Saturday, August 31, 2013

Any happy little thought?

I'm going to do this positive thought of the day thing, since I've been such a miserable bastard lately. Today, I'm happy my parents still live in the house I grew up in, and that, for some reason, they enjoy spending time with me as much as I do with them. Also, that my father still loves the Yankees and pinochle, and my mother makes yummy chocolate crockpot cakes. They're good people.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

It is impossible for me to hear "Take on Me" without dancing like one of the kids in the Charlie Brown Christmas Special.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Wow - now this is something happy to wake up to! - The Brainy Bookshelf.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Hey, abstinence didn't work very well for the Virgin Mary, now did it?

Friday, August 23, 2013

Warm and Uplifting Blog Post

Here I am at the playground again. Look at me, aren't I the most wonderful father in the world? I'm telling everybody on the internet that I'm taking my daughter to the playground. The truth is, there's nothing I'd rather be doing. That's not to say that being a playground dad is the most wonderful thing ever, just that I have nothing else going on. I have to go to work tomorrow. Its not like I have a wild social life anyway. Anyone want to see the new Simon Pegg movie? I have no one to go with. I'm too tired to edit right now. I'm in the middle of playing Borderlands 2, but its not really giving me any joy at the moment. Joe's bed needs a new mattress and box spring. I need a new car. I need a new me. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids to death, but I don't want to pretend that me loving them somehow makes me special. I hate complaining about my life, because the solution is always there. I'm just too lazy.

What the fuck happened to this country? When I was young, we were told that Russia was the place for you always have to watch what you said or did, because someone was always looking over your shoulder, someone was always listening in on what you said, and judging you. Russia was the place where police were above the law. Russia was the country that tortured people. But then I think about Vietnam, I think about Joe McCarthy, and I realize that none of this shit is new. We were all just fed a bunch of lies that we were special, we were different, and we believed it. Look, I don't blame the world on Obama, but for fuck's sake. Nothing makes me want to bash my head against the wall these days more than the phrase "hope and change." Sorry, it was just another lie. "If you're not doing anything wrong you don't have anything to worry about?" Really? Yes, the Republican Party is evil. Yes, the Democratic Party is evil too. I have no idea what the solution is, I'm not going to pretend that I do. Well that's not entirely true. We could repeal the Patriot Act for a start. Do you realize that any smartphone mic, at any time, can be used as a wire by the NSA to spy on what is happening around you? Yes, that shit is legal. Look it up. 

There's this wonderful good cop bad cop game going on. Your side? Those are the good cops. The other side? Those are the bad cops. Hey, we're all sorry that your food supply is being poisoned, but you know, it's the other guys' fault. Sorry everything you drink is full of chemicals and hormones. Sorry your kids are more susceptible to cancer than ever before. Oh, but here's a pink ribbon. Just don't forget, that pink ribbon is trademarked - don't you dare use it for your own use. And if your kids do get cancer someday, hey - here's hoping you have good insurance! And, if in the future universal healthcare passes, then we can pay for that cancer out of the Treasury. Or rather, we can just add it to the national debt. As long as all that money flows somewhere, right?
Due to repeated listening in the car, my daughter now knows Columbia's part in "Eddie's Teddy." My work is done.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

I made the cut today, although the job may be over tomorrow. Five people laid off, and they kept me, the guy with the fornicated knees, and the two hour each way commute. I know I'm wonderful, but sheesh.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

IF: Power

Illustration Friday: Power. Digital painting of a Cenobite. It would have to do something with electricity, right? Now he just needs a name...

"What's your pleasure, sir?"

TTFN -Tony

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Work quote of the day: "I bet everyone hates you, because you're always right." Pretty much...

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Annoying Self Publishing Nonsense

Suzanne Casamento has been a friend of mine since childhood. Recently she wrote and published her first YA novel, Fingerprints. It's an amazing book. I found myself drawn into her characters, and couldn't put it down until I had finished it. If you check out her reviews, you'll see that at the time of this writing, fifteen other people agree. However, one person does not. Now, before you think I'm just whining, and tell me all books have bad reviews, she should have a thick skin, some people just aren't going to like it, etc., check out what the review actually says:

That's right, folks, this reviewer has not read this book. She is giving the book one star, because she has personally determined that all of Miss Casamento's glowing reviews - including my own - must be bogus. Read it again. This is the bullshit self-published authors have to contend with now. 

When other reviewers came to Miss Casamento's defense, the reviewer responded with the following:

Let's make this clear: She admits that she HAS NOT READ THE BOOK. She even goes so far as to challenge Miss Casamento to give her a free copy to prove her wrong. She makes even more completely unfounded snide insults, and reiterates that it is her sacred duty to warn others that this book is a "bad purchase" - once again, a book she has never read.

In self-publishing, reviews and ratings are everything, and can launch or tank a new writer's career. If a book deserves a bad review, then by all means, give it one. (Hey, if it deserves a good one, give it one too.) But to try to hurt the rise of a new book and warn readers away for absolutely no reason... I just don't understand. Obviously, there is some agenda here. What it could possibly be, I have no idea.


Friday, August 16, 2013

Woke up feeling mean. I wish there was a ship of psychotic, murderous aliens disguised as adorable bunnies that I could set fire to.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Everyone else has an OtterBox. Where can I get a Riverbottom Nightmare Box?

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

When I edit, I read my work out loud (either as Tom Baker or Morgan Freeman.) Always fun when the bums on the subway look at me like I'M crazy.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Apparently, singing "foreman, don't cry" over "woman, don't cry," on a construction site is "insensitive." "Let's get together and install the light" is also a no-no. Who knew?

Monday, August 12, 2013

I am furious with my body that I maintain my weight when I'm lazing around the apartment for months, but then when I'm on my feet all day long, it's like the body just explodes with blubber.
My phone died. I loved that phone because the giant battery let me use it all day long, with all the bells and whistles. Also, it had a 3D screen and camera. People at work annoy the living shit out of me when it comes to my toys. Sorry, that's an unfair generalization. People just annoy the shit out of me.
"Uh, I see you on that thing all the time. I bet you couldn't live without that phone."
"Well, let's see. Either I'm writing, or reading, or playing a game, checking the news, or catching up with friends. Yes, I have friends, probably because I'm not obsessed with what other people do, and don't need to test them for alpha male status."
What is it with people? Why do some people need to shit-test everyone? Why do some people mistake kindness for weakness? I have the strength not to be mean to you. Whatever, my life is too short.

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Happy I got sent to a different site now that this job is finished instead of getting laid off. The new two hour plus commute... not so happy.

Monday, August 05, 2013