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Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Illustration Fridayers Unite!

Way back, in the ancient days of AOL, we used to do these things were everyone in the chat room would get together regularly on Friday nights. Now, I'm not suggesting that, as we all have lives, but how about a get-together? Any Illustration Fridayers in the NYC area want to meet for dinner/drinks somewhere in Manhattan some Saturday night? How about March 18th, for an example? Any ideas?

TTFN
-Tony

A Drink with Jam & Bread


"Life," Marvin the Paranoid Android said, "don't talk to me about life!"

And there's so many interesting things about life. (I can hear my 9th grade English teacher, the feared & respected Mrs. Bauer, chastising me for starting a sentence with and. But I digress.)

Let's start off with the insanity over this Dubai port deal. As you can see from an earlier post, I'm one of those who thinks it's a bad idea to give control of our ports to a country that supported terrorists. Or- let's face it- ANY COUNTRY. However, I can see the argument that the Bush administration would not have done this deal if there were any risk at all. Then again, this is the same President Bush who did a stunt on an aircraft carrier and claimed "Mission Accomplished" when the casualties were less than half of the present tally, the same president who could not see that Shiites, Kurds and Sunnis just don't want to live under the same roof together, the same… I could go on all night. The most worrying factor is the secrecy and the insistence on Bush's part that this deal goes through. And why is a president getting so involved as to threaten veto power if the deal falls through? Ooh, Mama, I is so confused…

Do you want to know what irks me to know end? That they find some pervert who downloads kiddie porn, (do I have to put the obligatory "I am against kiddie porn downloading" here?) some poor schmuck who probably never would have gone out of his house to get kiddie porn if the internet wasn't so damn quick, easy and anonymous- and they take him, and put a 3 x 5 mug shot of him in the newspaper. Then they write a two page article about what a monster this guy is, give him a jail sentence longer than if he had actually raped someone, and crow about what they're doing to protect our kids.

So what's the problem, I hear you cry. The problem is that it's SMOKE AND MIRRORS. They do the easy task of finding the downloader, put his head on a spike, and like a nutty president, claim "Mission Accomplished." BUT WHAT ABOUT FINDING THE PEOPLE WHO MADE THIS VIDEO IN THE FIRST PLACE? WHAT ABOUT ACTUALLY SAVING THOSE KIDS WHO WERE RAPED AND TORTURED FOR THESE VIDEOS? Nope, sorry, that's too hard. Maybe the public will forget about that bit if we give these downloaders a two-page spread in the Daily News. IF YOU CAN TRACE THE REVENGE OF THE SITH DVD ON THE INTERNET BACK TO ITS SOURCE AND GIVE THE UPLOADER THREE FUCKING YEARS IN JAIL, WHY CAN'T YOU TRACE KIDDIE PORN AND SAVE SOME ACTUAL KIDS?

Sigh.

A friend of mine once said, "I decided to just be honest with everyone and tell them what I truthfully thought. Then no one liked me anymore." Ah, the American dream, to no longer give a damn if you're liked…

TTFN
-Tony

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Totally and Thoroughly Disgusted

After waiting a year for Tom Baker's return to the big screen (after the unmentionable D&D Movie) The Magic Roundabout to be released in the U.S., I am utterly nauseated to find out that it has been re-dubbed with American actors and renamed Doogal. This is obviously because American kids just won't go to see a movie with English accents- the fact that Harry Potter and Chicken Run bombed at the box office proved that- right? Gone are Tom Baker, Joanna Lumley, & Jim Broadbent, replaced by the likes of Jon Stewart, Whoopie Goldberg, & Jimmy Fallon. There is a cold, cold place in hell reserved for these assholes. May their livers turn to turnips, may their hair turn to brillo, may they forever wet their beds, and may every television set they watch get horrible reception. Bastards.

TTFN
-Tony

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Peace at Last!

I can't describe the peace I feel, knowing that I don't have to worry any more about terrorism or national security. After all, if the Bush Administration doesn't give a flying fuck about these things, why should I?

TTFN
-Tony

Monday, February 20, 2006

A Bad Poem

Three penguins walked
Across the desert.
I ate them all,
Because I was hungry.

© 2006 Tony LaRocca

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Sing, Sing a Song...



I've decided this week to illustrate my song in song. So please click here to see my beautiful, normal, and not at all strange little ditty.

TTFN
-Tony

Friday, February 10, 2006

Keep It Simple


Simple. I asked Joe to do this week's Illustration Friday for me. Here are his minimalist interpretations of a Tie Fighter Advanced (the kind Darth Vader flew) and a Gameboy.

Here are some more answers to things you wanted to know:

Aravis:
Suppose for a moment that by changing the color of the sky, you could stop global warming. What color would you choose?
The sky is blue because that is the wavelength photons travel along when the white light of the sun (when above the horizon) is refracted towards the center of the atmosphere (the ground.) As the sun nears the horizon, its angle of refraction changes and the photons reach us at slower frequencies, which we see as red. (Keep in mind that color is merely how our brains displays in our minds the different wavelengths of light that our eyes perceive)

So to answer your question: To change the color by changing the angle of refraction, I’d have to- (a) change the chemical composition of the atmosphere or (b) put up an "ozone force shield" like in that Worst Sequel to an Awesome Movie Award winner, Highlander 2. If I changed the color of light that was refracted toward the light towards the earth, there would be consequences. For example, chlorophyll eats all wavelengths of light EXCEPT green- which is why it's reflected back to our eyes. Too much green light & the plants die. Too much violet light, the plants thrive. Then they would consume more CO2 which would mean... the list of cause and effect is endless.

So, I hear you cry, what color would you change the sky to to stop global warning? Black. I would cover the world in utter darkness. Then the global warming would stop, and the global freezing could begin.

Caroline:
How often do you have lucid dreams and just how much control do you have over the dream and yourself in the dream when you do?
It depends. It used to happen on its own about once a month. I was once quite good at making them happen by focusing my will as I fell asleep, but lately I've lost the knack- probably because I haven’t been getting enough sleep.

The great thing about dreams is that scientists really have no idea what they are. They insist emphatically that they are NOT omens, OBEs, past live, etc, etc, etc, but they don’t really know what they ARE. And though they have theories (random flashes of neural energy that our mind interprets as an event,) lucid dreams throw monkey wrenches into most of them.

TIPS
1.Think about it all the time. Make a habit of questioning weather you're dreaming or not.

2. Figure out a trigger. My best one is vision. My eyesight is terrible. So if I can see clearly w/o glasses, I know I’m dreaming.

3. BEWARE OF LOOPS. Loops are my term for when I lose control of a dream. This is usually caused by strong emotion, such as fear or sexual desire. For example, I was looking for a door (more on that later.) However, I was also being chased. Instead of fighting my pursuers, or simply ignoring them, I became caught in the loop of the chase. Remember your goal & don’t get caught up in the minutia.

4. Beware other people. My LDs are sometimes chock full of strangers. This usually happens at night, so I’m wondering if they are other people's dreams. I can’t interact with most of them; the ones I can interact with usually sidetrack me from my goal.

5.Transportption. I love to fly in my LDs. However, I can’t get very far. It's as if each setting is on a giant soundstage, perhaps a mile in each direction. Instead, I use doors. I stand before a door, state my intent, open the door, and (usually) I go where I want. I’ve heard of others using will power alone to teleport to a different location, but I’ve never gotten it to work.

6. Keep your mind as clear as possible. Worries (is this going to work?) fears, etc. can sidetrack you.

7. Get your sleep! For some reason, it works best if you've gotten up after about 5 hours sleep or so, sit up for fifteen minutes, then go back to bed. Try it.

That's it for this week, feel free to ask more. BTW, I've added a few more animations/movies to YouTube. Keep checking for more. You know you want to. What else are you going to do, look at porn? There's just so many pictures out there of Tara Reid falling out of her dress before it gets old, you know. Expand your horizons.

TTFN
-Tony

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Tony Answers All (or at least some)

As I said earlier, the beautiful and mulit-hued-haired String has tagged me. I'm supposed to answer questions about myself. I asked you all for questions, and you've replied. So here you go, the longest blog post ever!

Anonymous:
What does Tony fear and love the most in way of outside world?
The obvious answer is I love my family the most, and what I fear is anything happening to them. Beyond that... I suppose if I was sent to Room 101 (Read 1984 if you don’t get the reference) it would be full of yellow-jackets. My second greatest love is that feeling you get when you KNOW you've created something really good, something you're truly proud of.

a good person just tryin' to get along:
1. Who are you and what have you done with my mother?
I've spent too much time trying to figure out that one. I've decided to stick with God's answer to Moses, "I am 'I am.'" As far as your mother goes, nothing- as far as I know.

2. Who are the "they" in "that's what they say?"
They are all those who have used the phrase before. Once you use it, you forever join their clique.

3.What's the flavor of toast?
It depends on what bread you use & how long you toast it for. General answer- bland, dry, & slightly sweet.

4. If you had dried water, what would you use to reconstitute it?
When water completely becomes a solid (ice) it is no longer a liquid, and hence, dry. Ergo, I would use heat to turn it back into a liquid.

5. Ku-koo-ka-choo?
I am the Egg-Man, they are the Egg-Men, I am the Walrus!

Janet:
What was the young Tony like?
Young Tony was much less cynical, much more hopeful, & created much more for the sole joy of creating. On the minus side, he was far, far too dependant & obsessed with getting the approval & love of others, a trait that still plagues the current version from time to time.

Aravis:
"How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop?"
As many licks as it takes for Tootsie to pop...

Caroline:
1) What is your worst nightmare?
One night, thirteen years ago when I was stationed in D.C., I had repeated false awakenings (very realistic dreams- or debatably OBEs- that you have just woken up) that the moment I got out of bed some sort of demonic creature would attack me. I’d seen the same monster in dreams (some lucid- perhaps the male version of "the Hag?") as a child, but this was the only time I had ever physically felt pain in a dream- like an electric shock every time he touched me. I woke for real at about
3am. I went to the common room & sat with the CQ (someone who is in charge of the barracks all night- a rotating duty) & watched TV until it was time for work. I kept looking over my shoulder until about lunch time, when I finally accepted that I was awake.

What is your favorite daydream?
That I’m a published writer & can imagine for a living.

Are you a day dream believer?
Yes, but NOT a homecoming quee-e-e-een.

Catnapping:
...don't kid yerself. there's lots of us out in the ether who'd like those very questions answered!
Never kid a kidder.

Lee:
1 - Where's Waldo?
In the discount bins, probably. Do they even publish those anymore?

2 - Why do fools fall in love?
Because we get lonely, and we think someone else will fix that for us.

3 - Does anybody ever know what time it is?
Time is relative. We mark time with machines that change with intervals (if you run an electrical charge through quartz it emits a steady pulse. This is why we use quartz watches,) but time and space mesh to form the fabric of space/time, which is warped by gravity. TIME IS RELATIVE! You can hit a line drive that goes straight for 1/4 of a second, or a pop fly that arcs for 5 seconds. You CAN NOT, however hit a line drive at the same distance & location as the first example for 5 seconds, nor can you make the same pop fly in 1/4 of a second. (I forget where I got that from.) However, in Washington D.C. at the Naval Observatory there is an atomic clock. This is the closest we have technologically come to a machine that "ticks" at precice intervals which can be measured. This clock is pretty much what all U.S. military clocks are set to. It doesn’t get bored or excited or sleep, so time is a constant for it- at least until it somehow achieves consciousness...

Lily and Lucy White:
We all are into Doctors this week?
I am. I've been listening to Big Finish's Dr. Who audio dramas during my commute- especially my one mile walk from 63rd & Lex to 71st &
York. They star Doctors 5,6,7 & 8 & their respected companions. Though not at all canonical, they are all pretty good & fun to listen to. Unfortunately, #4: Tom Baker (huzzah huzzah,) the greatest of them all, has not been interested. A shame, really.

Carla:
What famous dead person would you like to spend a day with, and why?
I suppose Jesus, just to find out the answers to a lot of questions- assuming he'd tell me the answers.
If you had to design a bumpersticker with a slogan that describes who you are at this point in your life, what would it say?
"Watch the fucking road before you hit me!"
Who would you like to see run for president in the next election?
Me. Seriously, I'm not joking. I can't think of anyone else I want to run the free world. I can't do any worse than anyone else.
If you were going to start a religion, what would you call it?

First Church of the Reflected Image. It would be all about worshiping the self, loosely based on objectivism.
Are you really going to answer any of these questions?
No. None at all
Huh?
I didn't say anything...

Thanks to all for playing! If anyone else wants to ask any more, I'd be happy to answer.

TTFN
-Tony

Monday, February 06, 2006

Let's All Go to the Lobby

There's an awesome site, YouTube, which allows you to post movies for free! I've been uploading animations (some are still processing) and a live movie or two (ok, just one for now.) Eventually I'll get my lazy ass around to embedding them on my site. But at least you can finally see Herman Takes a Dive in all of its glory. (It was one of my firsts and is definitely dated, but it still has a warm place in my heart.) All of my movies (which I know you've read about on my site and have been drooling over a chance to see) can be found HERE. Get the popcorn and enjoy!

(Actually, not all of my movies are there, but I'm working on it. I'm considering uploading some of my "fan-fic" Dr. Who animations, such as Disco Daleks (which has made the circuit around the p2p a few times) and a nifty animation I made with animated family members singing an old Sesame Street song, but I really don't want to tempt the fickle finger of copyright infringement.)

NOTE: Sometimes it takes the videos a few minutes to load. I suggest hitting PAUSE, and then, when the first bar gets about 3/4 across the screen, hit PLAY.

TTFN
-Tony

Fetch... THE COMFY CHAIR!



Once again, I am making the best of a banal Illustration Friday word.

The lovely & multi-hued-haired String has tagged me! I'm supposed to answer five questions about myself. The only problem is, I have no idea what questions people want to know. I mean, you all don't really give a damn what music I listen to or what my favorite color is or how long my schlong is or whatever. So kindly come up with questions- real questions, and I'll pick the best ones.

TTFN
-Tony