Episode 003: Truth, or Not Truth?

 A contest more deadly than Russian Roulette!

 Available on YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram.

 

TTFN

-Tony 

 

9/11, Looking Back After Twenty-Five Years

Looking back at the last twenty-five years, the most predominant thought in my mind is this:

Do you remember how, in the wake of 9/11, Republican President George W. Bush - for all of his many, many flaws - constantly drove home the message that we were ALL Americans, including Muslims? Do you remember how in his speeches he stressed over and over that all Muslims were NOT terrorists? Do you remember how he spoke out again and again against racism in that dark time, and tried to unify us instead of dividing? 

Now please, look around you, and compare that to all the hate, paranoia, and racism Donald Trump and his propaganda machine are so desperately trying to use the 25th anniversary of 9/11 to promote - especially on social media.

What's happened to us?
_________________________

The following is a letter I wrote to my friends & family in the days after 9/11. The only comment I'd like to make is that while at the time we were told the death toll was 6000, we now know it to be about 2700.
__________________________

I'm sorry that I've been distant lately. I'm sure you can all understand, some even more than me.

I've been scared. I don't like to be, much less admit it, but I've been scared. I was lucky and in Queens, not in Manhattan last Tuesday. No, I wouldn't have been THERE (Though at 2 am I remember that I was working on the roof of a building a block away a month before this happened.) When the towers went down, I walked to the LIE overpass behind the apartment house and stared at the smoke that was in the place of the towers on the Manhattan skyline. Even though I'm one East River away from the close-ups on TV, it was stomach twisting. I called my foreman that night, and he told me how they watched it happen from the windows, 30 blocks away, how 20-50 year-old tough-guy construction workers were shaking, some crying, because they thought it was WW3 and the beginning of The End.

On Thursday, back in Manhattan, I had to walk from 42nd and Lex to 23rd and 1st, because the #6 line was down. (They were afraid of subway vibrations bringing down more buildings) It's not really as long a walk as it sounds, but I passed the recovery HQ on 1st ave- Past all the TV vans, and past a block's worth of pictures taped to plywood sheets. As time has past, these hopeful "have you seen" pictures have become memorials, and they're everywhere. I can't talk on the phone without staring into photographs with tearful notes of hope underneath, knowing they were put there by loved ones who will never ever see them again. I call my wife, and my voice becomes a dull monotone. She asks why and I'm at a loss on how to explain.

One of my friends at work is 40 years old, and he's a kind, good man. Today he suddenly started cursing himself, muttering what a failure he is. When I asked him what was wrong, he admitted it was because he started smoking again after giving them up cold turkey for 10 years. He told me he feels worthless, because suddenly he can't live without them again. I tell him it's an understandable need, but I can tell that my words don't help. I realize the frustration goes deeper than a pack of Marbalo 100s

Again, I'm on a job 30 blocks away from "ground zero", and I can see out the window that what was once a symbol of achievement is still a smoldering hole in the ground. I know it's only been a week, but I wonder when the skyline won't have a haze that has nothing to do with pollution. I walk down the street and I see people that are scared and jittery, no matter what their profession or race. I buy a paper from an elderly Arabic man, who wears a "God Bless America" shirt every day, and shrinks down in his kiosk- which is draped in American flags- like a frightened rabbit every time I, or any other customer approach. I give the little smile I have, but I don't think it does any good. I wonder if he's so afraid, why he stays here, and I realize he probably has no one and no where else to go.

Our shop is working on restoring power to one of those buildings- the same one I was on the roof of not too long ago (The Trinity building, 111 Broadway for those of you with a love for geography)- and being a lowly apprentice I helped the truck driver deliver material yesterday. My drivers license was scrutinized by armed police and National Guardsmen, like I'm trying to get onto a military base, and they make me wait in the cab while they and the driver search the truck. The won't let the truck get closer than a few blocks away and we wind up rolling 3' diameter wooden reels of sj cord down the street. The smell twisted my stomach, when I realized that what I was smelling was death- the death of a great achievement, of that smug "nothing can ever happen to us" attitude we Americans had without giving it a second thought, and, most disturbingly of over 6000 bodies.

And there's this feeling that grips me, this feeling that there's nothing I could ever do to protect myself, my wife or my son (I know that's a MCP attitude, but I'm sure Jen feels the same way about Joey and me.) And I wonder every night if tomorrow some new insanity will strike. I jump every time a car backfires. I run 2 miles a night (yes, frightening but true. This started a while before all this happened and I'm down to a not-quite-slim-yet 225lbs, thank you very much) and every time a plane flies overhead I flinch. I watched President's Bush's speech on TV tonight, and every time the picture flickered a little (I don't have cable, so 2 is really the only reliable channel- the others are coming and going- for those of you not in NYC, the WTC had all the broadcast antennas for the area except channel 2, leaving those of us cable-less with only CBS ) I thought "oh shit, what's happening now?" Every time I hear a siren, I wonder what's happened. The QM4 bus got held up at the Midtown tunnel yesterday (connecting Queens to Manhattan) because there was an accident. Of course, everyone seeing a bunch of flashing lights and emergency vehicles as we approach a tunnel, we instantly look around like caged animals, wondering if stage 2 had begun.

I feel guilty. Part of me tells myself that I have no right to feel so hurt or so angry- my family and my friends are all safe, and I'm alive and healthy. I'm a civilian now, I don't have to worry like so many others do. Who am I to feel so much? There are some without homes, without jobs, without their wives/sons/husbands/dads/daughters/brothers/sisters/fiancées... oh, you get the picture. I feel like I'm just whining.

I can't help being angry. We have the freedom of religion, but we jump out of our skins if someone says a prayer before a graduation ceremony or a football game. We have the freedom to own firearms, but we curse any law abiding citizen who owns one, while passing more and more lenient laws against criminals who use them. We showed the world that our presidency is a joke, that we don't care about our own history, our pride. We have a popular culture that demands more and more freedoms, but damns those who give/gave their lives and personal freedoms to protect the ones we have. I watched the speech, saw Democrats and Republicans give up their petty bickering that's been tearing the country to pieces, for the first time since WW2. It gives me a boost of hope, and I pray the sentiment lasts longer than this week, and reaches further than military resolve- into fixing our school system, into caring more about our OWN country's welfare, into bringing back production into this country so people can have jobs and learn trades to feed their families. I hope our politicians will stop trying to convince group A that everyone in groups B, C, and Q hates them, just to get their block of votes, then running around like idiots and asking "why?" when that hate turns to violence. I hope we learn to accept and love each other because we're Americans, despite our preference/denomination/color/sex. God, two weeks ago, that statement would have sounded so corny, wouldn't it?

We're at war, but we don't really know against who. There's no clear enemy, no one knows who will attack or when. Will it be us or them? Will it be "Us" or some nut like McVeigh, thinking we'll blame foreign terrorists instead of domestic? I realize I live on an island, and the only way to the rest of the world is by crossing another island (either Staten Island or Manhattan) Am I going to worry over every bridge and tunnel I cross for the rest of my life? And if it's "them," what form will it take? Watching 6000 people die as the WTC go down in flames is one thing. Watching millions in a city die from Anthrax in our water supply is another.

I'm sorry if I see this as just an NYC thing. It's hard to grasp that this is affecting the whole country.

It's an uncertain time, it's become an uncertain world. I just want you all to be certain that I love every one of you.

Those of you who've been forwarding bits of editorials, news items, letters, etc. Thank you, but it's you who's opinion I'm interested in. Let me know what you're thinking & feeling, if you'd like- you're more important.

Love each other, stay safe, and live your lives, for yourself and for each other.

-Tony

_______

Here is another post I wrote years ago, entitled "Two Days After"

________


The subway from Queens, unreliable at the best of times, crawled along at ten miles an hour. It grinded to a halt every few hundred yards. Some riders jerked their eyes back and forth. Others hung their heads, swaying with the movement of the tracks. One woman choked back sobs, wiping her eyes every few minutes with a mascara-stained tissue.

I worked at 23rd street, which is about a mile and a half north of “Ground Zero.” When the train from Queens entered Manhattan, a crackling loudspeaker informed me that my connecting train was out of service. I exited into the sunlight, passed a cordon of police and soldiers, and began my thirty-block trek downtown. Even from three miles away I could smell the burning. I tried to ignore the fact that what filled my nostrils included some 2600 people. I failed.

The city seemed deserted, empty. Anything south of West 4th Street had been blocked off with military checkpoints, so only a handful of cars were on the streets. Every few blocks, police and National Guardsmen carrying M16s stood ready, but for what I had no idea. To the south, towering above us all, a swirling pillar of smoke scorched the sky, a giant defacing the clouds with charcoal.

Along Lexington Avenue, bus shelter after bus shelter were wallpapered with photocopies and print outs. Black-ink faces smiled from white paper copies of wedding photos, family gatherings, and yearbook portraits. Each had a plea scrawled in block letters: “HAS ANYONE SEEN _____?” or, “PLEASE CALL IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION!” In time, as the elements eroded these appeals, it became clear that no one would ever call, that these tattered papers would be the victims’ only tombstones. Watching these desperate prayers disintegrate day after day made me feel sick to my stomach and helpless. This, more than anything, is what I think of when anyone asks what I remember.

I reached the New York University Dental School on the East Side, which was under renovation. The kiosk I bought my paper from was draped with American flags. The elderly Middle-Eastern man inside half cowered at the sight of me, a large, pleading smile on his face. He wore a bright, tacky t-shirt with the Statue of Liberty on it. What was his exact nationality? I had no clue. His pleading, darting eyes prayed that I didn’t think it mattered. I bought the Daily News and offered him the best smile I could muster. He bared his teeth in an empty grin, his head bouncing like a bobblehead.

A long line of construction workers waited for me at the gate. As was now the norm throughout the city, everyone had to be checked in with photo IDs. One electrician who had worked there for six months was not allowed to enter, because he did not have his driver’s license with him. “Everyone must have their papers,” he growled as he left. “It’s like fucking Russia.”

On the tenth floor, my coworkers stood at the windows in silence. I joined them, lost in the monstrosity that blotted out the sky to the south, occasional bursts of red and orange flaring up from its base. “How long ‘till they get that out?” I wondered.

“Who knows?” a fellow electrician named Tom said. He took a drag on his Marlboro. “That jet fuel can gel like napalm. It’s all packed in down there in the rubble. Don’t forget that there was the subway, the PATH station, and a little underground mall down there too. They’re all burning. Pockets of air come up and feed the fire, and the fuel seeps further and further down.” The cigarette was just about down to the filter. He tossed it on the floor, crushed it under his heel, and lit another. “Did you watch Dubya’s speech?”

“Yeah,” I said, remembering the standing ovation he had gotten from both sides of the aisle. “Hilary looked royally pissed he was getting so much love.”

“Mmm,” he said. “Bush. Asshole. Just let it happen.”

“How could he have stopped it?” I asked. “You can’t exactly shoot planes down over New York City.”

“How old are you?” he asked.

“Twenty-eight.”

“You’re young,” Tom said. “Never trust the government- especially Republicans. They’ll fuck you any way they can.”

“Ok,” Jeff the foreman interrupted, clapping his hands. It was 7:30, half an hour after we were supposed to start. “I know it’s hard, but we have to get something done.”

Someone turned on the radio. Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the U.S.A.” blasted from Q104.3, although it couldn’t by any stretch of the imagination be called classic rock. Afterwards, Ray Charles’ version of “America the Beautiful” came on. Better, I thought. I strapped on my tool belt and tried to pretend it was a normal day.

“Listen to that song,” a carpenter said. “I love that song.”

“It’s a great version,” I said.

His face twisted. “We should just bomb them.”

“Who?” I asked.

“The whole Middle East,” he snapped, as if I was an idiot. “Just nuke them right off the map, that’ll teach them. It stopped World War Two, didn’t it?”

“You can’t do that anymore,” his co-worker piped up. “It’s not ‘politically correct.’”

“You know some kids are protesting us going into Afghanistan?” a fellow electrician named Barney joined in. He was a plump man in his mid-fifties. He lit a cigarette, sucking the smoke down like a man gasping for air. “It’s just like Vietnam again.”

“No, it’s like Desert Storm,” the carpenter corrected him. “Everyone has flags out along my block, all over their car radios, yellow ribbons around trees, the works. But in a year, everyone’s going to forget. Or they’ll just be sick of it. Right now, the Republicans are all saying ‘I told you so,’ and they’re having fun doing it. But in a year or two, the liberals will be back with a vengeance.”

“Yep,” I said. I reached into Barney’s pack and took out a cigarette. He held out his lighter to me and I took a long drag. It burned and tasted delicious. “People have short memories."

“You got that right,” Barney muttered.

How long would all this last, I wondered as I gathered up wire reels and arranged them on a pulling rack, this bizarre mixture of patriotism, anger, prayer, suspicion, love, fear, and camaraderie? How long could the government continue its tightrope act, claiming that America is in immediate danger, yet at the same time, implore us that it’s a safe place to “go out and shop?” How long were we going to pat ourselves on the back for our freedom and envious way of life, while at the same time presenting our papers at work while soldiers with automatic weapons patrolled the streets?

The first few lines of John Mellencamp’s “Ain’t that America” came on the radio, and someone cranked up the volume even louder. Across the floor, I could see Jeff raise an eyebrow at me: Was I was just going to stand around all day? I realized that however long it took for things to get back to normal, it would be a lot more than two days. I pushed my cart out onto the floor and went to work.

TTFN

-Tony

__________________________________

 Restoring power on the roof of the Trinity Building (next to Ground Zero) around October 2001.
 

 

Before You Called...

A new PG-13-ish audio sketch comedy series following Sadie and Reggie: Two friends attempting to navigate relationships, politics, pop culture—and, when absolutely unavoidable, real life.

Written and performed by the lovely and talented Isabella Fumoso, (who played the various incarnations of Charlotte in It's Always a Human Error: Turning the Future Off and On Again), and myself.

Available on  Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, not to mention Facebook. Meet Sadie and Reggie and check out the series here. 

TTFN

-Tony

 

 

A Whole Lotta... Something Going On!

Greetings, friends and neighbors. 

First of all, the latest episode of The Egotistical Podcast - 012: Interlude - is out. You can listen to it on Youtube, or Podbean.

Second, the original soundtrack for It's Always a Human Error: Turning the Future Off and On Again is out on Spotify, with other platforms soon to follow! So, if you want to stretch a few brain cells to some trippy electronic background music, why not treat yourself?

Stay tuned for more information on Isabella and my upcoming sketch comedy foray, Before You Called...

Until then, be good to yourselves. 

TTFN

-Tony 

Wowsers!

Holy guacamole, 10k+ views! Thanks again to everyone in the cast for making it possible. If you haven't listened yet, all the links are here (and soon the soundtrack will be available as well!)

The incredibly lovely and talented Isabella, (who played Charlotte among other voices) and I are planning to write and perform a series of PG-13 sketch comedy audio shorts together. The title will be "Before You Called..." It's going to be a lot of fun, so please, stay tuned for more about that!

TTFN

-Tony 

 

 

The webpage for the audio drama is up and running!

 It's Always a Human Error: Turning the Future Off and On Again

 

In a future classroom, an AI teacher guides virtual students through an increasingly strange journey across the history of intelligence, from single-celled life and primitive tools to silicon chips and quantum computing. Told through completely accurate reconstructed documentaries, game shows, and philosophical detours, this darkly comic, semi-educational, science-fiction audio drama explores history, religion, technology, and what happens when computers begin asking the questions humanity couldn’t be bothered to answer.

This stand-alone audio-drama episode of The Egotistical Podcast was written, directed, scored, edited, sound designed, and produced by Tony LaRocca (It's called "Egotistical" Productions for a reason.)
 
Available on YouTube, Podbean, and other various podcast sites, along with short and long trailers. 
 
CAST (in alphabetical order): 
 
Mary Corrales as Crystal.

Waldo Corrales as Alfie.

Bradley Creanzo as Donny Diplexer.  Facebook, IMDb

Ivy D. as Samantha, and The Kumquat Stigmata. Website 

Solveig Feragen as the BIOS.

Isabella Fumoso as Charlotte, Chessy McKittens, Sister Charlotte, and the announcer. 

Amanda and Joe LaRocca as Students.

Anthony J. LaRocca Sr. as himself.

Tony LaRocca the Younger as the Chad I-2-P 5000 & 6000, Charles Babbage, Billy, The Alchemist, Leonard, The Magistrate, Herman the Executioner, and Chadwick the Pig Slopper. 

Stan Lobby III as Melvin, The Assistant, and The Most Illustrious Grand Inquisitor. YouTube

Jerry McMahon as Alan Turing.

Elena Nazzaro as Brava. Instagram

Peter Nazzaro as Tommy. 
 
Sophia Nazzaro as Eliza. 

Heather Pruiksma as Ada Lovelace.

Tony Sarrecchia as Charlie, and The Inverted Cabbage. Website

Crowd Voices were played by various members of the cast.

"Paene Finitum Est" was performed by The Brothers of The Holy Order of the Imaginary Basemen.


NOTES:

 I've always loved radio shows and spoken word albums, especially the Firesign Theatre and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. (Did you know it started out as a BBC radio drama?) I am also a fan of Big Finish and their continuing classic Doctor Who adventures. I've often toyed with the idea of adapting a few of my short stories for audio dramatization. The only problem is that they are extremely visual and would require narration. I'm not a fan of that, as it always takes me out of the story. 
 
I have, on occasion, toyed with the idea of starting something completely new that was very dialogue heavy, aimed with an audio drama in mind from the get go. Then, quite a lot of real life got in the way, and that idea was put on the back burner. 
 
I've also considered writing a nonfiction book, sort of an amateur self-proclaimed guru's guide to life, along the lines of the late great Robert Anton Wilson. I wrote a few chapters while riding to work on public transportation, and eventually began a chapter about AI.  
 
Why AI? Because for the past year, it has suddenly dominated the news and our daily lives. But how to approach it? The first step was learning as much as I could about computer science in general. We all use computers, we all have one in our pocket that we rely on. But how do they work at a basic level? How does the flow of electrons compute, store memory, and mimic human thoughts and personality? 
 
An idea began to form. Each chapter could be an episode of my podcast. We are currently wallowing in worldwide catastrophic turmoil. And as much fun as it is to rant and rave about the current political situation, it's also becoming extremely negative - not only for myself, but I'm sure for everyone around me. I wanted to start talking about other things. 
 
At first, I thought I could just take on the persona of a futuristic AI professor, teaching a class of virtual students about the history of computing and AI, including quantum computing. Maybe I could get a friend or two to play students asking a few humorous questions to break up the monotony. I mentioned The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio drama earlier. There is a fantastic bit in "Fit the 11th" (S2E5) where an AI teacher tries to teach a belligerent student about an inevitable galactic catastrophe known as The Shoe Event Horizon. I imagined an entire episode along the same lines. 
 
As I also mentioned above, I am a huge fan of The Firesign Theatre. Set at a futuristic world's fair, I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus contains a few ridiculous parodies of documentaries, as does their album & film Everything You Know Is Wrong. The late great Stan Freberg's Presents the United States of America albums famously contain comedy sketches very loosely based on American history. Inspired, I began to write sketches about the history and science behind computers and AI, but I wanted them to be more educational than parody. 
 
Before I knew it, I had a handful of sketches, and a story that would tie them all together. Going back to the Firesign Theatre again, I wanted to create something that was layered and slightly surreal that people would want to listen to more than once to try and get an idea of the whole picture. I left some things deliberately ambiguous so that people could form their own ideas and opinions. 
 
Next came casting. People didn't want to hear just me attempting to do different voices for over an hour. I asked various family members and friends to record voices for me. Some had casted me in their own productions, so I wanted to return the favor.

 

My original intent was to reverse the phrases “Inverted Cabbage” and “Kumquat Stigmata.” I figured it would be more interesting, and if people wanted, they could reverse them, and find the clues to their origins within the story. I had everyone pause before saying them. Then I reversed them, and found that they were very hard to differentiate. To the ear, they were just backwards phrases, with no real discernment between them. So I removed the pauses, and left them au naturel. There is one place where I left Donny saying “Inverted Cabbage” backwards as a curse –see if you can find it.
 
Melvin, while played wonderfully by Stan Lobby III, is obviously me. I can nerd out on quite a number of science fiction books, shows, and movies, much to the kind suffering of everyone around me. 
 
The computer game Charles Babbage envisions is a nineteenth century version of Doom. 
 
Versions of the original Eliza program can be found online. I fed in the exact questions asked in the script, and wrote in its responses verbatim. 
 
Alchemist Why is - obviously - a parody of Doctor Who. The line about reversing the flow of quantum supposition is a throwback to the Third Doctor's catchphrase, "Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow!" There is a tickling in the back of my mind that I would someday like to do more with that...  
 
Just about every cast member recorded the crowd lines, laughter, and applause individually, which I then layered and synched on top of each other. Crowd background noises were created by having each of them mumble a paragraph from my short story "Ad-Aware," and then similarly layering them. 
 
Back in the 70s, sitcoms often began with the declaration that they were "recorded live in front of a studio audience" rather than using a laugh track. I tried my best to do a Tom Bosley impersonation ala Happy Days. 
 
With very few exceptions, I find modern sitcoms extremely unfunny. Some of them are cringe-inducing and painful to watch, but then the laugh track just goes wild with hysteria.  
 
"Trash-80" was the tech-world's universal nickname for the TRS-80 line of home computers back in the 80s. We had a Model 3 growing up, and despite all of its many, many limitations, it will always hold a place in my heart. 
 
As I watch everything happening around me, Samantha's point is constantly on my mind: When we little people use one of the AIs available to us, they always have some morality guard, and for very good reason. If you asked one of them, "How could I screw over everyone around me, manipulate the markets, cheat, lie, and foster fear, hate and division so that I always come out on top?" it would tell you that it couldn't tell you how to do that, and furthermore, that you shouldn't do that. But I have absolutely no doubt that the governments and corporations of the world have much, much more powerful AIs available than we will ever see, and they absolutely do not have any morality guards whatsoever. 
 
"Paene Finitum Est" is listed in the credits as performed by The Brothers of The Holy Order of the Imaginary Basemen. When we were kids, we used to play kickball all the time. But if we didn't have enough players, we would use imaginary basemen to hold our places after getting on-base. I gave mine names - Herman and Harold. A lifetime ago in Herman Takes a Dive, I wrote a barber shop theme song, recorded myself singing all three parts, and credited it to The Imaginary Basemen Trio. Likewise, I wrote a Latin faux-Gregorian chant in three-part harmony, and recorded myself singing each part ten times. So the "Imaginary Basemen" credit line is just an extremely inside joke to crack myself up. 
 
The translation is as follows: 
"Thank you for listening to all of this. Don't worry, it's almost over."  

Actually, all of the music in the episode are original compositions. I’m planning on a Spotify soundtrack album, so stay tuned!
 
Again, I thank the cast for all of their hard work, and my friends and family for being so supportive. I hope you enjoy!

 

TTFN

-Tony 

It's Always a Human Error: Turning the Future Off and On Again

 

In a future classroom, an AI teacher guides virtual students through an increasingly strange journey across the history of intelligence, from single-celled life and primitive tools to silicon chips and quantum computing. Told through reconstructed documentaries, game shows, and philosophical detours, this darkly comic, semi-educational, science-fiction audio drama explores history, religion, technology, and what happens when computers begin asking the questions humanity couldn’t be bothered to answer.

This full-length audio drama was written, directed, scored, sound designed, and produced by Tony LaRocca.

Starring: Mary & Waldo Corrales, Bradley Creanzo, Ivy D., Solveig Feragen, Isabella Fumoso, Amanda & Joe LaRocca, Anthony J. LaRocca Sr., Tony LaRocca the Younger, Stan Lobby, Jerry McMahon, Elena, Peter, & Sophia Nazzaro, Heather Pruiksma, and Tony Sarrecchia.

Runtime: 1 hour, 18 minutes
Genre: Science fiction / dark comedy / educational/ philosophical audio drama.

 

Listen to it on YouTube or Podbean.  

 

If you would like to know what you are getting into first, check out the trailers here: short and long.

 

Thanks to everyone in the cast for all their hard work.

  

TTFN

-Tony 

  

Let Freedom Ring

When I was a kid back in 1976, my father draped flags on the side of the house for America's bicentennial. Now, here we are at its 250th birthday - and at 94, he's been around for more than a third of it.

We live in a nation with a beautifully written constitution. A nation that was created to stand against tyranny. A nation whose strength against tyranny has been tested and proven over and over. 

You see that strength every day, it endures. People continue to stand for freedom of speech and the press's ability to inform us of the truth. For all to be treated as equal, and for equal protection of law. For due process. For the ability to pursue life, liberty, and happiness. For us to be ruled by democratically elected representatives as opposed to a dictatorship. People who fight to see their children and their neighbors' children be happy, healthy, and educated. People who take pride in the vision of a better future for all. America has been tested time and time again, and those who believe in her will always give her strength to remain standing.

To quote the first line of The Godfather, "I believe in America!"

 

TTFN

-Tony 

010: The Evidence Before Our Eyes - Renee Good and America’s Turning Point

In the face of the Renee Good shooting and its ongoing aftermath, your intrepid podcaster asks the questions that refuse to go away: What kind of country do we actually want America to be, and how much are we willing to excuse?

YouTube

Pod Bean

Homepage 

TTFN

-Tony

 

"It's treason, then!"

So, once again, America is thrown into the depths of Donald Trump’s fascism. (I know, I'm not a fan of the word, but I just don't know what else to call it.)

Earlier this week, a group of six Democratic lawmakers, all veterans of the military or intelligence community, released a video reminding service members and intelligence personnel that they should not follow illegal orders and that their oath is to the Constitution, not to any one man. 

I have to say, while I agree with their sentiment and intent, especially since we seem to be carrying out airstrikes on small boats off Latin America that the administration labels drug-smuggling vessels without presenting much in the way of public proof (and when did that become an executable offense, to be honest?), I did not agree with the way it was presented. They should have stressed that all servicepeople are trained about legal and illegal orders during basic training. They should have also stressed the importance of the chain of command, and that such refusals should only happen in the clearest of circumstances. Not all such situations are as easy to define as, say, the My Lai Massacre. To expect low-level enlisted and even officers to make distinctions that our legal eagles haven’t even clearly defined is problematic at best.

But draft-dodger Trump’s response is absolutely insane. To label what these lawmakers did as “SEDITIOUS BEHAVIOR, punishable by DEATH!” and to amplify supporters calling to “HANG THEM” simply for reminding servicepeople of what they’re already taught during basic training is just about as fascist as you can get.

As always, Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt lied over and over in her press conference, insisting that these Democrats told the military to disobey “lawful” orders. That is a flat-out lie, and one that the right-wing media is dutifully repeating. Even if I don’t 100% agree with the way the lawmakers presented their message, they stressed that they were talking about illegal orders. And of course, when reporters kept reminding Leavitt of the actual wording, she doubled down, then abruptly ended the conference and stormed off in a huff.

But the question is, why? If Trump is in the right, why, as always, do his rabid mouthpieces need to lie about it? If, as she insists, every order given by Trump is 100% legal, then what is the problem?

And even more importantly, why do we just accept that this is just another abnormal day in Trump's America?

TTFN

-Tony

009: The Filler Episode

Halloween, a few not-so-deep thoughts, a taste of things to come, and just a dash of politics. All lactose, gluten, and GMO-free!

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Homepage 

TTFN

-Tony

 

 

Okay folks let's make this clear:

Under federal law, hospitals must care for anyone in an emergency. This includes illegal immigrants. (If it really gets your panties in a twist, just think of it as the Christian thing to do.) 

The only provision the Democrats have for illegal immigrants in this whole shutdown brouhaha is for emergency Medicaid so these hospitals can get paid in such situations. 

Makes sense, right?

So when Trump and his ilk rant over and over that this shutdown is because of the Democrats want "billions" for illegal immigrants to have free medical coverage, they are flat out lying.

And while we're at it...

When cities such as Portland, Oregon go to court to stop Trump from sending in the National Guard, this is because they believe that his actions violate the Constitution. 

In such cases, our government works via action and reaction. When the president acts, if questioned, the legality is decided after the fact. 

So the only way We the People can be protected from tyranny (cough, fascism) as our founding fathers intended, is for this wacky thing called "checks and balances," aka the "balance of power." 

This means that when a president does something that is very possibly unconstitutional and he has a congress that rubber-stamps his every move, the only way of stopping it is by going through the courts.

So doing so is not "far-left terrorism" as Trump and his ilk proclaim, it's the Constitution working to protect you against tyranny - just as our founding fathers intended.

TTFN
-Tony

008: Letting the Hate Flow! Trump, Kirk, Kimmel, and the First Amendment Under Siege

008: Letting the Hate Flow! Trump, Kirk, Kimmel, and the First Amendment Under Siege 

What happens when criticizing the president becomes a crime, when free speech is rebranded as “hate”? From Charlie Kirk’s death to school shootings, from the First and Second Amendments to late-night satire, let's peel back the rhetoric, the power moves, and the danger to society. What does this redefinition of dissent under Trump really cost us — and can free speech survive the spin? 

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The Egotistical Podcast 

 

TTFN

-Tony

 

 

Tragic Times

 
As with anyone who is a victim of violence, it is tragic that media personality, commentator and political activist Charlie Kirk was fatally shot today. 

It was also at least as tragic, if not more so, that on, March 27, 2023, three nine-year-old children - Evelyn Dieckhaus, William Kinney, and Hallie Scruggs - were murdered, along with faculty members Cynthia Peak, Mike Hill, and Katherine Koonce at The Covenant School in Nashville Tennessee. 

I only bring this fact up, because a week later, Charlie Kirk said this of that school shooting: 

"You will never live in a society when you have an armed citizenry and you won't have a single gun death… I think it's worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights. That is a prudent deal. It is rational."

So yes, it definitely seems as if we live during a very tragic era in history.

TTFN
-Tony

006: TDS - Truth Derangement Syndrome

The Egotistical Podcast is back with Episode 006: TDS - Truth Derangement Syndrome, in which our intrepid podcaster rants about how Trump and the GOP have betrayed Republican values while also taking random pot shots at the Left. Flavored with a smidgen of speculation, a pinch of naughty language, and a dash of good old-fashioned conspiracy theory!

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All Others

TTFN

-Tony 

 

 

The Egotistical Podcast is Back!

 After a four-year hiatus, The Egotistical Podcast is back—and it's more egotistical than ever.

The first four episodes were all about phone-in conversations and interviews with fascinating people. But now? It’s just me—unfiltered, and unscripted. Each new episode dives into whatever’s on my mind: dreams, random thoughts and unexpected rants—all delivered in a raw, stream-of-consciousness style.

So, crank up the volume, tune out the world, and enjoy!

TTFN

-Tony 

 

 

I Woke Up This Morning...

To be honest, I've seen maybe one post suggesting that the new Superman movie is too "woke" (a term that has lost all objective meaning and is used by both sides to shut down any discussion) but about fifty signaling that anyone who says so is a worthless piece of garbage. 

Yes, the current regime and it's media ilk are festering sores on the rectum of humanity. But seeing as this all started when the director made a preemptive strike against naysayers (ala Ghostbusters 2014 & The Last Jedi), it just feels manipulative, and in the end, doesn't help. 

 ***

And now, the other side of the W-Word in Superhero Movies argument:

As a long time Lobo fan, I'm excited that Jason Momoa is finally going to play The Main Man on the big screen. However, since it's going to be in a Supergirl film, I will be extremely (but pleasantly) surprised if the ultra-violent, boozing, womanizing bounty hunter will not just be a straw-man of "toxic masculinity" for her to put in his place (to thunderous applause.)

We shall see.

TTFN

-Tony

 

(From the DC miniseries, Lobo's Back's Back!) 

 

 

But What of Juan Epstien?

I abhor the ridiculous tactic of bringing up Biden every time Trump does something to destroy our country, and yes, the ball is unquestionably in his court now, but let's be honest: The Democrat Party had all of Biden's administration to clamor for the government's information on Epstein to be made public.

Don't let them spin this issue into yet even more division. This isn't us vs. each other. This is the powerful vs. all of us.

 

TTFN

-Tony 

A Word on the Subject of Censorship

For the past couple of decades, I've watched as conservatives kept getting pushed further and further out of online forums, and long-standing IPs were hijacked by the far left. And if anyone on the right complained, the resounding answer was that their right to free speech was not being infringed upon, because corporations are not bound by it. The First Amendment is only applicable to the United States government. It's not censorship if you're not being locked up for using it. 

Now, I'm a fan of Colbert, and I have no doubt that he is being shut down because of his comments on the great diseased orange urine sample who currently befouls the Oval Office. My point is not, "Suck it, libs, it's your turn." It's that maybe we should all admit that - especially when credit card companies are now dictating which video games can and can't be sold - there's more to censorship and the ideal of free speech than just whether or not you're arrested for it.

 

TTFN

-Tony 

Or to Put It in Civilian Terms...

"Hey, you know our new CEO?"

"The one who never actually worked for our company before, and called the best of us who dedicated their entire lives to the company losers and suckers?"

"Yep. That's the guy. Anyway, now that he's in charge, he wants to do something special to honor all of the past and present employees for the company's 250th anniversary. Isn't that great for him to do for you? Isn't he wonderful?"

(Sigh.) "Let me guess, we're getting a lousy pizza party?"

"Nope."

"Wow. You mean there's going to be some sort of real party for us? Maybe a bonus, or an extra paid holiday?"

"Nope. Even better!"

"Better?"

"Better! You all get the honor of marching in front of him."

"What?" 

"On his birthday."

"What?" 

"In the rain."

(Stunned silence.)

"I told you - this is all to honor YOU!" 

".........Could I please just have a slice of pizza?"

TTFN

-Tony 

Signs of the Times

So let's be clear on this. Trump's dictator's-revue parade tomorrow is projected to cost $25 to $45 million. Meanwhile, he's planning to cut 45,000 jobs from the VA. Think of the actual good that money could have done for our veterans - if he actually cared about them in the slightest.

No, you do not have to be a veteran to be president. But as a US Army veteran, I am disgusted that this piece of filth draft dodger, who has called our fallen heroes "suckers and losers," has disrespected POWs ("I like people who weren't captured"), and who has had service members' achievements scoured from Arlington for the crime of not being white men - is going to use the Army to try and legitimatize his fascist insanity.

TTFN

-Tony 

What's One Constitution, More or Less?

Kristi Noem, folks, the Secretary of Homeland Security.

For those who don't know, Habeas Corpus means that the government needs to actually have a reason before they can lock you up.

You would think this was a good thing, right?

No? The illegal immigration problem is so important that you are willing to give away your freedom for it? Okay... In that case, let's look at some figures:

Trump, both in his first and current term, has a combined tally (with voluntary removals) of 2.72 million illegal immigrants.

Obama on the other hand, had 5 million.

But here's the kicker: OBAMA DID NOT TAKE AWAY YOUR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS TO DO IT.

He also didn't use it as an excuse to erode the separation of powers that protect you from tyranny. He didn't turn ICE into a masked Gestapo that could invade your home without a warrant. He didn't deport citizens, or those legally here seeking asylum.

And yet, despite all these things, he was STILL better at being a Republican than Trump.

Couldn't you just plotz?

So, if Obama was able to more effectively deport illegal immigrants without destroying your constitutional rights, then what is Trump's excuse? Not that illegal immigrants are any sort of good reason anyway, but why is he trying so badly to take away you and your children's constitutional freedoms and protections?

Food for thought.

TTFN
-Tony

 

"How did things ever get so far?"

 "How did things ever get so far?"

There's a scene in The Godfather where, following years of gang warfare, the titular character opens a discussion of peace with that line. And as I daily see the destruction of our nation and everything it (or Republicans) ever stood for being cheered on with glee and pride, that quote keeps popping into my mind.

The problem is frustratingly complex. The Powers That Be - call them the One Percent or whatever - have created a system where our government is run on the surface by two opposing ideologies. If we vote, then we have no choice but to choose one or the other, and the gap between the two widens every day. Politics have become a with-us-or-against-us, fundamentalist religion. Ideals no longer matter, all that matters is the camps and cults of all-or-nothing ideology and ideologues.

Any sort of discourse is shouted down. Jon Stewart was lambasted for simply interviewing Bill O' Riley. The Teamster's president was scolded for the unforgivable crime of opening a dialogue with Republicans. There are certain far-left sacred cows on which any discussion whatsoever is forbidden. The pendulum was pushed as far as it could to the left over the past decade, politically, culturally, and through cancelling, and now it's taken a hard swing to the far-right. The far-left makes a shocked Pikachu face, but what did they expect? Now the far-right are setting horrible, dangerous precedents in giving Trump unlimited power as president - but wait and see how much they cry when the pendulum swings back to the far-left.

If we even still have free elections in 2028.

Despite what the mainstream and social media insist, half of this nation simply isn't liberal. They're never going to vote for the side that pushes further and further from their core beliefs, no matter how insane and dangerous their own ideologue is. Vilifying and shaming them ala the Democrat Party only pushes them further away. You'll never shame someone into voting for your side. The same goes for the centrists. Either vote for the sane party that pisses in your face and insists it's raining honey and just accept that things will just slowly get worse, or vote for the bat-shit insane party that vocally agrees with your ideals, but uses them as an excuse to burn our democracy to the ground.

Look, I get it. There are people I thought were my friends who will never speak to me again simply because I spoke out against Hillary Clinton and the rabid divisiveness she and her followers fermented. I've been called a misogynist and accused of turning a blind eye to sexual assault because I dared to disagree with the harmful, misandrist feminist doctrine of "toxic masculinity." I've been called a white supremacist and a Nazi for calling CNN out on their witch hunts against teenagers who were harassed for wearing MAGA hats, or a certain young man whose only crime was defending his life against rioters and arsonists. I’ve been insulted up the wazoo for speaking out against the Far-Left's hijacking of every traditionally masculine IP and form of art or entertainment that exists, rather than creating new properties. So yes, I get it. I get the anger. I understand being fed up with the Democrat party and their hypocritical doctrine of shrouding themselves in social issues so they can cry "hate" whenever they're questioned. Biden was unquestionably a senile puppet, and unknown figures were governing in his place. Sure, the stock market revived towards the end, but average Americans found it nearly impossible to get by. Believe me, I get it.

But that doesn’t mean I’m going to support a brainless, constantly-lying, willing Project 2025 puppet who actively destroys our economy. I’m not going to support the dismantling of necessary social infrastructure – especially when it comes to educating our children. I’m not going to support laws that destroy individuals’ rights to simply live their lives. I’m not going to support openly dismantling the checks and balances that protect us from tyranny. And (though the list goes on and on and on) I will never support standing by a dictator and aiding him in invading an innocent sovereign nation, bombing its cities, kidnapping its children, and murdering and raping its people. It’s one thing to feel our tax dollars and young people’s lives should not go to defending Ukraine. It's another thing completely to openly kiss the ass of a dictator, and treat his suffering victims as if they are the real enemy.

It's understandable to want our government to put America first. We're paying taxes after all. But nothing Trump is doing will actually put America first. Tariffs can only work if you already have an industry for Americans to purchase from. We don't, and it will take years to bring production up to speed. I don't see any effort being made whatsoever to make this happen, though. So in reality, his tariffs are just going to bleed Americans dry. If he really wanted to cut waste, he would cut the billions if not trillions that we give away in corporate subsidies. Instead, he's mainly cutting those departments that are watchdogs for his cronies, or who dared to speak out against him and his crimes.

In short, we are stuck in a good cop/bad cop game. No, both parties are not the same, but they are both tools of the One Percent to use against us.

Don't believe me? Look at the way Chuck Schumer folded faster than Superman on laundry day over the budget (thank you, Simpsons), giving Trump and his ilk everything they wanted at all Americans’ expense. Look at the way Obama ran on universal healthcare, only to give us the ACA instead, all the worst parts of socialized medicine with extremely few of the benefits. Look at the way only Al Green and Bernie Sanders (you know, that guy the Democrat party vilified because it was “Hillary's turn”), have actually been fighting Trump. The rest just sat there waving their little ping pong ball paddles while he lied and lied, and talked of annexing other nations. So yes, the Democrat Party is just the good cop, and a tool of the One Percent. Because if we keep our pitchforks aimed at each other, we can't turn them on them.

And we are all the victims.

TTFN

-Tony

Return of the Blog!

Good morning, everyone out there in blog land. It's been forever since I've written here. This used to be the centerpiece of where I put my thoughts and feelings, but that all kind of went by the wayside with the rollercoaster ups and downs of life getting in the way. So, as our world becomes more and more insane, I'm going to fire it up again. I know I've said this on and off over the years, and don't know if anyone actually reads blogs anymore. But either way, someday, when this pattern of subatomic particles I call me has returned to chaos, this modest footprint will remain.

The biggest change to my life is that my wife Jennifer passed away back in November of 2024. It started with an infection, and then eventually she caught COVID. Her weakened immune system couldn't handle it, even though she had had her vaccinations. The only thing I can say to all of you is that little things can turn into big things, especially where your health is concerned. So please, take care of the little things whenever you can, you all matter, both to yourselves, and someone else.

So, having said that, let’s start my return to this blog with the eulogy I read at her funeral. Jennifer Pfitzer LaRocca, 1972 – 2024. May she rest in peace, and thank you to everyone who touched her life.

Good afternoon. I look out at our family and friends, and I thank you all for being here. We are here to celebrate the life of Jennifer LaRocca, nee Pfitzer, beloved daughter of Ken and Jean, watched over by her Aunt Betty and Grandmother, Rose, wife, and devoted mother of Joseph and Amanda. I say "to celebrate," but I know many of us don't feel like celebrating right now. One of the wisest statements I ever heard came from my cousin, who is a deacon. When my grandfather passed away, long ago, my grandmother said to him, 'I'm so mad at God right now!" And he just shrugged and said, "Eh, go ahead. He's a big God - he can take it!"

And that's the pain we’re going through. We feel sadness, confusion, and even anger at our loss. But the important thing to remember - and yes, I stole this right out of Eulogies for Dummies - the important thing to remember is that it's OUR loss That's why we're sad, for ourselves, because we miss her. But we also need to remember to be happy. Because, right now, Jennifer is in a place where there are no hurts, physical or emotional, no fears, and no sickness, only happiness, peace and joy. A place where she can dance, jump, and play in a way she hadn't been able to for a long, long time.

We all see the world through our own lenses. My children are sad they can't play video games with her anymore. I tell them that she's in a place where there is no lag, where she can play RPGs we can't even imagine at infinite resolutions, with ray tracing beyond our wildest dreams. Now, some of you are looking at me, and thinking, "Why is he talking about video games?" Well, the reason is, it was one of her ways of spending time with her children. Time is the most precious thing one person can ever give another because no amount of money can buy one second back. And Jen always made time for her children. And it wasn't just playing games or laughing over videos. Whenever they were hurting, she would stop whatever she was doing, and listen. Maybe she wasn't always able to solve their problems or give them the answers they wanted, but they always came away feeling heard, loved, and most importantly, knowing they mattered. She chose to help others and taught her children to do the same.

Some say that Social Media is a blight upon the land – and they’re right! But In the past few weeks, I've received texts and emails from Jennifer’s friends around the world. And the one quality every one mentions, that also stands out in all of my memories, was her capacity for kindness. She had no meanness. We all know people who trash talk others, who say nice things to their faces and then say something mean behind their backs, to try and fit in, or make themselves look better.  But Jen wasn't like that. She didn’t step on others to try and make herself more popular. She didn't have a mean bone in her body. She didn't find meanness funny either. Even in TV shows or movies, jokes that were mean-spirited or unkind always made her angry on behalf of the victim. That's the kind of person she was.

She was shy, but she was also fun. She loved to share music with her children. Music which, as Amanda reminded me when we were picking out hymns for this service, isn't exactly liturgical. She would often take Joe to concerts. You'd never catch her singing in public - but the three of them would sing together, sometimes in the car, or around the apartment. And it would always make me smile.

See, that's another reason for us to be happy. Not just for where she is now, but for the memories she gave us of the times we were lucky enough to spend with her. And more than anything, she would want that happiness for each of us.

I'll wrap this up by saying that some of you have sent Mass cards, which detail perpetual prayers for Jennifer's soul. Again, I thank you all for your love and kindness. But - and I hope I'm forgiven for my presumptuousness here - when Jennifer met Jesus a few weeks ago, I have no doubt that he saw right away that she was someone who would give food to those who were hungry, water to those who were thirsty, and if they were cold, would always give them her coat.
Again, I thank you.

TTFN

-Tony

But Is It Art?

Believe it or not, I saw Barbie.

While I did find some of it to be eye-rolling (fun fact: in real life, women make up almost half of the board of Mattel), it was, on the whole, entertaining, funny, and at times even insightful. My view has always been that everyone deserves to tell their stories. The silly criticisms this movie faced when it was released always baffled me. What did people expect a Barbie movie to be, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane? So I am happy that its makers told the story they wanted with the views they wanted. Good for them. Write your own story with your own characters and say whatever you like. That's the way it should be.

What does grind my gears is that while this movie has received accolades for its strong feminist message, so many existing male heroes and stories lately have been ideologically hijacked and rewritten through "the feminist lens." I won't bother asking what the reaction would be if a film ever came out that painted feminism with the same brush that Barbie paints men in society today because that's not the point.

The point is - if the extreme level of inequality in modern society this film rallies against were accurate - then, in a world where Barbie proudly exists and is nominated for Oscars, the Dune adaptation would not have been rewritten because the director felt the book needed a female lead. Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Indiana Jones would not have been shat upon so that Kathleen Kennedy could elevate her female insert characters over them. The Doctor and The Master would have always remained male, and poor Spock - the patron saint of stoic, self-sufficient, driven, always calm, logical, and in-charge-of-himself male science fiction characters - would not have been retconned so that his entire life and accomplishments were due to a never-before-heard-of sister. Also, his rewritten existence would not focus on his relationships with his girlfriends and pining over how his "emotional immaturity" has failed them. Because there is a difference between creating new representation and hypocritically taking existing representation away.

As I said, everyone deserves to have their stories told.

 

TTFN

-Tony

So, after five years, or more like twenty, I'm finally releasing a new novel. I say more like twenty because that's how long it's been since I wrote the first half of it. The rest... obviously took a tiny bit longer. I intended to publish the ebook, print, and Audible versions simultaneously, but apparently, Audible approval takes a very long time. Stay tuned!

I know there are Debris of Shadows fans who have been waiting for the final act - and that is in the works - but this is a stand-alone story. I hope you enjoy it.

When an explosion leaves Nicholas Croce with a talking afterglow only he can see, his life is no longer his own. Not only does the glowing starfish claim to be an angel, but he can pervert Nicholas’s senses, making him experience whatever he wishes. As a mysterious sect strives to keep history intact, Nicholas finds that such creatures have manipulated humanity for eons. But who commands these “angels,” and can he and his new associates protect reality from their meddling?

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CPY1J2W8

 

TTFN

-Tony 

 

 

 

 

 

The Jim Friend Toastmasters Club meets every first and third Tuesday of the month, both in person at The First Baptist Church in Metuchen, NJ, and virtually on Zoom.

Our next meeting is Tuesday, August 15th, at 7:30 pm. Please get in touch with me for more details if you would like to join us as a guest.

The mission of every Toastmasters Club is to provide a mutually supportive and positive learning environment in which every member has the opportunity to develop communication and leadership skills, fostering self-confidence and personal growth.

Hope to see you!

 

TTFN

 -Tony