Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Gripes, Gripes, & More Gripes

Question: What's wrong with this picture?

Answer: There is a person actually taking time out of her life to picket city hall to get a law passed that will ban trans-fats in restaurants. Never mind that this is yet another blow to the concept of personal responsibility, (I do live in a city where two chubbies are suing McDonalds because they supposedly had no idea that eating there daily was bad for their health,) I’m talking about the fact that this bimbo has nothing better to do with her life than protest fat. I WOULD GIVE MY RIGHT TESTICLE TO HAVE SO LITTLE WORRIES IN MY LIFE THAT I COULD CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE EAT!

Other things that my stomach-twisting-stress-filled-life keeps me from giving a rat's ass about:

Same Sex Marriage. Who cares, it leaves more for the rest of us- though I have to wonder how many gays only want to get married because they're told they can’t.

What to Call Same Sex Marriages. What, it's like the Sneeches? You want to be able to tell who has stars on thars? Actually, it would be pretty funny if they had a national lottery to see who could come up with the best name.

Any Sports Team. Baseball season is over, so who cares? Besides, if the Yankees no longer give a damn, why should I?

Paris Hilton, Madonna, Britany Spears, etc., etc., etc! Please feel free, however, to keep posting pictures of Lindsy Lohan falling out of her top. Thank you.

Electon 2006. To quote (the novel) The Godfather, "’I don’t trust society to protect us, I have no intention of placing my fate in the hands of men whose only qualification is that they managed to con a block of people to vote for them.’"
From The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror VII, Citizen Kang: (Bill Clinton and Bob Dole have been revealed to really be squid-like aliens Kang and Kodos.)
Kang: It's a two-party system. You have to vote for one of us!
Man: Well then, I believe I'll vote for a third party candidate!
Kang: Go ahead! Throw your vote away! Ahahahaha!

By all means, feel free to add your own.


Saturday, October 28, 2006

The Summer Wind, Came Blowin in, from Across the Sea...

A Poem:

The wind came blowing from across the sea
The wind came blowing just to look for me
The wind brought with it driving rains
The wind, it blasted out my brains!

-Tony LaRocca
from Poems that Will Never be in an Elementary School English Book.

An open notice to all politicians:

GEORGE BUSH IS NOT RUNNING FOR RE-ELECTION. Understand? So please do not make EVERY SINGLE DAMNED AD about how your opponent once lit a doobie with George Bush, and tell me what you actually plan to do!

An open note to John Spencer.

Wait- you say- who is John Spencer? I didn’t know either, until he got a tiny bit of ink by telling a reporter that Hillary Clinton must have had millions of dollars of surgery done, because she was butt-ugly in college. (Not his exact words.) First of all, she’s still butt-ugly, but that’s beside the point. The point is, I never even knew someone was even running against her- and I read the news every day. I guess this is what her opponent had to say to actually get his name in the paper. The only problem is that the schmuck must have absolutely nothing to offer, if he had to resort to this bit of idiocy. Of course, he could have simply said that she’s done absolutely NOTHING for New York in the past two years she’s been in office… goddamn moron.

Using Dosbox, I actually got the original Hack 3.61 to run on my Pocket PC! (There’s a port of Nethack, but I hate Nethack. Is there ANYONE out there who’s ever won Nethack without cheating?) The only problem is that it won’t load the savegames. I’m not sure if this is the fault of the Dosbox beta or Hack. If you’re a true geek, you’ll understand.


Sunday, October 22, 2006

Illustration Friday: Ghost

It's amazing how much more handsome photoshop can make me look!


Monday, October 16, 2006

Sunday, October 15, 2006

3 & 1/2 Years in 1 & 1/4 Minutes

Like the title says. 621 Digital Camera pictures from May 2003 > October 2006. Enjoy
(Sorry for the crappy quality. My guess is YouTube is set to prioritize motion vs image quality, & the fast torrent of images makes it hard to keep up.)


Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Analyze Tony Once Again!

Anniversary #9! That makes it my “Yoko” Anniversary!

Dreams of the last few days:

Fire Bed:
In an old hut, lying on a homemade bed in the dead of winter. It was an old lady's bed. There is a charred iron box full of wood under the bed, and the steel mesh holding up the mattress is charred. The bottom of the mattress is sooty & reeks of carbon. It occurs to me that I’m supposed to light a fire under my bed to keep it warm & survive the winter. It also occurrs to me that this is an incredibly stupid thing to do. I realize I would have to steal wood every day.

Church Football:
Eddie, (a foreman I worked for with IPC up in Westchester three years ago,) asks me to play on the Church Football Team. I agree, but arrive late. In my hurry to suit up, I leave my Pocket PC in my pants pocket (which football uniforms don’t have, but anyway....) I frantically search for a hiding place while the game gets underway without me. I find one in the original rectory, in a drawer full of corked test tubes with blood inside. A madman rushes in & threatens me with a razor knife (box-cutter.) He wants one of the tubes! A crowd gathers. I knock the razor out of his hand, grab him by the shoulder & chin, & bash his head against a wooden column until he's unconscious. I’m quite pissed that no one helped me.

Death Star:
I'm a Sith Lord on board a space station (all right!) I have some sort of mission to protect a princess. After slashing up some pesky rebels, I take an elevator... & get stuck inside. Power is cut. Everything is dark. Damn it.

I’m on the surface of the planet. I go lucid for a bit & fly around. I see the princess again, being attacked by Rebel Scum. I swoop down out of the sky, scare the bejesus out of them, & slash them into rump roasts with my fiery orange-red light saber.

Guidance Counselor:
Jen, Joe, Mandy & I are at Ridge High. I’m checking out the television equipment for Mr. Spear (the TV teacher when I was in high school & a great one at that.) The kids have wandered off! I go inside & find (with all dream logic) that they're in the home of a friend, which has been converted into a fundamentalist church. I find Joe, but I’m still looking for Mandy. I go in the kitchen. A Russian teenage girl is there. Her name begins with an R. She seems nervous & afraid. The phone rings, & we hear Eddie Murphy's voice leaving a message on the answering machine. The girl has never heard of him. I tell her that he's the guy from Shrek, & a friend of mine & the house's previous owners (in the dream I believe this to be true.) She asks for my phone number, says she needs to talk with someone. I give her my email address instead. She looks afraid, as if abused. I ask who her teachers are, hoping to steer her towards someone more equipped to help her. She tells me, but I don’t recognize any of them. A teenage boy joins us & the two of them start talking. Happy she has a friend her age, I leave them to it.

Feel Free to Analyze.


Sunday, October 08, 2006

There's No Way to Delay- Mo' Trouble Coming Every Day

If you're a parent of a young child who finds he or she is always in trouble, may I suggest listening to this clip from Robert Anton Wilson's lecture in Quantum Psychology (I'd suggest right-clicking & downloading:) nogood.mp3