Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Was it like this for everyone?

For those interested in such things, when I got LASIK, this is what I saw.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Free ebook giveaway is coming soon...

Although I have ranted against the practice in the past, I have decided to have a free giveaway of the Kindle version of False Idols and Other Short Stories for a week upon publication of my next book, for promotion's sake. Amazon also has a new feature, which allows people who have bought the print version from them to have a free ebook copy. (If you've bought it somewhere else, let me know, and I'll hook you up.)

The only problem is, to do this easily, I'll have to join the Kindle Direct Publishing Select program, which gives Kindle exclusive rights to sell my book. This is a little annoying, that means I have to (perhaps temporarily) pull it out of the Smashwords markets, the most notable being Apple and Nook. This isn't really an issue for me. I've sold hundreds of ebooks on Amazon, and about three on Nook. I've sold one on Apple, but having an exclusive Apple ebook store makes no sense, as i-products have a free Kindle app anyway. Thank you very much to all who have purchased it, especially those who have written reviews.

I hope everyone has had a happy 2014 and a Merry Christmas. Stay tuned!


Tuesday, December 23, 2014

For the over-thirty crowd...

I've just made up a new phrase, "Busier than a no-legged man in a Weeble contest." Feel free to use it.


Sunday, December 21, 2014

"...and that's all that I yam..."

"So, you can see fine now?"
"That's right," I told Mandy, The Doctor says my sight is 20/20, which is pretty awesome for the first day. I still have a lot of dryness and irritation, though. I also have a really cool red ring around my eyeballs, which will unfortunately go away in a week.
"Wow," she said, "You're like a brand new Daddy!"
I thought about this for a moment. "But what if I like being the Daddy I am?"
She made a face at me, and went back to playing Wii Power Rangers.

So what if I do like being the person I am? Yes, I've done a million stupid things, made uncountable mistakes, good, things, bad things, been kind, hurt people, been fat, thin, too trustful, too suspicious, felt I've let myself down, been proud of myself... the list of bad and good things goes on and on. Are there things in my past I'm not proud of? Yes - but they're mine, they make up me. I love me, the good and the bad, and if I'm your friend, it's because you're awesome. I can't imagine wanting to be anyone else. All I can do is own it, and be proud of that. Yes, there have been times I haven't felt that way. So what? It's all part of me. Some days, I've woken singing Jim Croce's line, "Hey tomorrow, you better believe that I'm through wasting what's left of me." Other days I've woken, given myself a mental high-five, and gone on my merry way. Whatever. As the great late Frank Zappa said, "You are what you is, and that's all it is."

It looks like the book is going to be delayed until the new year, which is just the way it's going to have to be. The scouring s coming along nicely, but it takes time, and needs to be perfect. Besides, the kindle version will come out first, and it will be a pain in my anus if all the different versions have different copyright years. I'm only allowing myself to stare at the computer for a half hour at a time, through sunglasses. The doctor says I'm healing perfectly, so why fornicate it up?

Anyhoo, peace, love, and soul - time to get back to work.


Friday, December 19, 2014

LASIK recovery is getting boring...

"Hey mama, don't you treat me wrong, come and love your daddy all night long! All right now, hey hey, all right..."

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Pretty, Pretty Please?

Dear J. J. Abrams: I know George Lucas lowered the bar to the Earth's core with the prequels, so you can't really damage the Star Wars universe any more than he already has. There is only one wish I have of you. Do anything you want: Have Jar-Jar become a Sith Lord, bring back the Ewoks, have Luke, Leia and Han have a granny threesome - but please, I'm typing this on my knees right now - do NOT bring Hayden Christensen back as the ghost of good Vader/ Anakin. If you do, I can't be held responsible for my actions.

The world feels boring and sad these days. I had a bizarre dream about watching the Minions from Despicable Me with a man I didn't know, who had ginormous boobs that hung down to the floor. Feel free to analyze that all you want. Vacation is almost here - my first real vacation in eleven years (as opposed to furloughs or unemployment) and I'm treating myself to something I've always wanted. Happy to be employed all this time. Of course, it's always possible I'll be laid off the day I come back. Not expecting it, but it has happened. "Hope for the best, expect the worst," as the Mel Brooks song goes. At least I've been employed long enough to take vacation. The poop plant has been good to me. Unless, of course, the poop gas is slowly killing me inside...

The final edit of The Lies of the Sage is coming along. The best suggestion I can make to writers - have your phone read your book to you. (Moon+ Reader Pro for Android does a great job of this.) I've caught all kinds of things I would have skimmed over otherwise. I have to admit, I'm worried people will feel gypped that it ends on a "to be continued" note, but as I've said before, they seem accepting of it with A Song of Ice and Fire. As far as anyone not liking or over-analyzing its content, well, as they said in the old days, "Quod scripsi, scripsi."


Friday, December 12, 2014

Can't believe he's 17!

Birthday surprise! First time should always be at a midnight theater showing. :D


Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Only Slightly Narcissistic

New book coming out means a new author photo for Amazon:

Monday, December 08, 2014

Manly Men!

Real men don't bitch and whine about having to work outside three winters in a row. We proudly do what is asked of us, and when our toes blacken and fall off, goddamn it, we serve them up as cocktail weenies!


Thursday, December 04, 2014

First Glimpse!

So here it is, the cover and title of my first novel. I'm hoping to have it out by Christmas, at least for Kindle. Comments and suggestions are more than welcome. (Click on the image for higher resolution.)


Tuesday, December 02, 2014

My brain seems to be leaking today...