honestly as I can:

Q: Why do people die?
A: Because if they didn't, and people kept having babies, we would run out of space. Also, people would be so old their bodies wouldn't work right anymore. Who knows, by the time you're 80, they may have changed all that.

Q: What's it like after you die?
A: I don't know, I never died before.

Q: Why do they close your eyes when you die?
A: What would you care? All you would see is the inside of a box anyway. (This, of course, was NOT a good answer to tell a kid!)

Q: Is there a hell?
A: I don't think so. I don't think God created us to be alive for a little time just so he could torture us forever if we didn't do what certain people told us to.

Q: Why do souls go to heaven but not bodies?
A: It's probably like when you're dreaming. If you dream you're in school, you can talk to your friends and play, but your body is still in its bed.

Q: I wish Great Grandma was still here.
A: (thinking to myself: "Well, technically, she always has and always will occupy a time/space position, it's just that human brains perceive time as flowing in a single direction..." Spoken aloud:) "Yeah, me too."

Rest in peace, Rose. Wish you were still here.



TTFN
-Tony

Mortie the Gefilte Fish Plays Mario on a Pig!

Mortie the Gefilte Fish knows that to be an internet sensation, all you have to do is play the Super Mario Bros. theme. So, in his desperate bid for fame and fortune, here he is, playing it... on a pig. Enjoy! Be sure to tell all your friends, and make Mortie the internet sensation he dreams of becoming!



TTFN
-Tony

When All the World's Failings are My Fault...

Illustration Friday: Fail

No matter how hard he tried, Bob just couldn't hold himself together.

As the title says, there are no faults in the world, it's just me:

According to Elton John, it's not that Hillary Clinton is divisive, (even within her own party,) power hungry, fake, and hasn't done one damn thing for New York since she carpetbagged her way into the senate, it's that I'm a "misogynist."

According to Barbara Walters, the reason that I don't watch Katie Couric on CBS news is not because I live in the 21st century and want to read my news instantly online rather than wait on commercial television, it's that I'm "not ready for a woman."

It wasn't that the last episode of The Sopranos was a cop-out and lazy writing masquerading as art, it's that I "just don't get it."

It's not that illegal immigration has caused our cities to be overpopulated, creates a slave class that competes with minimum wage-working citizens, or drains a system that tax-payers have contributed to, it's that I'm a "racist."

It's not that history suggests that an early withdrawal from Iraq will cause another slaughter as it did at the end of Desert Storm or the Vietnam war, it's that I'm a "warmonger."

Feel free to add your own

TTFN
-Tony

Hong-Kong Phooey - #1 Superguy

Joe got his yellow belt in Jeet Kune Do on Friday. Yea Joe!


I'm not too sure about the yellow & red yin-yang. In every red there is a bit of yellow, it every yellow there is a bit of red... just doesn't have the same philosophical punch as light and darkness, you know?

And for those who smiled when reading the title and want to re-live the 70s, click here!

TTFN
-Tony

High Anxiety

Sorry I've been away a while. I seem to be having some sort of inner ear difficulty. I feel like... remember when you were a kid, and you tried to play a 45 (kiddies, ask your parents) without a spacer? You tried to line it up perfectly on the turntable, but no matter what you did, it was always a little out of whack by the end of the song? That's the way I feel. No pain, no sickness, just a little bit out of whack. I may actually go to a doctor tomorrow. I hate going to the Doctor in NYC, because even when I have an appointment, I wind up waiting for hours in the sitting room. Once, I was taken to an examining room, (where they take your blood pressure and temperature before the doctor sees you,) where I passed out. I woke up a half-hour later, made my way to the nurse's station, and asked what had happened. They had simply forgotten about me. Needless to say, I never went back to that office.

Also, a Doctor's visit is never the end of it. If I go, the Doctor will want me to go to someone else the next day and take some tests, which I won't find the results out for until God knows when. Why can't I go see Doctor McCoy? All you had to do was lay down on his table, and some "womp-womp" thing would go by above you. He'd look at the flashing colors and know just what was wrong with you. Then he'd put a painless "hypo" against your arm and you'd feel all better. And if you were already dead, it gave him a chance to say, "He's dead, Jim!"

I'm having fun imagining all the things that could be wrong:
Brain Cancer
Total Solipsistic Universe Collapse
Psychic invasion by 5th dimensional begins
Alien gestating in my brain stem
Turning into a vampire (blood deficiency)
Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo *(most likely the case, but why be normal?)

Maybe I just need more sleep. Or less sleep. Who knows.
Goodnight.

TTFN
-Tony

Al Gore's $300 Million "We" Ad Campaign

Apparently, Al Gore has been given $300 million to spend on an environmental ad campaign. Why? I could see if the money was being spent to implement changes in our energy policy, research ethanol, erect a wind-farm or solar power plant... but it's not. It's going to be wasted on commercials that most likely won't make a difference, and the only ones who will make out will be the media. Maybe that's the idea.

I know this is old, but here is Penn & Teller's brilliant petition to ban water, which basically sums up my view of Al Gore's worshipers. Yes, there are real environmental issues. Yes, some idiots will sign anything you put in front of them. Enjoy.



TTFN
-Tony

Rant # 451.6 - Congestion Pricing

Tony's rule # 352a: Once you make money off of your problems, you have no reason to fix your problems.

rule # 352b: Once you can make money off of your problems, it becomes financially prudent to make those problems worse.

The NYC city council has passed Mayor Bloomberg's congestion pricing plan, and have sent it on to Albany. The supposed line is that it has something to do with the environment and raising money for public transportation. In reality, it has everything to do with revenue.

Proposed Pro: If the city charges residents $8 to drive into lower Manhattan (below 60th street) The federal government will pay $351 million into our public transportation system.

Real-life Con: Because Albany forced the MTA to take high-priced loans in the 90s, the MTA is more than $20 billions of dollars in debt- and by 2010 are expected to have a debt of $32 billion $351 million won't make a dent in that.

Proposed Pro: More drivers will take public transportation, which is good for the environment.

Real life Cons: #1 - THE MTA IS ALREADY OPERATING OVER CAPACITY. The massive "desired" influx of riders will only make the problem worse. Any proposed improvements would take years of construction to complete.

#2 - The outer Burroughs will become parking lots. For those who don't know, Manhattan is an Island. If this plan is implemented, more drivers from upstate New York and Long Island will drive into the surrounding Burroughs (increasing OUR traffic, thank you,) and park in neighborhoods in the Bronx, Brooklyn, and Queens which are close to subway stations. It is near impossible to find parking in these neighborhoods as it is - as anyone who's ever visited me will tell you.

#3 See the rule at the top. As with every fine in New York City, it's nothing to do with deterrent, it's all about making money. One of the first things Bloomberg did when he came to office was double all the fines and order the police to enforce every unknown law on the book. (This led to the the famous case of a man being ticketed for sitting on a milk crate - a fine the mayor supported.) Truck drivers must park - often illegally - to make deliveries. The answer? Raise the fines to an average of $115 and reduce the number of allowed parking spaces. The cost of the fines are absorbed into "the cost of doing business." Many of the billboards in NYC are illegal (not approved or in the wrong zone.) Answer: fine them - not quite enough to make the billboards unprofitable, but enough that the city gets its cut. The fine becomes part of the billboard owner's cost of doing business.

To make a long story short, Bloomberg and the city council know damn well that some people have no choice but to drive for their commute. In fact, they're counting on them. This overhead will just be chalked up to "the cost of doing business." or "the cost of living/working in New York City." Funny, that's why I thought city taxes were for.

#4 - Truck drivers will pay $21. Why should I care? Because most of those trucks are making deliveries. The price of tolls will be passed down to the consumer

Proposed Pro: "It works like a dream in London! Really!"
Real life... ? If it works as well as the proponents claim, I see one significant difference: Manhattan is an Island, with only a handful of bridges and tunnels leading in and out. London's solution was to increase the amount of buses before working on their subway system. The problem with that is that a bus/subway ride from Queens to Manhattan costs $2 each way, while a bus ride from Queens to Manhattan costs $5. That's a 250% increase, so people are 250% more likely to cram into an already overcrowded subway than take a bus. Also, many of the commuters come from upstate NY (Metro North) and NJ (Port Authority,) so the increases in service would need to be much more widespread.

An open note to anyone in the U.K. - Does congestion pricing actually work or not? I'd like an insider's point of view, if you'd be kind enough to give it.

TTFN
-Tony

Calling All Creationists

I've posted about the whole evolution vs. creation debate before. Recently, I came across this frightening video.



Now, this is going out to any creationists out there who feel the same way that the people touring the museum in the video do. It's something that honestly puzzles me that I'd like to know the answer to:

May I ask - why would it make God any less majestic if evolution were real? God gave us all brains to solve problems. Science is the exploration into how God's universe works. If it were true that all of God's creation evolved from primordial soup, wouldn't that make all of God's creation closer to each other and part of the same whole? Does knowing how fusion works make the sun and the stars any less beautiful? How does believing that creation is billions of years old as opposed to thousands make God any less powerful, or shake your faith in Him?

In fact, if God created evolution and if it were a constant factor in life, wouldn't that be proof that God has a constant hand in existence, rather than that he just put the world into motion?

I'm not trying to put anyone on the spot or start a flame war - you all have your beliefs and I respect them. (And again, I ask any commenters to do the same.) I've just never understood how using the brain God gave you to understand his creation rather than just taking it as read that what was written thousands of years ago is scientifically accurate could possibly shake your faith in Him or all of His glory.

TTFN
-Tony

Internet Trolls

Illustration Friday: Pet Peeves

Say you like sunshine, and a troll will post a treatise about the evils of supernovas.

TTFN
-Tony

YouTube's Regional Censoring

Being the life-long sci-fi geek that I am, I searched on YouTube for the new Dr. Who Season 4 Trailer. I clicked on it and got the following message:

"This video is not available in your country."

Excuse me? This video is not available in my country? I'm sorry, I was under impression that YouTube content was only blocked in such countries as China, not supposedly free countries like the United States. Apparently information is only as free as the corporate giants want it to be.

All right, I hear you cry, it was bound to happen. But why? The BBC (who puts out Doctor Who) has their own site that streams video only to British IPs. Fine - any videos they wanted to restrict they could have posted there. Why did YouTube (whose parent company Google's laughable motto is "First, do no harm,") have to make their site anything but free to the world? But a bit of searching shows that the problem is more than the entertainment industry trying to make the internet as region blocked as a DVD player. Apparently, there are cases of people in Germany who get the "not available" message if trying to watch films about Nazis. So the issue is not only about copyright, it's about censorship as well. Thank you, YouTube, Google, and your corporate masters, who have once again caved in and made the internet a slighty shittier place to be.

TTFN
-Tony