Some days, it's so hard not to feel used up, empty and bitter.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Deep thoughts for the week:
Knowing that worrying about what you can't change is illogical does not immediately enable you to just switch it off.
Does "She's dancing like she's never danced before" mean she's dancing in a completely new way, or as if she's horribly inexperienced?
Thursdays are like when you've had a long, hard, day at work, and you look at the clock thinking there must be only an hour left, but in reality there're two.
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
This morning's epiphany: Trying to deduce what happened before The Big Bang is like burning a piece of paper, and trying to deduce what was written on it.
I finally scoured Chapter 7 to a publishable standard over the weekend. On to Chapter 8, which may be divided into two. Damn you work, for getting in the way of my life.
I used to become riled up over political issues, but I'm just too tired these days. Maybe it's a sense of fatality? Actually, I don't feel riled up over anything lately. I just feel eroded.
OK, here's something I can vent about: my car has been inoperable for weeks, and I use public transportation. This involves a mile walk and two buses every morning, and three buses on the way home. Some guys are nice and offer me rides part--if not all--the way. What gets me is when people who I don't even ask for rides get on my case about it. I don't understand why people become obsessed with other people's business. I stay late with everyone else when they make me, I'm not getting anything out of the extra hour using public transportation puts on my commute each way. So what the hell do other people care for?
Friday, February 07, 2014
The bitter air feels vengeful, as Mother Earth cries out, "Why did you not listen to my messiah, Al Gore?" Heat is nothing more than molecular energy. The cold saps away my body's heat as a cruel, icy universe demands equilibrium. I gobble down Devil Dogs with peanut butter in a vain effort to sate it, but the cosmos's insane hunger is never satisfied.
This would all sound much better in Russian.
P.S. Do Catholic drummers prefer the rhythm method?
Tuesday, February 04, 2014
Holy shit on a shit cracker, I can't believe it was fifty degrees two days ago. I slipped and slid on the sidewalk, so I had to walk in the street again. I love when I leave early to be sure to catch my bus, and it doesn't show up. Then the next bus is overpacked, with entitled princesses sitting in the aisle seats with empty window seats next to them that you have to ask politely to either move over or get the fuck up and let you pass.
It's supposed to snow again, maybe tomorrow, maybe this weekend. No point in getting the car fixed yet. I was too exhausted to work on chapter seven last night. Tv time with the kids is still quality time, especially when there's popcorn involved.
My father took the train into New York every day for us. He got up at five AM and came home at seven PM. Every single workday. I don't remember him ever being sick. Of course, I never really appreciated it the way I should have.
Monday, February 03, 2014
My first bus was late. Actually, I left extra early, so I could catch an even earlier bus, but that never arrived either. I'm sitting on the second bus, waiting for it to leave.
I had uneventful weekend. I tried to start the car, but it's no use, the filter and hoses are full of gel and will have to be replaced again. I hate pouring money into that old piece of shit but I can't afford a new one just yet.
I edited and coded most of chapter seven over the weekend, but I wasted far too much time playing Pixel Dungeon and catching up with Rick and Morty. It was fun watching the Superbowl with the kids.
I feel apprehensive and anxious about work today, but I really don't know why. I have a very simple task to finish. I feel like I'm afraid of being blamed for other peoples mistakes. Believe me, I make enough of my own.